Does a hunter know the innocent
Beady eyes and bonnie bun
The quiver and wide of a feathered bed
Bounding down a honey run
Bless this bunch of bread crumbs
Help its beating heart
Paint its path to comfort
With a soft brush for the art
It does not hurt
Nor does it scare
It wouldn’t scream
It wouldn’t dare
Pet this pet
And, God, help this friend
Kill it fast
If it must reach an end

Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Ugh this is excellent! Not what I was expecting from the title
This is an interesting poem. I like that you took an unconventional approach to writing a poem about a bunny. The way you describe this bunny is something I haven't seen done very often. You initially reveal what you're writing about in the title, obscure it in the description: "Does a hunter know the innocent/Beady eyes and bonnie bun/The quiver and wide of a feathered bed/Bounding down a honey run/Bless this bunch of bread crumbs/Help its beating heart/Paint its path to comfort/With a soft brush for the art.
One thing to consider for future poems is to make them longer. I love what you have written, but find myself wanting more descriptions of the bunny between the first and last stanza. Overall, this is a good piece. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future.
Aughh your poetry is so, so interesting and great! There's this kind of "feral" quality to all the poems I've read so far that makes your writing style stand out so much!! I was also very intrigued by the poem being more bittersweet than I assumed your take on a poem revolving around bunnies would be like.
This is such an interesting way to describe a bunny. Probably has got to be one of the most unique descriptions of a bunny I've seen. To compare its softness to something human-made is quite interesting- but there's also still, in a sense, that "animalistic" quality to the description because of "feathered bed" (for me) reminds me of nests (and birds). To describe a rabbit's run as a "honey run" really gives emphasis on how a rabbit is prone to "slip" through and be too "sticky" (tricky) for hunters. Despite the sweeter term usage of "honey", the line still remains to have that chaotic edge to it due to the term "Bounding".
This quote "this bunch of bread crumbs" is an interesting way to describe a bunny!! It gives emphasis on its softness, but also how they're food for consumption! In contrast to the bunny's chaotic run from the hunter, here the speaker wants this bunny to be guided towards comfort.. which is just so, very sweet. Alongside the rhythm with "heart" and "art", I also generally found it interesting how art was tied into the poem, especially considering there was art attached to this poem!!
This ending is so, so bittersweet!! Just so simply great. The merciful nature expressed here is just so powerful!! Also, I really love the art!! It's so so cute.. the bunny's stance is so sillyyy and so cute!! Keep writing (and drawing)!!!
Thank you so much! I'm so happy you like my poetry! I'm also very happy the bittersweetness didn't disturb anything and that you like the art. Thank you so much, genuinely.
you're welcome!! of course, youre so talented! and dont worry... bittersweetness is always an interesting thing to play with in your works- i cant help but love it! you're welcome :>!!