Nothing to see here
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This takes me back
My college was on the river too (Saint Mary's River), but our dorms were very different. Some were co-ed, but I, fortunately enough (or maybe unfortunately?), got the all boys dorm. I say fortunately because everything freshmen do at Saint Mary's centers around the all boys dorm. I say unfortunately because it was very smelly and very dirty.
Some rooms were larger than others, but most were about the same size. There were two common bathrooms on each floor, and there were two people to a room. I think my favorite moment of all in college was meeting my roommate. Here I am, coming from all white Montgomery County in Maryland with my polo shirt and good ole golfing shorts with white sneakers and socks you can just barely see, and then there was my roommate. The guy looked like total white trash with messy hair, jeans five sizes too big, and holes everywhere in those jeans. As soon as his parents left, the first question he asked me was, "Do you smoke pot?"
But, we got along great. We really didn't have a thing in common, but we're both really easy going people, and I think that's why we got along so well as roommates. It was always cool having pompous college arguments about how best to save the environment at 2 a.m. in the morning while we played Super Smash Brothers.
ANYHOW, away from the nostalgia. I really like how you're writing this; you've chosen a great style for this piece of work, and I think it really works. One of the things I was worried about after reading the first chapter, though I didn't mention it since it wasn't a problem at that time, was that this work would turn into some cheesy piece of work, kind of like Life of Pi or a Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. But, it looks like you have neatly avoided that and instead created something that is very engaging and still has that humor bent.
I'm looking forward to seeing how this turns out.
Basically, my main comment is to put numbers in your titles if you're going to post them separately or else you'll confuse me. And that's bad.
Also, look through and get rid of evil typos. They're a little tricky because not all of them can be found by word processsors, but your human brain is much smarter than them, so ha!
Never talk about the next chapters... just lead us through the story nice and gently. We'll get there when we get there.
And otherwise, I enjoyed it. It was better than your beginning, in any case. But that's cool.