Don't Look Back

I don’t remember how I got here nor who even took me there. All I remember is my name and one phrase that echoes in my mind as I traverse through the castle.

Don’t look back.

The hallway is bathed in full moon’s light through tall glass windows carved into the stone an uneven mix of light and shadow. Neither music nor gossip traveled these halls, only my bare feet tapping smooth stone and my heartbeat broke the cold silence. I’m unable to turn from side to side, only using my peripheral vision to compensate for both sides, and yet I’m able to move up and down. The side was lined with a couple couches, roses and other flowers sitting in vases perched on tables. I snatch one of the roses without tipping their glass home and deeply taking in its fresh aroma, one hand cradling pristine petals and lightly brushing them while the other traced down the rose’s stem to feel no thorns with only a single leaf sticking out of the stem.

My eyes glance at the wall of portraits depicting both people and animals doing various activities. A lady leaping joyfully off the swing whilst birds fly across the sky, another is a man strumming a lute surrounded by woodland critters, then a painting of wolf and fox dancing on hind legs as creatures watch them on the sidelines. A common quirk all these portraits share is the absence of faces on humans except the animals; no nose, no mouth, not even a brow, just a smooth blank surface in their place. The hall splits in two paths and in the middle is a great portrait stretching the wall, depicting three hunters taking a final stand against a colossal infernal bat bedecked in dazzling jewelry and baring its fangs at them. My eyes were entranced by this breathtaking black and white landscape with the only colors on the jewels and golden strings entwining the bat, just imagining the time and painstaking labor it took to bring this piece to life. I see my arm slowly rising and reaching towards the alluring beast, almost calling to be touched by silky fingers.

Don’t look back.

I nearly jumped out of my skin and retracted back to their original position, backing up to view two paths and picked one without much thought. The straight hall bends in sharp geometric angles and I have to reposition my body every five minutes or risk bumping into stone corners, gradually the angles twist into curves and the laws of physics become suggestions. All the while, furnishing remained undisturbed in these bizarre angles, even flowers stayed in their vases and curtain hems didn't fall to the ceiling. My legs sways from side to side and vision becomes unfocused, at the same time a hand covers my mouth and breathes heavily while the other grips on the stem tightly. Blurred eyes darted through the hall to find rows of doors. I headed towards one of them, turning the knob but it was locked. I tried to open one of the doors but soon learned it was locked. Then moved on to the next door yet it was the same as the previous one. In some foolish optimism I tried every single door, even went back to push my luck on the same doors.

“Is anybody there,” I cried out, banging on the dark wood as hard as possible. “I just need a little rest,” But regardless of how many doors I try or burn my lungs for any response on the other side, just deafening silence and leaning against the window.

While regaining my composure, I peer down to a garden painted in varying shades of green colors dotted about. Scattered about are several white shapes on top of the water and some on the grass. The height was sickening and vision started to distort again, closing my eyes and continuing to walk for several steps. Slowly I open my eyes again to find the hall back to normal and a giant golden ornate mirror with a bird behind an urn with outstretched wings carved into the top frame stands at the end, staring into my own reflection. Quickly noticing the rest of the hall from behind reflecting the exact windows, doors, furnishing albeit in reverse. It didn’t show the remainder of the hall being blocked by my own body, never getting a complete image. I sidestep just out of the mirror’s view to see moonlight at the start then further down is a dark void and nobody behind me, just my own presence and sighed in relief.

“How long since…” my voice trailing off as the mirror mimics my movements and likeness to a fault, even admiring my ocean blue eyes sparkling in the reflection. “Why lady Genevieve, you look quite lovely tonight,” I said to my own reflection and giggling at the silly little remark.

My hand reaches toward the glass image expecting a solid surface, instead the fingers sink into the mirror from its physical boundary and nothing to hold back. Instinctively I pull them back and repeatedly turn my hand over to find them intact. The glass surface ripples and distorts like water within the frame, then reverts back to a solid image, just as enthralling yet puzzling as the castle itself.

I plunge headfirst into the reflection without a second thought, hoping it would take me anywhere, even the undercroft would be more interesting than wandering aimlessly. Neither heat nor cold exist between the spaces, even weight and direction become trivial compared to the previous room. I couldn’t see my own hand in front of me or draw breath neither alive nor dead, becoming nothing but a soul drifting wandering aimlessly. But one thought continues to chimes in, pushing me onward to the other side.

Don’t look back.

Emerging out of the mirror being greeted by the sound of crackling fire filling the spacious room. Two doors behind a long dark table with several chairs around it, and above is an enormous tapestry of animals in human clothing relishing the banquet while a faceless human bard entertains them.

“I already like this room,” I said with contempt, then a loud rumbling stirs inside. A faint familiar scent catches my nose making my stomach growls once more. “The owner won’t mind if I take a little nibble, right? You can’t do anything on an empty stomach,”

Opening one of the doors was a crowded kitchen of pots and pans stacked on top or some cooking on stove tops filling the air with herbs and spices while the surface bubbles and reforms. A line drool streamed down my chin, snapping out of the hunger induced trance and quickly wiped it away with the nightgown’s sleeve. A bundle of vegetables sits on the countertop and some chopped on the cutting board, while a large section of chuck roast rests on a separate board and hanging above is a whole plucked chicken and a gutted pig hanging on hooks ready for the next meal. The growling grew louder, I grabbed a clean spoon and headed towards the simmering pot of stew filled with cooked roast cut into small cubes; while bits of potatoes, peas, carrots, and other herbs intermittently floated to the surface.

“Just a taste,” reminding myself as I take a few breaths before eating.

The roast started melting apart and vegetables were soft enough to break apart with little resistance all wrapped by delight and savoring each flavor. The warmth revives my exhausted body with a renewed energy, yet an overwhelming desire for more. Quickly I grab a bowl from the stack and at the same time try not to turn around, then gingerly ladle the fresh steaming stew into the bowl and not wasting a single drop. Once again my body is enveloped in that familiar warmth and vigor coming back stronger than before, like I could take on whatever life throws at me with this meal alone. When nothing remained in the bowl I started to lick the bowl and spoon, savoring that wondrous taste one last time before putting them in the sink. I backed up to find a bottle of wine with the cork stuck in the neck and entertained the idea of washing the food down, but turned it down having already left a footprint of my presence. Returning to the dining room and continuing my jaunt, while the same phrase chimes in once more.

Don’t look back.

There’s never a dull moment, always a new area, always something interesting, and different strangeness at every corner. An enormous ballroom with instruments playing by themselves and human silhouettes dance in waltzes, even joining them in the flow of the music. Stairways going upside down into another floor or doors on ceilings at impossible angles with some overlapping with each other. The once locked doors held an observatory that showed the night sky, a cozy drawing room with a harpsichord and a large teleporting mirror on the wall, a humid hot spring built into the floor, and another was a boudoir connected to one of the bedrooms. A chest filled with perfume bottles and liquid drips upward, still obeying its own gravity like the halls and stairs. Despite all of the wonderful and strange spaces, I never linger in one room for very long and always move to the next sight. Every corner I took something was watching me, even when backing out I never felt a body. Observing from everywhere in an animalistic-like gaze.

I put the rose near my nose and let the calming scent overtake my body; each breath basking in the notes of spice, tinge of lemon, a subtle sweetness brought to mind delicious strawberries, and wine wrapped in a warm blanket. Those haunted yet frantic ideas gradually become nothing more than distant whispers lost in the murky depths, while other thoughts float above the surface. Returning to the familiar silent halls with the full moon shining above the sky through the windows, then lowering the rose down and breathing out the icy air.

Though I've roamed these halls and gaze up at the pure moon numerous times, yet the castle’s structure is ever-changing, unable to remember all during my stay. Has it been days, months, years, or maybe centuries? Keeping track of time became a sisyphean task and next to frustrating to even recollect. The lord of the castle or whoever took me there was never found, even if I thoroughly went through every room or turned the entire castle upside down. The walks become faster with hard steps echoing the stone space, hell-bent on finding the lord or whoever and demand answers. But they were nowhere to be seen, only inducing a burning irritation pulsing through my body and at the same time resisting the urge to release those thoughtless destruction on lavish furnishing.

Suddenly my body froze in place and the raging fire was snuffed out, sensing an unknowable presence from behind with no shadow stretching over. The creature got closer and closer, yet the air remained mute as if gliding above the floor. An icy sensation crawled on my skin and its gaze burrows deep into my soul. A sharp touch brushes the nape of my neck and goosebumps sprout all over as it rests on my shoulder. Another effortlessly takes the rose out of my hand, reveling in the smell and lets out a deep sigh of relief. The creature leans closer, its rank breath tickles my skin, a lump forms in my throat and begins to retch at the decaying scent.

Don’t look back.

Instantly my body breaks out of the trance and almost on instinct bolts out of its reach. No thought was put into the direction, only the intent of breaking off the creature’s sight and escaping the castle. The halls start twisting at every turn and the floor rises like hills making the trek difficult. I spotted a stairwell going down the previous level and hopped up on the railing, sliding down at a faster pace than on foot and a brief reprieve from running before switching back to solid ground once again. The chase eventually ran up the walls, dodging and pulling acrobatic jumps over decor that littered my path, even sprinting on glass windows without shattering its structure.

Who is that? Is it even human? Why is it following me to no end? Does it ever tire? Is that thing the master of this castle? Voices shriek and overlap one another into incoherent noise, not even a whisper could release them out of their bedlam.

“If it's about the stew, I’ll be more mindful. Perhaps I could cook a new one,” I yelled at the creature from behind, but only responded in silence in its relentless hunt.

Every step becomes excruciating, like running on a bed of thorns, my breathing shorten and chest tightening. No matter how fast I run or the many twists and turns I take, the creature never wavers with a seemingly endless supply of energy, even the teleporting mirrors didn’t hinder its pursuit. My eyes glance towards the doors as a potential option that might delay this game of cat and mouse, but those very doors could be locked and more likely to get snatched by those cold sharp fingers.

It’s a gamble, but I’ll take my chances! I thought.

At the end of the hall is a single darkened door with a golden knob, fighting through the searing pain coursing through my whole body. The moment I touched the knob, I flung the door open and immediately shut it with a bang with my back firmly against the wood. While my hand scrambles for the lock until…

Click!

Air passes my lips and heart returning to a steady pace, yet it's on the verge of bursting out. A loud thud startled me off the door and sprinted away from the sudden noise, I dare not turn around. Another thud beats on the darkened wood and shortly after tries the door knob, but doesn't give way. Then long slow scratches start filling the room, like nails on a chalkboard prolonging the horrendous noise as long as possible. I plug my ears as tight as possible and ran between the bookshelves with eyes closed shut, praying it would pass. Those long scratches and thumps finally stopped for what seems like an eternity.

The full moon shines through an enormous window bathing the entire library in its light from the bookshelves filled wall to wall with books to the lightly wooden furnishing and lanterns sitting on the tables. The books contain biology, astronomy, wildlife, cookery, plays, and poetry; but none capture my attention. I rest on the settee with hands massaging my weary eyes and letting out a sigh.

“I don’t have time to look through every single shelf,” I said exhausted and let out another sigh. “There had better be a secret passage behind those accursed shelves,”

From top to bottom the books did not click and swapping them in a certain order did nothing to part the shelves. I tried matching the books by color, height, or desperately by thickness in certain sections. But also the shelves did not yield, despite several attempts at finding the supposed hidden passage. I cautiously ascend the sturdy ladder and slide across with great speed along the crescent-like structure, at the same time scanning the book’s titles hastening through monotonous search. A book caught my eyes and abruptly the ride, there was no title nor the author’s name anywhere, instead it’s bound in red leather with strange symbols etched in gold and an emerald stone embedded in the center. Its content held obscure details on herbs, beasts, as well as various spells and incantations, an escape out of this bizarre labyrinthine castle. The ladder suddenly begins to sway and my balance becomes unstable, quickly planting a shaky hand on top of the board while clutching the book in the other, my breathing shortening and heart beating aloud in my ear.

Quickly and carefully descending the ladder, I set the book down on the table with the lantern’s light dancing along the turning pages. At times flipping through the same pages and occasionally rubbing my exhausted eyes. Finally the next turn has the exact incantation, a teleportation spell that can move a person anywhere based on memory but only at short distances. I check the pages again for a stronger version, but despite doing a thorough search of the entire content. When no such thing exists, I only respond in a deep exasperated moan echoing the room.

Returning to the previous page and starting scanning through the incantation letter by letter, one little misstep could lead to dire consequences. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, recalling a place I caught numerous times yet always far away. The picture became vivid, almost being there in person frolicking in the fields without a care in the world. My breath comes out and aloud the spell, enunciating each word with precise accuracy. Light shines brightly behind closed eyes and the body’s weight seemingly featherlight reminiscent of those teleporting mirrors except a gentle warmth wrapped around me. The ground was solid yet a little damp underneath, at long last the intense light fades away and back to darkness. I slowly opened my eyes and prayed the spell worked.

Once again the full moon greets me as stars dotted the dark canvas. A light cool breeze carries the songs of owls and distant wolves, along with crickets chirping and croaking frogs up ahead. My gaze switches from the heavens to the curved wall of hedges and a menagerie of flowers, even some I recognize back at the castle. The white shapes became clear, marble statues depicting men and women of perfect beauty in various poses or walking amongst woodland critters scattered about the greenery. A smile spreads across my face as I bask in the sights and sounds of the garden, even indulging in the fresh cool air mixed with flowery aroma as fingers touch smooth milky stone.

Don’t look back.

My senses snap back and quicken my pace, I cannot afford to waste precious time standing idly by as that creature could catch up. Desperate for a direction I walk along the side of the pool, while at the same time explore more of the garden and what it holds. Along the pool stands those flawless statues seemingly dancing atop the water’s surface in a loving embrace, even without a face they seem to be happy with each other.

“Such a beautiful sight” I whisper, almost reaching out towards them and partaking in their dance like in the ballroom, but almost losing my balance and soon retracting my arm back then straightened my path. “Get a hold of yourself Genevieve! This isn’t the time to muck about, you have to focus!” I scolded myself and slapped both cheeks, the pain radiating from the impact before continuing my walk.

Eventually my legs started to shake and each step became more strenuous than the last, while every breath became more hoarse. And yet I push on despite every part of my body screaming for respite and forget about the threat. At the heart of the garden is a round fountain with a great dragon standing proud atop its perch and spitting a stream of water from its mouth, while the base holds water lilies and frogs resting on lily pads croaking their song. I collapsed on the ground with my arms catching the fountain’s stone slab to break the impact. No matter how hard I punched my legs or forced my body to stand again, I remained exhausted and helpless.

“I miss you, Genevieve. Why must you run from me?” a voice I could not place, neither man nor woman but mingling with one another in odd intonations. “You’re all mine,”

The creature’s form touches my back, pressing into my body like a soft mattress and never letting go of its prize. If it pressed any further then there might not be a body left. Every part wants to scream, run, fight, curse, just anything to escape from that horrid creature’s grasp; but my body remains frozen and not a single word slips from my lips. One arm wraps around my waist and the other around my neck. Their hands are icy to the touch with animalistic-like nails raking my throat leaving thin red lines, never bleeding despite having the strength to paint the grass in crimson without breaking a sweat. The nails slither toward my eye then tracing around the eyelid and feeling the bone around the eye, I gasp but no sound comes as voices scream in my head at the worst possible scenarios imaginable. Yet it never came, their nails sparing my sight and went back down, along with something familiar rolling down my cheeks.

Immediately my eyes closed and hands covering them, pressing them tightly almost fusing them to my face. The creature’s frigid fingers move up towards my head and tilts upward towards its view. Their breath tickling the hand and eyes scorching my bare soul, nowhere to go and energy all but spent.

“You don’t want to look at me?” the creature questions in disappointment. “Such a shame, I was looking forward to your precious little eyes once more.” fingers grazes my exposed cheek and a cold kiss on the back hands, sending cold shivers down my spine and form shrinking. The creature chuckles in amusement at my reaction.

Arms wrap around my body and lift me up with no concern for weight like picking up a rabbit then pull me up against its chest. The wind blew me further into its arms as it flew higher and higher into the heavens. Eventually the force stopped, the air was much colder than it was on the ground but my body was never at death’s door, all I could hear was the flapping of wings and my own fearful breathing. Partially filled with curiosity as to the scene while the other part yelled at me not to look, against my better judgment I peeked through parted fingers to find an enlarged bright moon staring in front of us and lights dotted the dark silhouette from below. I try to squirm out of the creature’s grasp as hard as possible, even if it means falling to my demise in a gory mess it was still a better alternative than what that thing had in store.

The creature laughs at my fruitless efforts and confidently said “No matter how far you or run to the ends of the Earth, I’ll always find you and back into my arms,”

That creature nuzzles into my hair and purrs in satisfaction at its catch, as I lay limp in exhaustion. My arms and head dangle in place, staring at the full moon, the only friend through this night and many others. The world gradually becomes darker and darker, struggling to keep them open until slumber overpowers my senses. I beg that the entire event is just a nightmare and wake up in a warm bed, but that wish never came true.