Static presses your mind against mine,
and your unheard words reverberate
somewhere in the static because
you had no telegraph to tap
SOS in dots and dashes
••• --- •••
.
There's so many miles between you and me,
that the waves sent out by the towers--
with the red lights that blink like
gem eyes at the pinnacle--
have all been disrupted
by gray interference
•••• • •-•• •--•
-- •
.
All the telegraph towers seem to be getting chopped down
like trees fainting dead away in a doomed forest
••-• •- •-•• •-•• •• -• --•
••- •--• --- -•
-- •
.
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129,832 Literary Works • 671,510 Reviews
Hello Widdershins, this is TheMastermind with a review I hope you will enjoy. I didn't really enjoy the poem's title. It is very dubious and unorthodox. Not that everything has to be orthodox, it just makes sense with a better title. I loved the diction, the flow and the message given by the poem. The technical aspects of the poem and the morse code placed below each beautiful stanza added to the fun. I loved how it was well punctuated making it easy and nice to read. /
My favourite lines and stanza :
There's so many miles between you and me,
that the waves sent out by the towers--
with the red lights that blink like
gem eyes at the pinnacle--
have all been disrupted
by gray interference
•••• • •-•• •--•
-- •
Favourite Line was
There's so many miles between you and me
Not going to lie, I definitely had my doubts on this poem because of the title. Well, I guess I have learned the lesson: "Don't judge a book by its cover" because this was incredible. I loved the diction, the syntax, the symbolism, and the figurative language. It was super cute the way the morse code dots and dashes were below each stanza. You don't see a lot of poetry like this, and I think that's why I enjoyed it so much. You played with an old theme but with a technological tone.
Love!
Wow. This poem is amazing. It has so much to give. The form is unique and involved, drawing in the reader visually. There is an underlying message in the words too of deep distress but leaves the reader to decipher the meaning and background. In the second line, I feel like the use of the "--" is cheating the form. I don't know what could happen to change that but it's there. I love the last written lines and they make a huge impact in the overall mood of the poem.
Keep writing!
~Shade