This is beautiful. I love the way you maintained a rhythm without rhyme or any particular pattern. Every poem has a way of flowing, and yours is particularly interesting. I love how simple it is, how concise. You proved with this that you do not need a lot of words for a poem to be powerful.
I don't know whether this was intentional or not, but you end many phrases using onomatopoeia at the end of each line, but only in the beginning and end of the poem. I guess it could be a technique to represent the start and finish of the poem, but it's too short to be a circular-type poem. Other than that however, it is truly a gift. Thank you for writing this!
Write on!
~Lucy
Points: 151
Reviews: 24
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