Chapter 2: Snow Valley

by ReadyRandomRabbit

Published October 26, 2024

In Scarlet Wings

When telling a story, it is best to start at the beginning. I lived in a world of magic, and wonderous technology, letting the creatures of that world live long and fruitful lives. My story begins in this world, hidden by snowy mountains, tucked away from the outside world, in a valley unknown to many, in a village called Snow Valley. It was called this, because it was hidden away by our snowy winters. It was always very welcoming to those who came, especially those who came by often, and refugees looking for a place to stay. The village was home to many creatures but was run mainly by Rabbits and Winged Rabbits alike. Everyone knew everyone, and the whole village was built around trust. There were tinkers and traders that came by and were well known by everyone, meaning they would be welcomed with open arms. This village was home to many, even me.

My mother, Lua, was a winged rabbit, and captain of the guard at the time. That being said, everyone knew her, and she was a great fighter, the best in the village. So, when I was born during the third moon of the spring season, everyone in the village knew. I was a tan rabbit, with brown along my paws and ears with blue eyes, all traits I shared with my mother. Because my mother and grandfather were captains of the guards, I was expected to take their place one day. To be as great as them, no, I was expected to be better. I was named Alice in hopes that I would be as noble as my mother. I wouldn’t know the pressure and expectations until much later in my life.

Fast forward about three years, and you would see me playing with the other bunnies, and children around my age. Sometimes we would get into fights, but none of them were that bad. My mother would scold me for reckless fighting, while my father would laugh and praise me for winning. At the time, I was too young to start training, but I was a determined little bunny who didn’t like to be taken lightly. I would use anything and everything to my advantage. I did bite an older kid, but he said that he was going to be the best, and I didn’t like that. My mother was the best and no one was going to surpass her, especially not a kid like him. I got scolded that night, but it was totally worth it, and I was proud of myself. I was only three years old at the time, so it really did feel like an accomplishment since he was older by a year.

During the autumn season later that year, my younger sister Ellie was born. I couldn’t have been more excited to become an older sister, we could play together, train, learn, and of course, be best friends! Though, we wouldn’t be able to do much together, as I overheard my parents and the doctor that night and found out that Ellie was born with a weak body. She would never be able to fly like all the other winged rabbits. She wouldn’t be able to do anything too straining or exerting, like training or playing. I was sad, I loved my sister, and I wanted her to experience all the wonders that our village had to offer. She was like a small flower that I wanted to protect. After that, I was determined to keep my sister out of any danger, and that I would protect her when I became a village guard. I would protect her either way though, I didn’t think I could ever let anything harm her.

It was a tough winter that year. With Ellie being a baby, and the cold of the season, we worried for her. It was cold and cloudy for the most part, luckily not much snow fell. I was a bit sad, because I loved playing in the snow with my friends, but it also meant that it was a warmer year. Even though we were careful, Ellie still got sick as the spring season started. Father stayed home to look after her while mother worked back at her post. I of course stayed home as well to protect my sister. I would need all the practice that I could get if I wanted to be like my mother. Though learning how to read was something I didn’t expect at first, I eventually found it to be useful. There weren’t many books in our village, and most of them were about plants and trade. We didn’t have much interaction with the world outside of the mountains, which kept us safe and unknown, except for the tinkers and traders that would come by. There weren’t any books about the outside world, and any books that are bought from travelers had to be approved.

I didn’t have much to do during the time I stayed and watched Ellie with my father. I did end up reading one of the two books that I had found in our home. Sometimes I read out loud to my sister, practicing the big and complicated words that could have been shorter in my opinion. It was frustrating at times, but I was determined to be better than the other kids my age. I had to be better than all the other kids my age, especially him.

Dylan was only three seasons older than me, but that didn’t give him the right to be boasting about how he would eventually surpass my mother. He was so full of himself that it made me want to show him that he in fact wasn’t the best. I mean, there was no way he would become a better guardian than me, I already took him down! Though it did give me an awful scolding from my mother, because I bit him. Everyone already knew I would be one of the best, just like my mother and grandfather before me. Some of the older villagers would say that my mother was just like me at my age.

For whatever reason, I decided to read the whole book twice as practice. I think that I just liked turning the pages at the time, as I couldn’t understand most of the book, but I did learn some information from it. By the day the third moon came around, I had read at least to the middle of the book again. There were only two books that were in the house, and they were hardly very interesting, but I still read them. I didn’t really find the books very interesting, but I did like the one about flowers. It had drawings of what they looked like, though, it was all in ink. The book wrote about a flower that glows in the dark, and one that turned different colors. There were drawings of the flowers on their respected pages, but I wished that I could see them in person, sadly none of the flowers I really wanted to see grew near the village. Truthfully, I wished that they did, it would be nice to see one in person one day. I knew that would never happen though, no one leaves the village, especially the ones who guard it.

My birthday had crept up before I knew it, and I was finally four years old. I could finally start training and learn to fight! Well, I already knew how to fight, but it would be nice to learn how to fight properly, to protect my sister. I would be able to protect my sister even better when I become the best. There’s no way I’d let someone like Dylan be better than me, and mother said that she’d train me herself when I’m old enough. My mother is still the best in our village, meaning that I’ll be trained by the best, so there’s no way that I wouldn’t be excited when mother got home. She didn’t say anything about training, but I really did hope that she’d let me start this year. I really wanted to become as great as her, maybe even better!

Supper was full of laughs and giggles, we even had candied carrots with our meal. It’s not something we eat all the time, yet it’s one of my favorites, and I love them. After supper, I had to get ready for bed, as it was getting late. Mother ushered me towards my room, but before I went in, she gave me a wrapped box and said, “Training starts right after breakfast as soon as the summer season begins.” With that she gave me a peck on the head and wished me good night. I was so excited! I don’t even know how to explain it. Mother was finally letting me train like a few of the other kids! I couldn’t wait to rub it in Dylan’s face that I could not only read, but was an apprentice just like him.

I was so happy that I just couldn't sleep. The summer season was only a few days away, and I started as soon as it started. I couldn’t wait for mother to teach me all the cool moves and tricks that she knows, as well as how to fly. Oh, how I couldn’t wait to learn how to fly, it’s one of the only things that I couldn’t do yet. I eyed the gift mother gave me, as I hadn’t unwrapped it yet. I was planning on opening it in the morning, but I couldn’t sleep, and I was curious. Sitting up in my bed, I held the box watching it. It was long and not very wide, but it also wasn’t very tall. Unwrapping it, I found a rectangular box. The lid easily came off and inside I found a knife, but it wasn’t like any of the knives we used in the kitchen, it was like the ones that the guards would have on them. It was pretty and I couldn’t wait to learn how to use it.

Comments & reviews · 2
creeperfeverdreams wrote a review Review · Dec 23, 2024

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the malicious S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Alice tells the story of how she was trained to be a guard because of their mother and grandfather’s legacy, but Dylan likes to claim that he will be the best. Alice doesn’t take lightly to that and so she works tirelessly to become something more than what they are. But not everything can be okay all the time, right?

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I feel like the part about the gift her mother gave Alice came so quickly, I think there should be more reference to it, but if you disagree, then that is fine too.

Chocolate Bar - I love the whole thing with Alice and Dylan, I’m really excited to see more of their dynamic. I also found it very interesting how in the beginning, Alice states that no one will be better than her mother because their mother is the best, but then that changes sometime later when she says that they’re excited to possibly become better than her mother. I wonder how this will affect them in the future and get her to the weird dimension that they are in now.

Closing Graham Cracker - Everything seemed alright up in the Snow Valley, but I’ve got a feeling that there are secrets hidden far away, dark secrets that have led Alice to the spooky place that she is in now. Will they ever find a way out or are they doomed to be trapped forever? Does her mother have anything to do with the dimension? Will Dylan possibly make his return? There is only one more chapter to read and then I must wait for the adventure to continue…

I wish you a delightful day/night! ^v^

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HoliBanana Review
HoliBanana wrote a review Review · Oct 28, 2024

Im not sure if the start was a joke or not XD but, I noticed you kept repeating yourself in the beginning - "My story begins in this world, hidden by **snowy mountains**, tucked away from the outside world, in a **valley** unknown to many, where a small **village** lay. This **village** was called Snow Valley, because it was hidden away in a **valley** surrounded by **snowy mountains**."

I know it is meant to emphasize the place the name came from, a village from in a valley, but, the constant repeat of words makes it sound funky. Maybe change some bits so it is smoother, but overall I see what you where trying to do.

I love how you add human emotions and make the rabbits as human like as they are. I find it kind of hilarious thinking of fighting rabbits, and rabbits reading books. I also love how the rivalry between Alice and Dylan, it adds something to focus on in this place. I also love how you implemented rabbit parts to the characters too, like how they live (hard winters and love hotter environments). Although you did add some rabbit parts to the story, I think it still lacks characteristics of rabbits. I'm no rabbit expert but they feel too human. Maybe add a little extra to make them a little more natural, but that is just my opinion.

Back to the story, I like how you gave Alice a mission, becoming the best, not only to be the nuber 1, and to beat Dylan, but also to protect her sister. That makes the main character be more noble and likeable. Overall, I'd love to see how it keeps going!

Yeah... I see what you mean in that first bit..
haha...
As for your other concern about them feeling too human, they are kind of like Puss in Boots and Kitty Soft Paws. I hope that's understandable.

Ahh, makes sense :) Ut is awesome tho, don't get me wrong. I'd love to see the rest of the story.



We all share half a braincell that bounces like a windows screensaver
— WeepingWisteria