Hey just a note before reading. I'd prefer that you wouldn't critique the script on the format. I know how to format a script, but sometimes it doesn't translate well when pasting. I'd prefer comments on grammar, story, and characters. Thank you.
INT. Olivia 's BEDROOM - DAY
We see the back of a girl's head. Slim, manicured hands grab the long hair. They try to separate the hair into four parts but struggle as the hair is messy and unmanageable, so one hand leaves the frame and returns with a hairbrush
The brush combs through the hair but hits a knot.
KRISTEN
Ooch!
We see OLIVIA ,17, prim, organized, and a bit of a control freak. She braidd her sister’s hair. KRISTEN, 14, sassy, spunky, and rebellious, htsnd back to feel her head, regretting leaving her hair in her sister's hands.
OLIVIA
Sorry, didn't think that would hurt.
Olivia pushes Kristen's hand back.
OLIVIA
Don't worry, Krissy, I'll make it look great.
Kristen resigns and hunches back down, focusing her attention to her phone.
Olivia wants to fill the silence, opening but closing her mouth at each attempt to connect with her, sister, who's on her phone. Olivia finally asks:
OLIVIA
So, how are you and Nicole? Does she still need help with science?
KRISTEN
We haven't been friend for months.
OLIVIA
(embarrassed she didn't know this)
Oh, yeah...right. Who are you friends with now?
KRISTEN
Riley.
OLIVIA
Oh, Riley Fitzgerald...
KRISTEN
What's wrong with her?
OLIVIA
(Lying)
Nothing...
Awkward silence.
OLIVIA
Are you excited for mom's play?
KRISTEN
I guess, but I don't get why we have to go to some other high school play. She's just the director.
OLIVIA
This is the first one she'll direct for that school. We have to support her.
KRISTEN
(skeptical)
Okay...
OLIVIA
We can go as a family. You, me, and dad.
KRISTEN
You know dad. He'd rather see woman dance rather than underage girls.
OLIIVIA
Kristen!
Olivia pulls on Kristen's hair on accident.
KRISTEN
Ow!
OLIVIA
Sorry, but really Kristen?
KRISTEN
You know it's true.
OLIVIA
Well, anyway. I overheard dad's meeting got cancelled this Friday. We can go that day.
KRISTEN
I don't think dad want to go especially for mom's sake.
OLIVIA
I know things have been tense, but we can still have fun. Beside mom and dad will be on other sides of the curtain.
KRISTEN
(mutters)
They should be on other sides of the world
OLIVIA
Don't exaggerate.
KRISTEN
I wish I was.
OLIVIA
I'll get dad to come. It will be fun. The theatre pogram is excellant there.
KRISTEN
(to herself)
Oh, boy.
We see Kristen's braid. The braid is messy as the hair just doesn't seem like it wants to cooperate. Olivia undoes it. Olivia sighs.
KRISTEN
(annoyed)
What's wrong?
OLIVIA
It didn't look right. You're hair's not cooperating and I don't think the parts were—
KRISTEN
(groaning)
—Olivia, it doesn't have to be perfect.
OLIVIA
Too late now.
Kristen sighs. After Olivia restarts the braid, Kristen gets a text. Excited by the notification, she abruptly grabs it, causing Olivia to let go of Kristen hair. This ruins the briad.
OLIVIA
Kristen!
Kristen gets a text from Riley.
RILEY'S TEXT
I heard Josh really like Orange is the New Black (or any other inappropriate show for a preteen). Finish the season and you guys and talk about it. ;).
Kristen's face fills with giddy. She hops out of bed excited.
OLIVIA
Whoa, Kristen, what's the alarm?
KRISTEN
Oh, uh, I forgot a...thing. We can do braiding later.
Kristen back away toward the door.
OLIVIA
That's what you said a month ago. What is it that's so important?
(hurt)
KRISTEN
It's...uh...a show has released a new season and I want to watch it now.
OLIVIA
We can watch it together.
Olivia goes to look for her laptop.
OLIVIA
What's the show?
KRISTEN
Orange is the New Black
OLIVIA
Isn't that really inappropriate? I don't think you should be watching that.
KRISTEN
It's fine. Riley watches it.
OLIVIA
(mutters)
Of course Riley.
Kristen
What's you're problem with Riley? What do you even know about her?
OLIVIA
Just trust me. Don't hang out with girls like Riley.
KRISTEN
Geeze, Olivia, what else?
(mocking tone)
Don't eat too much candy. Don't stay up past you're bedtime. Don't go in a 40 foot radius of boys. Don't have a life.
Olivia
I'm not say that—
KRISTEN
You're saying everything else, though. Stop telling me what to do and making me go on awkward family outings.
Kristen untangles the progression of the braid by raking her hand through her hair quickly and storms off.
OLIVA
Kristen, wait.
Kristen blocks her ears with her hands.
Kristen makes it to her room, and before Olivia can reach her, the door slams in her face.
Silence once again.
Then shouting from downstairs.
MOM
(angry)
Get back here.
DAD
(angry)
Katherine, I'm not one of your high school student that will do whatever you say.
MOM
(warning)
Henry.
DAD
You know what. No. I can't do this anymore.
A door opens and slams. Mom sighs and stomps off.
Olivia leans against the wall and slides down, unwilling to move. She buries her face in her knees.
INT. HALL - DAY - WEEK LATER
Olivia is walking down the hall. She goes past Kristen's room. Kristen's door is open.
Olivia peeks inside.
INT. KRISTEN'S BEDROOM - DAY - continuous
Kristen is on her bed listening to music.
Kristen sees Olivia peeking in. Olivia tries to pretend like she wasn't checking up on, but Kristen sees Olivia in the doorway.
Kristen
Hey.
Olivia
Hey.
Awkward silence.
Olivia
Um, do you think we'll see mom more or dad?
Kristen
(sadly)
It's too early to know.
Olivia
Yeah, if it's based on closeness probably mom but money dad.
Awkward silence.
OLIVIA
.Well, I uh will see later. Olivia walks away, but Kristen calls to her.
KRISTEN
(sitting up)
Hey, can braid my hair?
Olivia reappears in the doorway. Kristen sits up and Olivia gets on the bed behind her and grabs Kristen's hair again, which is combed.
Olivia
There's this new type of braid I want to try.
KRISTEN
Sounds good.
Close up as Olivia braids her hair with two parts, and the braid is really coming together.
Also if you have better ideas for a title, suggest away.
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