The Dinosaur community was that of a very divided bunch.
Only carnivores would talk to other carnivores and usually over their very meaty lunch.
Mr. Bitey Pants was a T-Rex with a bow tie and class.
When others offered to share their lunch, he would often times pass.
Personally he wasn't a big fan of any types of meats.
He would much rather have a good salad or a least some tasty beets.
When others were named Skin Slurper and human dicer.
He like Mr. Bites Pants and though it sounds nicer.
He went to the Dino Diner and ordered an leafy lasagna when others would order a stegosaurus steak.
The velociraptors in the table next to him saw and tried to get him to eat a Brontosaurus bake.
He ignored them and continued to eat his food, not caring what they thought.
They would say it's against who he is, but it is not.
So he decided to join the Carnivores That Eat Vegetables support group.
He met a vegan Velociraptor who got mocked for eating a fish free soup.
He was happy because there were other Dinosaurs like him.
Here he knew he could be excepted without having to ever eat and animal limb.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi!
I really love this story. It's a funny concept, and an enjoyable read.
The only thing I would change are a few grammatical errors. For example: instead of "eat an animal limb," I would change the "and" to an "an." So, we'd have: "eat an animal limb."
Other than that, it was good. It was funny, too!
This was defiantly an interesting story about a dinosaur. But mostly it was defiantly funny and entertaining to read. I also really liked how you got some of the lines to rhyme, it made it seem more like a poem as well. Now, I did see a few typos in this piece that are very easy to fix. They're just little mistakes that are very easy to notice. First off, when you said:
"He went to the Dino Diner and ordered (an) leafy lasagna when others would order a stegosaurus steak." You shouldn't of put an "an" between ordered and leafy. "An" is only used if the next word starts with the letter of a vowel. A, E, I, O, U. And I know that L is not a vowel. But, that's honestly an easy fix. Another tiny mistake that I noticed was in the last sentence in your post, when you said:
"Here he knew he could be excepted without having to ever eat (and) animal limb." This made absolutely no sense once so ever. I think that when you wrote it you meant "an" but you probably accidently wrote "and". Which again is a common mistake, and an easy fix. Other than those two typos, I would say that the rest is fine. It makes a really good and humorous kid's short story book. Keep writing, and never stop.
Hi there! I'm don't usually write stories but I have a few comments. First off, I really enjoy the concept of this story, especially that its aimed for kids. I feel like this could be developed to be longer. This has alot of potential for plot and character development. I would love to see this turned into a full story. There are a few grammatical errors that need fixing. Capitalization of "Human Dicer" and the revision of the line "He like Mr. Bites Pants and though it sounds nicer." should be executed. Also keep in mind the repetition of "he" throughout the story. I definitely recommend going over the story once more for grammar and punctuation. The concept is very intriguing and would work well if you decide to expand it.
Nice job!