Yes I Am

Hey, yo, RainbowOfGayness! Stranger here on this wonderful THANKSGIVING day and I have a review for you!

I wasn't really a fan of this, to be honest. It's probably because of the subject matter and how you delivered it. No, I'm not homophobic, I completely support the LGBT+ community, but it's just how you deliver it that "ruins" it. This is somewhat a rant AND a review, so just bear with me. Let's get into it, shall we?

The thing you've probably heard the most is the you being everything at one. Being gay and lesbian at the same time would probably classify as bisexual or pansexual or any one of those. Those are two contradicting terms, so if you fixed that, then it would work.

The biggest problem I had with this is that there's nothing to this at all. We get it, you are a human too, but the way that it is portrayed, it makes it seem like you are making yourself out to be "different"/not human. Every person is equal, no one is different. There has been more and more supporters of the LGBT community as of late, so you know a good chunk would support you. Just because some people are against it doesn't mean you're different. If that makes sense.

This was basically just an "ACCEPT ME" poem, no poetic deepness to it at all.

Keep writing and stay groovy.

wooo gay people.

I wasn't a big fan of this.

The delivery and subject matter is nothing new. It lacks originality and something that makes the audience interested. We get it, you're different, great to now. This brought nothing new to the table and actually made me grunt when reading it. I would like to read something fresh instead of something redone in so many ways it's ridiculous. Maybe have some variation next time? That's the most I can say to help.

thanks.

Hey there Rainbow! Caterpickle just swooping down to catch a poem to review! (I got one!)

This poem was nice, quaint, and...well, that pretty much sums it up. It wasn't bad, writing-wise, but content-wise, it was a little lacking. I love the idea of you promoting your pride that you possess regarding your sexuality, but there are more influential ways of doing that! If you were to expand on the last three lines, by maybe, saying what feelings you have, or saying that you should have...I don't know, rights? I'm not very knowledgable in this area, but I just wanted to put my two cents in, because your poem was featured.

I'm going to stop here, because I've looked through the past reviews, and they say all the things that I thought of while reading your work. I think that this piece has great overall potential, but it needs just a few tweaks and turns!

Hope I didn't offend,
~Caterpickle~

Hi!

So, I am going to disagree with a bunch of previous reviewers on the whole, "Can you be four identities at once?" And that's because I've known a couple of very scared trans people who, while they were trying to sort out their identity, had no idea how to identify themselves verbally in the middle of that scary transition phase in which they were struggling to come out. One trans girl, in particular, identified herself as a "male lesbian" to me about ten years ago when she was still struggling with her gender identity... which was quite a confusing term for me at the time! So, I understand that sometimes the words don't come out right and can seem confusing, especially for the trans community when they try to explain that they can be queer as well as being trans. Which can often make the trans community unfairly targeted by the often transphobic queer community. (Though, I think things might be getting better for the trans community? Slightly?)

Still, you should be aware that your poem does come off a little bit clunky because of this since it seems either that you're just making a generic lgbt pride poem, or you're identifying with being gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender all at once. If it's a generic lgbt pride poem, it's kind of a boring poem because it doesn't really add anything... interesting or beautiful to the abundant lgbtqia poetry that there is.

If you're identifying yourself with being gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, you're missing out an awesome opportunity. There was one genderfluid poet on YWS who wrote this bizarre and wonderful poem about going back and forth on gender. (I've forgotten the name of the poet, though I think the name started with an I, and the poem... uh... if you know whom I'm talking about and you happen to be reading my review, feel free to comment with the work I'm talking about.) And it's possible that perhaps a trans person can be gay and lesbian and bisexual at the same time, especially since being gay and lesbian and bisexual all rely on a gender binary... and that's not necessarily the case with a trans person. So, it would be really interesting to see you poetically express this in some sort of crazy and wild way.

I do agree with many of the reviewers and think that it would be nice to put an individual touch to your poem. I would totally expand the "I am human" part and the "I have feelings" part in particular, because I think it's important that art expresses your innermost humanity and feelings, rather than just simply stating that you have them.

Anyway, hopefully that helps! Good luck!

First of all, I repeat Clevercogs- what you're ALL of them??

OK, I am ALL for LGBT+ pride and I think it's great that you're promoting it...
But this poem just doesn't have that much substance.
It doesn't have YOU in it. I've heard these words before!
Think about it this way: If you want people to see something in a new way, then phrase it in a new way. This isn't new. it isn't news. I want to be surprised. This is not surprising.

Welcome to YWS!!! I know I seemed harsh but it's actually a pretty great place here... come find me in the chat room sometime, I'm there a lot!! )
~Satira

I am completely against homosexuality and the LGBT community, although I support those who fight their inclination to it. Buuuut, putting that aside, allow me to give you a quick comment here?

This poem lacked anything to grab a readers attention or give them something to grasp. It lacked anything concrete to ground the reader. You told us what you were, that you were gay and proud, etc.. But, you didn't describe how. I didn't read this as poetry, which usually moves the soul and stimulates the senses. It fell flat on that score. Works that, while upset me because I'm against them, do capture the emotion poets strive for and also encourage those in your LGBT community are poems like this, which are emotional and give the reader a story and emotion to remember.

Just a quick note for you. c: Good luck in your writing~
~Timmy

Hey! Cello here!

Okay, (Like sherri) I'm agreeing with clogs on this one. In my mind this is less of a poem and more of an 'Instagram photo with a floral background and an inspiring quote posted on a LGBT account' with this poem being the inspiring quote. Posts like that are great and all but they're very... plain? Not the word I'm looking for but I'm sure you get the point. When you're writing poems, stories, or anything made specifically for reading it's good to have emotion. Emotion pulls the reader in, gets them attached and really gives the writing meaning. Without it, it's more of a saying than it is a work or art.
I love seeing pride things on this site (for I'm part of the community) but this wasn't one of my favorites. It conveyed a good message but it excluded a lot of people at the same time. (Pansexuals, aces, genderfluids, polysexuals- I could go on with a hundred more) Maybe add an umbrella term somewhere. "I am queer" or "I'm not straight, I'm not cis" Whatever works as long as it is more inclusive in the end.
Again, down to clogs, why did you capitalize the 'gay', 'lesbian', 'bisexual' and 'transgender'? Maybe you were trying to go with the LGBT thing but if that's the case, at LEAST put them in order.
I love seeing writers writing about things like this and I encourage you to keep up the good work.
Hope this helped a bit!
-ChocolateCello

Hey there Rainbow!!
I know there isn't much here to review, and cleverclogs went over most of everything I could, but here I am!
As a part of the LGBT+ community, and with a ridiculous amount of friends mixed in there too, I enjoyed the message you display with the poem. However, I have to agree with cleverclogs in that it's a bit... well I can't think of a mellow-enough word for it actually. It wasn't dull or emotionless, but it wasn't tear-inducing and awe-inspiring either. Still very good!! (I feel like I'm coming out harsh because text reviews make it so hard to convey emotion. Words are blunt with tone of voice 0_0)
Anyways, I for one appreciate the gesture of the poem, and the work that went into it. Sometimes the simplest messages display the best views, and it really is simply. The LGBT community is still perfectly reasonable and normal humans; seems hard for a lot of people to fully accept.
Great poem, and I hope you write more!!

Simple but brilliant. But then most things with great messages in life are simple. This was an awesome poem! Just wanted to let you know I read it and like it!

Hi, Rainbow! cleverclogs here for a review!

Quick grammar thing before I start: There should be a comma after every instance of "yes".

Being part of the LGBT community, I'm totally, 100% behind the message this poem is giving. Because of that, I'm always excited when I see works like this pop up, because yay! An expression of pride! However, I was somewhat disappointed in this poem's lack of... anything, really.

I think that this poem suffers from a lack of personality. As a reader, it feels like you're not writing it out of your heart. For instance, the narrator says,

Yes I am Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender.