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16+ Violence Mature Content

The Night-time Show.

by RazzleDazzle


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

I can feel you watching. Hunting me. Have you learnt good dogs don't bite? It's time I show you the truth. You think you're so stealthy, hiding in the bushes, biding your time.

Why don't I give you a nice show?

What if I accidentally forget to close the curtains while I shower? There's a nice large tree for you to hide behind. What if I take off my shirt nice and slow for you? I can feel your gaze on me, I can taste your hunger in the air. Do you like the look of my scars? The little lines down my arms? I'll peel the band-aids off just for you, maybe when you finally grow some balls you'll break in and take them off me yourself. Maybe you'll leave some more. Would you kiss them better afterwards, or would you pry your fingers inside and tear my flesh a little more?

It's so unfair, you watch me, and yet I know nothing of you. You'd better not let me down. I expect great things of you. I want my death to be at your hands, after all. You'd better make it worthwhile. Will you say pretty things at the funeral? Will you even go? The speech better be as pretty as my screaming will be, maybe you could even play a recording of it for everyone. I would love to see their faces when they realise it's what I wanted.

Every waking hour you're on my mind, and I know I am on yours, too. You think you're slick, but I know exactly how much you want this. Planning every last detail. I wonder if you know I see you? Your beautiful eyes in the shadows, cutting through the darkness, cutting through my flesh. My body is ready for you, I just need you to come take me -- to my grave, that is. Will you leave a pretty bouquet? Blood-red roses, just for me? Or maybe something withered and rotten is a better fit. I have a gift for you, too. I've been collecting every stray hair of mine that falls from my body. No, not my head hair. It's in a darling little jar that I'll swallow for you, and then you can slice it out of me! What fun!

The warmth of the water feels cold on my skin, how could I ever feel warm when I'm not in your grasp? When my blood is on the inside of my body? Will you bathe in it with me, perhaps? Hold my corpse tight, sink those darling teeth inside my throat and tear it out? Will you wash my hair, massage my blood into my skin? How romantic of you! You really know how to make a man swoon. I'd say I would blush, but it will be a little hard, so you will have to paint it on me with my own blood, right on my soft cheeks. Maybe you should give them a little kiss while you're at it, and tell my body how good I feel in death. If only I could hold on to hear it.

Will you kiss me as I finally cross through into the afterlife, or will you bite through my bottom lip? Is there even an afterlife for me? No heaven will be as good as your love feels.

Do you like my little show? Are you hungry for dinner? I'll walk naked through the house and lay on the dining table for you, and I'll call out to my pup. It's dinner time, come be a good boy and eat up, otherwise it might get cold. Don't disappoint me again. For the past week, I've left all my doors and windows unlocked, but you still haven't come. I'm heartbroken, really. Do you need a written invitation or a big neon sign? How dense are you! Do you enjoy teasing me, or are you truly just too afraid to go through with it?

Maybe all my pinning was for nothing. Maybe I'll have to teach you a lesson. I'll crawl up into the attic, I hope the spiders like the view of me, and out will come my favourite tool. No, no, don't you dare try to run now. You'll learn what happens to people who lead me on. It's not like anyone will miss you, I will only ever miss what I wanted you to be anyway. Such a waste. Cover your ears, and keep your eyes wide open, you're lucky I'm giving you such a beautiful last scene, you hardly even deserve that.

What a mess you've left for me. I'll have to hose off your brains from my driveway now. How inconsiderate. You could have at the very least fallen onto the grass. Give me a look at your body - is that my name in your chest? What neat carving. I'll frame it on my wall! Thank you for this parting gift, pup, I'll cherish it forever. And don't fret, I can still feel you looking up at me from hell. Why don't I give you another show?


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Sun Jun 09, 2024 7:00 pm
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RavenAkuma wrote a review...



Hello, My Friend!

Pleasure to meet you! I am Raven, and I’d like to review this short story using my Familiar method today! It’s pretty much the YWS’more method with the touch of a fantasy-horror writer. Let’s dive in, shall we? Heh heh heh…

What The Black Eyes See...

Ah, this story was extremely creepy as I would hope a good horror story would be, but it had so many elements that set it apart from the norm, even within this genre! Let's get into the details though.

Where The Dagger Points...

I honestly couldn't think of any recommendations to make! Good writing job ~

Why The Grin Widened...

The unusual opening of this story:

I can feel you watching. Hunting me. Have you learnt good dogs don't bite? It's time I show you the truth. You think you're so stealthy, hiding in the bushes, biding your time.

Why don't I give you a nice show?


It immediately sets a very eerie tone, and it's scary, but in a more realistic sense of horror rather than the usual monster-ghost method (not that there's anything wrong with a good cryptid story, heh heh). I don't see a lot of people taking on stories like this in the horror genre anymore, so it made me excited.

Those creepy questions about the stalker outside, and the "show" they could put on, immediately reveal a twisted narrative, and more than anything, the question about scars caught my attention.

Maybe you'll leave some more. Would you kiss them better afterwards, or would you pry your fingers inside and tear my flesh a little more?


So dark, and gives the initial impression that something about this narrator is...quite off. And the next paragraph deepens this assumption...

I want my death to be at your hands, after all. You'd better make it worthwhile. Will you say pretty things at the funeral? Will you even go? The speech better be as pretty as my screaming will be, maybe you could even play a recording of it for everyone. I would love to see their faces when they realise it's what I wanted.


Oooo, now that's morbid. Wanting a death at the hands of a creep lurking in the shadows? Savoring the idea of their own funeral and the shock of others? There is something incredibly unsettling about all of this, again giving a different feeling of horror than the typical sub-genres.

It's in a darling little jar that I'll swallow for you, and then you can slice it out of me! What fun!


And now disembowelment is part of the equation...Huh. Interesting, lol.

Is there even an afterlife for me? No heaven will be as good as your love feels.


The interesting question and quip that makes you wonder about the purpose, and what led the narrator to this point. Enough desperation, enough loneliness, enough misery? A combination? Something dark that they were born with, so they just can't shake it off? So many possible questions to ask here...

No, no, don't you dare try to run now. You'll learn what happens to people who lead me on. It's not like anyone will miss you, I will only ever miss what I wanted you to be anyway. Such a waste. Cover your ears, and keep your eyes wide open, you're lucky I'm giving you such a beautiful last scene, you hardly even deserve that.


Ooooo, the change in tone here was so revealing and creepy! It proves that the narrator themself isn't just a victim (or wants to be a victim), they have skeletons of their own in the closet...or the attic, technically, haha. And such a convoluted, but very different motive! What a twist that was, and how grim ~

And finally...

What a mess you've left for me. I'll have to hose off your brains from my driveway now. How inconsiderate. You could have at the very least fallen onto the grass. Give me a look at your body - is that my name in your chest? What neat carving. I'll frame it on my wall! Thank you for this parting gift, pup, I'll cherish it forever. And don't fret, I can still feel you looking up at me from hell. Why don't I give you another show?
[/quote]

What an ending! The perfect grizzly touch to end this very different, very incredibly-executed horror piece. Those final two lines are enough to induce goosebumps!

Our Mad Thoughts...

Overall, that was an awesome example of your capabilities as a horror writer. Nicely done! :D

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RazzleDazzle says...


Thank you so much!!!



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Mon Feb 05, 2024 1:18 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the review?

Top Graham Cracker - The main character is being stalked by someone, but they want that someone to stop stalking them and just kill them already.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - There’s only one thing. The word I think you meant to use was “pining”. But if you didn’t want to use that, then it’s fine.

Chocolate Bar - I didn’t think I would find another work of yours that wasn’t beautifully haunting…but I was wrong. I really like how the character knows that they’re being stalked, but instead of calling the police, they want their stalker to kill them. It shows that maybe this person isn’t as innocent as everyone thought and I absolutely love it!

Closing Graham Cracker - A not so sweet short story of how someone longs for the touch of their watcher, only to be ignored and then lash out. This was a wild ride, but that’s why I enjoyed reading it. You did a fantastic job. :>

I wish you a fabulous day/night!




RazzleDazzle says...


<3 Thank you!!



vampricone6783 says...


You%u2019re welcome! :>




I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
— Leslie Knope