Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

Dear Upstairs Neighbor

by Remington38

Dear upstairs neighbor:

Hello from the monster under your bed.

I am here to clear up some wrong things about me that've been said.

No, I don't eat children on my toast or in my spaghetti.

So you can relax, party and break out the confetti.

Why eat children when parents have a very good taste.

They're delicious and tender and too good to waste!

Another lie you've been told: I don't scare children it's a waste of my time.

All you constantly do is scream and whine.

Would you like it if someone screamed at you

I am a sensitive soul and human too (we'll sort of)

Parents on the other hand aren't protected or tucked in.

And that's practically an invitation to come in.

Another matter since we're already talking.

It is about your constant running and stomping.

It moves around my furniture and makes it quite un neat.

So thank you for that and even better, my house smells of dirty feet.

Hey, I'm a monster. Don't judge what I like to smell.

It's quite inconvenient though your clothes everywhere that have fell.

This is so nice and we will have to do it again some day.

It's much better than when you would scream for me to go away.

Since we are neighbors we can do things like borrow each other's flour.

I bake lemon square a lot the ones that are sweet not sour.

Your friend,

The monster under your bed.


You can bring your parents over for lunch.

We can talk over something to munch.

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60 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 60

Fri Jun 10, 2016 8:40 pm
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Vex15 wrote a review...

Hey there! I loved reading your poem! This has powerful lines, humor, sarcasm, and great tone throughout. Though some may suggest stanzas, I found I could read it quite well.

You've done an excellent job of writing this poem. I highly recommend you try another, or get this published. Another tip to make the rhyming sound better is to read it out loud at the same speed. If you find yourself dragging on a line, cut out words or rephrase something.

Overall, I didn't notice any typos or grammatical mistakes. By the way, what @AliceAfternoon said in her review on this just cracks me up!! Haha have a fantabulous day!

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277 Reviews

Points: 1335
Reviews: 277

Wed Jun 08, 2016 6:26 am
Charm says...

haha way to terrify children xD now they'll e scared their parents will get eaten xD

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46 Reviews

Points: 61
Reviews: 46

Tue Jun 07, 2016 11:42 pm
thecolorofthesky wrote a review...

This is absolutely fabulous! I adore the concept of this story. The rhyming and phrasing really works well for and audience of children. When I got into reading it I could just envision the story being read in a classroom. Really the only critiques I have are in punctuation and a few spelling errors. "(we'll sort of)" is just a auto-correct error. A few of the questions need question marks. I would add a exclamation point after "Hey, I'm a monster". The story is great, a few technical things need a little fixing is all! Thank you for the wonderful read!

In the winter months, snowstorms and rainfall in the Patagonian Ice Fields can drastically affect the landscape. Worsened by heavy winds, such storms can reduce visibility and lead to glacial calving, ice collapses, and avalanches. During these conditions, travel is not advised.
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