Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
Friday 20th June
5pm – Bedroom
Am horrified by prospect of date being dubbed: ‘Booty Call.’ It is disgraceful the way in which women are objectified in modern society.
5:01pm
Shall become feminist.
5:03pm
Wondering whether breasts look appealing in this dress?
5:04pm
Have realised irony. And hypocrisy. However, have also realised that my breasts did in fact, NOT, look big enough in their current state. Therefore, I have fiddled with the padding in my bra to try and make them look bigger.
5:10pm
Breasts look much better.
5:12pm
Am ready for booty call now.
7pm – Redford Cinema
Stood outside. Freezing cold. Early. By an hour!
7:15pm
Wondering how I managed this?
7:17pm
Ah yes, confused booty call time given by JC.
7:18pm
Why am I calling him JC now?
8pm
Soaked the bone now. Hope John likes the wet-breasted look. And the drowned rat hair look. And the panda-eyed mascara look. Pffft.
8:20pm
A true dude wouldn’t worry about any of that.
8:21pm
A true dude wouldn’t even know what mascara was!
10:30pm – Home
Am sad excuse for human being. Cannot believe I waited for like… three hours!!! In the rain. Freezing. Soaked. And John Clements was nowhere to be seen.
10:31pm
Am thoroughly ashamed of self.
Am complete fool.
11pm
Dry now. Had phone call with Ben. Explained everything.
11:30pm
Can hardly write for tears. It turns out… the booty call as a set up. John Clements was running a bet with his friend to see if I thought I had a chance with him. What a really sick boy he is.
11:35pm
Was clearly completely wrong. Overly hopeful and in summary: have been punked.
11:36pm
Yea. I’ve been on Urban Dictionary. Again.
11:40pm
Wonder if they write definitions for names?
11:42pm
Ha! They do indeed. A rather accurate description actually. Look:
John:- a young and attractive male with girls lining up to go out with him. Leads on the underdog whilst laughing at pictures of football mishaps and leaves her waiting outside Redford cinema for three hours. Is complete, hairy areshole.
11:50pm
Alright I confess. I am now a member of Urban Dictionary and wrote that definition myself.
11:51pm
Hence the startling accuracy.
11:52pm
Ok, ok. I am a sad, pathetic human being. I know.
11:54pm
Gives up. Goes to bed.
End of chapter
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139,050 Literary Works • 672,402 Reviews
I couldn't find a single thing to change in this part. Your grammar is all good. I, once again, love how you capture this inside of a young girl's mind. And your writing pattern and techniques are very consistent. That is hard to do! Please keep writing!!!
I love you. I love your work.
O.O Fanks. XD I love you too.
Awwww, I can relate to this part so much.
I feel so sorry for your character. :/
Thanks for tricking me XD I honestly thought he was going to be quite nice. Oh well, she deserves better and probably will find someone better.
I just...I just hate John! So much! I should have seen the signs early on too.
This part wasn't really funny, and that was probably your intention, but...dangit I feel sorry for your character. She waited 3 hours only to be stood up. Poo. XD Still, it had some humour, such as in this extract:
I like your references again to UD to lighten up the mood. However, this moment is very sad:
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Don't give up XD Fight the oppressive power of buttholes who make bets on pretty girls.
-hugs-
I am hoping the next part will see your character beating the daylights out of this John guy; probably not, but one can only hope.
Spoiler
LOL! This is funny! But it is also sad.... I noticed a few grammatical errors in here:
1) "Soaked the bone now" I believe you meant to say, "Soaked to the bone"
I thought there was one more, but now I can't find it... Hm... Maybe not.
I love how you did the time's and then explained. I also loved how she though. LOL. The whole Urban Dictionary thing... That was funny. But then again, I felt sorry for her... Mixed feelings...
Great job!