Young Writers Society

I like this poem a lot. And nice visual, by the way. The only real complaint I have is that you repeated crumbling. It just seemed like a mistake, unless you wanted it there, I dunno. I would take the second crumbling out, though. Other than that, great job! It is so true how a simple structure like a lighthouse endures so much but yet still stays standing.

This poem is fantastic! In poetry, I believe we can still tell a story, but play with the words more and make someone thing. Poetry can also represent different things to different people. I saw you mentioned you were inspired by a song from your church. I think that's really cool you were able to bring that to a new meaning. To me, the poem represents someone's life. How it happened through the thick and thin yet the person never changed, like how the light house never moved. How also, the lighthouse was always there, how people leave a lasting impact with everything they do and everyone they meet in life. Again, poetry totally goes to show different meanings. I took out this perspective in my own way, but it was still connected to the point or place of your meaning and inspiration of the poem.

There is only one thing I would change. When I write poetry, I try to mix the meaning and details along with rhyming words. That's just how I usually go. Your poem was nevertheless fantastic in the format you had it though! I found myself reading in a poetry sort of pattern if you understand what I mean.

Again, I love your poem! It inspired me to write one too! I haven't published it yet, but when I do, I'd appreciate your time and review of it! Let me know if you have any ideas for me and I can try to think up some for you!

Oooh this is so cool! It was lovely! And I love how you cemented in the image with the words and the picture together. It was just so clear. The images create a whispering wind almost. "Sigh softly, wistfully, longing to be new again."

"Slowly it crumbleS away

Yet Still manageS to Stand tall and proud"

This is wonderful. I capitalized all the "s"s. It permeates the tone through the soft sounds.


"Like a queen in chess, determined to live through it all."

I found this to be very interesting. Not a chessplayer, but it's understandable for most people and it's apparent when one sees the picture at the bottom too.


"The lighthouSe StareS out at the lapping waveS and the breeZe

Seems to make it Sigh Softly, wiStfully, longing to be new again.

Yet the lighthouSe Slowly crumbleS away, getting older, getting Smaller,"

Again with the S sounds! It creates such continuity through the piece.


"Watching the years pass by, and the paint becomes chipped, the door-

Hinges rust, and the lighthouse stays where it is, never moving,"

I will say that the line break here is a little awkward.


"Never leaving its place on the hilltop, slowly crumbling to dust."

Lovely eerie ending. I can hear the waves crashing.

I was going to comment on the simplistic vocabulary here, but I think it actually works really well.

I am really happy I saw this poem. Thank you for sharing!
*the grey reality

P.S.
Sorry I wasn't much help in this review...