Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Tuesday 24th June
6am - Bedroom
Yes. 6am. Not pm. Am.
6:01am
Just finished my morning yoga class.
6:02am
Well, stretching in bed counts. I was going to get up to do yoga. I promise.
6:03am
Am so tired. Want to go back to bed.
6:10am
Have accomplished a lot over weekend. A list in order here, for a full explanation, I think:
Texted John telling him not to worry about standing me up
He said he wasn’t worrying
I replied, inviting him out on Friday
He agreed.
I asked for him to text me when he’s there.
He consented.
Now for the plan: TO STAND HIM UP!
Am going to give him a taste of his own medicine.
It’s all very petty isn’t it? And in my loss of focus, I have completely forgotten about my own spiritual progress.
6:45am
Maybe I should abandon plan and just demand John give me the sweepstake money.
6:50am
Need a dude’s opinion.
8:15am
Just got off phone to Ben. Who was incidentally, not impressed I had woken him so early. However, he has given me great advice. So am now armed with “dude” thinking. Finally!
8:25am
I haven’t fully explained what I mean. So….
8:26am
Ben basically told me not to care. Quite simply. If a shallow dude is not interested in me for anything other than a cheap laugh, then I should not be interested in him full stop.
8:27am
It’s hard though. I thought he liked me.
10 seconds later
Must be resilient! The “no time for arseholes policy” that’s what Been called it. And that is the philosophy I am sticking to.
8:28am
Yup. Am assured dude now.
10pm – Bedroom
If I am learnt anything about this whole experience it is this: I am not a dude. Nor can I think like one. My original premise was a little naïve to explore, but it was worth the try. At least now I know I am condemned to be a woman. And I’m fine with that. I think.
10:15pm
Yes. I will walk around from now on, asserting my womaninity. Which I know is not a word.
10:16pm
But it is now, on Urban Dictionary.
10:17pm
So final adage is this:
Do not trust people called John Clements
Believe in the power of woman
Never try to think like the opposite gender.
10:20pm
Oh and finally…
Do not, under any circumstances wait around in the rain for three hours at your local cinema.
He. Isn’t. Worth it.
End of chapter
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To start off: I think you should still try to coordinate the tenses. At least make sure every entry is in the same type of tense.
Overall, it’s an interesting concept, and an easy read. Maybe smooth things out or elaborate here and there for better visualization and comprehension, but overall it made sense.
And I mean things like: “Have found self,” “Have just realised” might sound smoother without the have.
Or: “John is sat at” typo. If not typo, for whatever reason, just no, remove is. Same here: “If I am learnt.” No am, no matter what kind of effect you’re going for.
“there isn’t some cornflakes” - “Aren’t” or “Cornflake.”
“I waited for like… three hours!!” Showing up one hour early and waiting for three, seems a bit excessive. I’d reduce the time. Came 30 minutes early, waited an hour, seems reasonable. Also why in the rain? Isn’t there a place to hide? I meant places like here that elaboration with a sentence or two on settings would be good.
So I read all 4 parts. Entertaining read. And I think the ending was satisfying. Good job.
I really like how you formatted this. Rather than explaining things in long exaggerated paragraphs, you got straight to the point.
There are also a few minor grammar mistakes that you can easily change.
Have accomplished a lot over (INSERT THE) weekend.
A list in order here, for a full explanation, I think- maybe you could try and reword this?
The “no time for arseholes policy” that’s what Been called it.- Been should be "Ben"
If I am learnt anything about this whole experience it is this:- If I "have" learnt anything
This is a great piece and I love how you expressed how girls REALLY think, not just how they should react to certain situations.
Uni here for a short review!
Hahahahaha! I just love this every single one of the parts of this that I read! I love how everything she learns go straight to the Urban Dictionary... She has quite interesting characteristics; sassy, funny, confused. She doesn't really know what do in her life yet, I assume...
This is one of the most different sort of story then I have ever read, because it shows how the main character is thinking at certain periods of time, and if you look at the times, it is quite interesting for her to draw a conclusion on certain matters. For example: It took her about and hour and a half to figure out that she can't and shouldn't think like a guy... Funny stuff...
Do more of this! i love it!
~Uni