z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence

Bleed For Me.

by RazzleDazzle


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

Darling, come. Give me a taste.

Shh, shh, I know it hurts, but it won’t for much longer, I promise.

Don’t you trust me? Of course you do, when have I ever lied to you? I told you I would devour you, did I not?

Stop your crying darling, or I’ll cut out that pretty little tongue of yours, hm?

I can do more with it outside of your mouth than inside.

Would you like a glass of wine, darling? I would. Give me your wrist — I’m not asking.

Good, good boy. I’ll bandage it up all pretty when my glass is full, alright? Would you like a pretty coloured band-aid?

I have pink, blue - this one has little stars, how cute! Just like you. So very cute, I could just eat the rest of you now.

Of course, there’s no fun in that, I’d miss you far too much not to savour every last drop.

Should I eat your thigh or breast next? Or, say ‘No’ for neither.

Sorry, my love, but all that screaming and crying isn’t a ‘No’ is it? Use your words.

Oh, yes, my love you’re completely right, all you can do is scream without a tongue. I suppose I’ll have your thigh tonight.

I think I’ll crumb and fry it. I’d offer you a taste but… well. Don’t worry, your tongue will have a lovely taste of me later, if you’re good you can watch.

Goodness, you’re much lighter than you were a few days ago! Been on a diet or something? No, I know I’m not funny.

Do you like your view from the ground? What a convenient height you are, open wide my love. If I feel your teeth, they’ll be the next to go.

Or maybe I’ll carve them out now, I do love the warm, comforting feeling of your blood around me. What an interesting taste that will be when I finish.

I’m almost jealous, if only you had loved me enough to do this for me. I certainly would be much more appreciative than your being. All you do is cry.

How pathetic, I really thought you were the one for me, or that at least you’d love me enough to try. I guess I was wrong.

Do you remember the way you’d moan when I’d bite your neck? And then you’d beg me for more, but suddenly this is too much? Darling, you asked for this.

What an awful lover you have been. I love you enough to take such good care of your tender meat, and keep you alive in my loving grasp, and yet you still attack me.

Maybe I’ll punish you. Where has my knife gone? Oh, yes, your shoulder does make such a good knife block, doesn’t it. See, you were always worried you weren’t enough for me, yet look at you go! My darling is not only my every meal, my entertainment, my lover, but also my little knife block. So useful! I’m so proud of you, you’re finally applying yourself like your mother always said. You know, she’s not even looking for you. I doubt anyone knows you’re gone, to be honest my darling. You were quite the loner. You only ever had me, and now you will be mine until there’s none of you left. I can’t wait to feel that precious heart of yours passing through my intestines.

Close your eyes my love, it’s almost over, shh, shh. No one is coming to save you. I am all you’ve ever had.

Really? You’re going to go out crying like that? Goodness, are you my big strong lover or a baby? One last kiss, my love, let me suck the life out of you.

Just like that, close your eyes for the last time. Good, good. My beautiful boy. I’ll be looking up at you from hell.

Maybe I’ll serve the rest of you at your funeral. Blink if you don’t want that. Oh? No, your eyes are very wide, you must really want everyone to have a taste of you. My precious little doll, I’ll hold you close until you rot in my arms, I’ll keep that delicious body of yours safe from the world. You really are mine.

Come bleed for me, one last time darling. Fill my glass once more.

I almost miss your excessive crying, maybe I should have done this earlier. But God, do your intestines feel so good around me. So squishy and warm, I just adore the squelch they make with every thrust. What a beautiful boy you are, I can’t believe I waited this long. Maybe I’ll turn your skin into my own personal toy I can play with every time I miss you.

You’ll never believe what I got in the mail today, my love. An invitation to your funeral!

My, you’re looking awfully pale and thin. Your little skull is so adorable, I could just kiss it all day. It still tastes like you, too! What a treat. Would you like to be my plus one?

I’ll write the most beautiful speech, I promise. You know I love you, right? This is all for you. Everything I’ve done is for you. Why couldn’t you have just appreciated it?

Shit… Darling I’m so sorry. That’s a nasty fracture, right through your eye socket, too. Let me put a little band-aid on it, would you like pink, blue, or little stars?


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User avatar
5 Reviews


Points: 19
Reviews: 5

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Stickied -- Sat Feb 03, 2024 9:34 am
RazzleDazzle says...



Have a look at my other works for some different perspectives! Thank you <3




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17 Reviews


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Reviews: 17

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Tue Apr 02, 2024 6:23 pm
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angelinamar wrote a review...



Let me start by saying that this topic is extremely disturbing and not something that I am comfortable writing a review on. However, since it has been given as an assignment, I will try my best to convey my thoughts.

First of all, this piece of writing is very graphic and borders on glorifying violence and abuse. The way the speaker talks to their partner, using terms like 'darling' and 'my love' in such a twisted and sadistic manner, is unsettling. It paints a picture of a toxic and abusive relationship where the abuser justifies their actions by saying their partner loves them and trusts them.

The use of sarcasm and manipulation in the dialogue further adds to the unsettling nature of this piece. It's as if the abuser is enjoying the suffering of their partner and takes pleasure in their fear and pain. The mention of cutting out the partner's tongue and frying and crumb coating their body parts is deeply disturbing and shows a lack of empathy and morality.

It's disturbing to think that someone could enjoy causing pain and suffering to another person and even more disturbing to think that someone could enjoy it even more because they believe that their victim loves them. It shows a twisted and unhealthy mindset that only perpetuates violence and abuse.

The ending of the piece, where the abuser expresses jealousy towards their victim for not being able to love them enough to let them do this, only shows a complete lack of understanding and empathy towards the victim's pain and suffering. It's a chilling reminder of how abusers can manipulate and justify their actions by making their victims feel guilty or responsible for their abuse.

In conclusion, I find this piece extremely disturbing and glorifying of violence and abuse. The use of manipulation, sarcasm, and graphic imagery only adds to the unsettling nature of the writing. I urge the author to reconsider writing such content and instead use their talents to create stories that do not promote violence and abuse.

Thank you for this read. It was wonderful. I would like to see more from you! :)




RazzleDazzle says...


I%u2019m glad you enjoyed the read! Do keep in mind that it is all a *metaphor* : *allegory* and I%u2019m not actually promoting violence and abuse. It%u2019s definitely more of a poem which needs to be dug into than a story that can be read at face value. You said you were commenting on this for an assignment? I%u2019m curious as to what that%u2019s about!



angelinamar says...


I am so sorry that was an error and of course I don't mind!



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82 Reviews


Points: 923
Reviews: 82

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Tue Feb 06, 2024 10:09 pm
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Ley wrote a review...



Hello! :D Ley here to review this piece for you!

First impressions...

I've never read a horror poem or lyrical piece, so this was a first for me, and I enjoyed every second of it! I'm a 23 year old college student who loves books like Throne of Glass so this poem hit the perfect audience when it came to me! Lets get to the review!

When I was reading this I felt...

Scared, yet intrigued. It seemed like the victim liked being toyed with, being degraded and used. This is a major story trope, though, so I applaud you for adding that into this piece! The language you used was probably one of my favorite parts of this poem. I'll throw in an example below. XD

My favorite line/quote is...



Shit… Darling I’m so sorry. That’s a nasty fracture, right through your eye socket, too. Let me put a little band-aid on it, would you like pink, blue, or little stars?


I looooove this ending. It left me going 'wtf' and I adore that. You really made the reader understand that the victim is just being used. I enjoyed the ending more than anything! (Besides the tropes, of course)

Some things that could be improved are...

I would separate the paragraphs a little more. I understand it's meant to look like a story, or maybe a monologue? but I just think it'd look more aesthetically pleasing if you split it up a bit more. Other than that, I couldn't find any major issues grammatically! :D

Overall...

This was a frightening yet intriguing read. Thank you for sharing, and I can't wait to read more of your work! Happy Writing! <3

With Love,
Leya




RazzleDazzle says...


Thank you!! :D <3



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976 Reviews


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Reviews: 976

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Mon Jan 29, 2024 5:39 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the spooky S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - A romance poem already? Perfect start for February, the month of Valentine’s Day! It’s a romance poem, but…it’s a horror romance poem about someone eating their lover alive…

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - If you wanted to, you could write this poem from the perspective of the boy being eaten. Only if you wanted to, though.

Chocolate Bar - There was a lot about this poem that I liked, but I think I liked the part about the heart going through the person’s intestines, that was so creepy and unsettling…yet slightly sweet.

Closing Graham Cracker - A sickly saccharine poem of desire and yearning, all ending in a knot of blood and bones. I’ve liked reading this and I’m interested to see what else you’ll post. :>

I wish you a lovely day/night!




RazzleDazzle says...


Thank you!! <3 I talk about the victims POV in my other work "I Find Myself Agreeing" if you wanted to check that out! It's not as gorey, more of a psych-thriller ehe. Anyhow thank you again!





You%u2019re welcome and I will!




You're a hairy, wizard!
— EllieMae