z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The life and Death of a Pet Flea.

by Remington38


     There once was a girl named Dede. She had an awesome pet flea. He was tiny, black, and hopped. Personally she thought he rocked. Those two were closer than two peas in a pod. She comes up with new names for him every day; todays is Todd. Yesterdays was Sir Fleaton and tomorrows will be Willy. Everyone thought that having a pet flea was stupid and silly, but Dede didn’t care. They played dress up and that was that. She was a princess and he was a fancy man with mustache and top hat. Once they played spies and he acted as her disguise. On her face he hid as a mole. Then they would solve the case of the killer cereal bowl. Their relationship was till death do they part. To find out how soon that was would break your heart. The only issue was Dede wasn’t careful to watch. Especially during their matches of hopscotch. During a very particular match she got a bad hunch, when she heard the faintest sound of a crunch. Underneath her shoe was the poor flea. Who now was stuck with the name Henry. His funeral was nice and he was buried under a tree. She was sad until she spotted a nice bee.

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54 Reviews

Points: 529
Reviews: 54

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Mon Jul 11, 2016 1:55 am
postmalone wrote a review...



hahahahahahahahahahah

*regains self* hilarious read! A must-read for some entertainment and wonderfully thrilling story of a girl who's best friend is that of a flea. I have five cats, and let me tell you that fleas in the house are MONSTERS. But this one seems so innocent!

The last line caught me and I really want you to add to this!! Please do! Yes, I am 14 but there is still a teensy but of child in my heart for enlightening works such as this.

I am now following you. Heh, not in real life, but on the website! This is a great poem, though the rhyming wasn't exactly Dr. Seuss, it passes with flying colors (or fleas) in my book.

:) thanks for posting! I enjoyed this!!

New friend of the fleas and the bes and the Remington38,

~ Freak




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Points: 76
Reviews: 8

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Fri Jul 08, 2016 1:34 pm
NoirChocolat wrote a review...



The first thing that came to my mind is the question, "How can you be friends with a flea?" But who cares? It really lived up to being a humorous work, although it was light one.

I think, instead of Other, it should've been included in Poetry. Follow Jyva's good advice and you're ready to go. There wasn't any errors for me. For a poem, the thought flowed really well, so that's a thumbs up. Looking forward to your other future works, or poems (and maybe try something humorous again, because this one's good. :) )

Hugs&Sweets
Noir Chocolat




Remington38 says...


Thank you so much! I was definitely unsure how to format it being poem like but it is hopefully in the works of being a kids picture book. Thanks again.



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48 Reviews

Points: 7
Reviews: 48

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Thu Jul 07, 2016 10:14 am
Jyva says...



short, cute little poem - until the ending. :P

i think you should format this thing properly, so it isn't one chunk of text, and sort it into stanzas.

>Their relationship was till death do they part.

the phrasing of this particular bit is fairly shoddy.




Remington38 says...


Okie dokie thank you so much for your input.!
:)




Go in fear of abstractions.
— Ezra Pound