The Realisation

This is definitely an intriguing read, mostly because I don't know. That's it. "I don't know" is the appeal of your story. Maybe this is really happening in some fantastical world (although it's unlikely because that doesn't seem like your style), or an inner struggle with change or adversity.

It seems to me like "The Realisation" is about you. But it's not your realization. It's my realization, and the next readers' realization and so on. This story is great because there's room for both you and the reader within it. We too can be staring into the water, looking through into something or someone once thought lost.

The only criticism that I'd have to give is that your resolution is weak. But there are pros and cons to that. Vagueness makes the story universal, but it also makes the resolution rather dissatisfying. You the writer have brought us to this point at the edge of the bridge. You are our pathfinder and you must lead us to our destination. You also choose the destination, and maybe that destination is at this lonely point at the edge of the bridge. It's truly your choice. I, personally, am a fan of closure, and this ending makes me itchy.

Great story! The best advice that I can give to you is to keep writing.

See mine (notes) and /*edits*/ below.

The soft, hushed, crunch of the damp, (too many adjectives) /*soft crunch of the*/ cold grass under my bare feet was the only sound that broke the ever too silent night. The freezing earth took hold of my soul and grounded me into place, right under the huge vibrantly sad (purple prose) /*full*/ moon. Like a disappointed parent looking down at their /*its*/ willful child/*,*/ it burned its freezing glare into my minds eye.

"Why?" I managed to croak out of my fear collapsed throat.

"Why, (no comma needed. If you're trying to add pause, you'd be better off using an ellipsis) did you leave me?" I scream/*ed*/ yet again with agony (redundant. The fact he/she is shedding tears will make his/her pain obvious) as the tears slowly traced down my cheeks/*,*/ baring my true face, exposing my flaws.

The trees around me groaned, /*branches snapping with the wind*/ the branches snapped with the awakening of the wind. It threw me off balance, pushing me down onto my knees. The scalding gust cleared my eyes of their unwanted tears. I came face to face with a tortured soul, pain and fear caging the wild free spirit that peaks from the insignificant little shine in the corner of its eyes. Out of their own will/*,*/ my fingers reached out to stroke the pale/*,*/ pink streaked cheek but as they made contact the image rippled with gentle waves.

"Do you see now? I never left you. You locked me away without even realizing because you are afraid of what society thinks of me. I'm buried within your soul/*. All*/ all you need is to set me free." The voice echoed inside my head, like a silent whisper/*. It*/ it melded into my bones/*,*/ sending chills down my spine.

It felt like an eternity had passed till the water settled and the face reappeared again. My face. The rising sun warmed my spirit and gave me courage, it all became clear. With a deep breath I summoned the strength to stand and defied the hands that gripped me down from below. I ignored the wind that threatened to push me aside/*,*/ and with pride I walked from the path in which I came. Only now, I smile, I let myself be happy and free.

Hey Shadow of Radiance =P
Just thought I'd pop by for a short comment; I would really like to see this story expanded! Your writing style is perfect for this piece, and all in all the words flow very nice, but it does seem a bit too fast paced. Maybe look into some symbolism?
Anyways, yeah =P
-FallWolf

Amazing descriptions!!!
I have some edits in mind that I feel would improve the piece even more!

my cheeks barring my true face, exposing my flaws.
my cheeks (baring) is what i think you mean

It threw me of balance,
(off)

And these are some suggestions
You locked me away without even realizing because you are afraid of what society thinks of me. I'm buried within your soul all you need is to set me free."
without even realizing because you are afraid, afraid of what (did you want to specify society, it might be more adaptable if you put 'others'?) society thinks of me... I'm buried within your soul, all you need is to set me free.

I hope you found these helpful!!! c:

It's AnarchyWolf here for an awkward review! Yay!

The description is brilliant. Like, really, really good. I could see the forest and feel the night. The personification of the trees,

"The trees around me groaned, the branches snapped with the awakening of the wind."

is a really nice touch. I'm going to put forward one thing that might have been deliberate/my mistake, but when you wrote:

"Do you see now? I never left you. You locked me away without even realizing because you are afraid of what society thinks of me. I'm buried within your soul all you need is to set me free" The voice echoed inside my head, like a silent whisper it melded into my bones sending chills down my spine.

Should there be some kind of punctuation like a comma or full stop at the end of the word 'free'?

There's really not much more I can critique - I'm not a good writer yet, and this is a very good piece of writing.

-AnarchyWolf

I thought this was very lovely. I can not only see the pain but I can feel it as well. It was beautifully written and the words were almost lyrical. you seem to know how and where to place words to make them fit perfectly to make everything coincide well with each other.

This may not be my places but I feel like this was written about a lost love of some sort maybe not even romantically. If I am right it was written in away that even I can understand and I have lost no one before.

Over all this is splendid and I hope to see more from you in the future. If you haven't already try poetry I think it would work wonderfully for you. Good luck!
-Zee

Hey RadiantShadow!

I absolutely loved this! Your description is amazing, I feel as if I am there experiencing everything. Your writing is some of the best I have ever seen.
'I ignored the wind that threathened to push me aside and with pride I walked from the path in which I came.' Beautiful line, the only problem is you misspelled one word. It should be 'threatened' you just added an unnecessary 'h', it was probably a typo. But that line was so powerful, I interpreted it as she was feeling so weak before that the wind could push her over but as she kept looking forward she was strong enough to overcome that feeling.

'The trees around me groaned, the branches snapped with the awakening of the wind.' I love the personification that you gave the trees. I know in some way they are alive but you don't hear trees groan. That was truly wonderful and a very gripping piece. If there is more to this I would love to read it! Keep writing!