Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Lyrical

E - Everyone

Blood

by Rachel32


We humans need blood in order to live, to survive,

We need it to flow strong for our bodies to thrive.

It carries the breath we take to each part of us,

It keeps our bodies in balance, and so, thus

It keeps us happy and safe, warm and kind,

But my blood is something of a strange find.

My blood is not composed of cells, red or white,

But of the words that flow from my heart when I write.

My fingers itch with the need to bleed my life onto the page,

The need to create, to imagine, to set the stage.

The words writhe and boil through each vein,

But why do I share them? I've seemingly nothing to gain.

No crowds await me, no trophies, nor riches.

But I know my reward: the words act as stitches,

The sutures that bind my soul and keep it intact.

So tell me: what have I to gain from this act

Of not knowing my place in life, when I belong here,

Upon this mountain of words I hold so dear?


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
58 Reviews


Points: 649
Reviews: 58

Donate
Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:38 pm
WhosabellCanWrite wrote a review...



Hi it's Izzy here for a review!

I am surprised not a lot of people have reviewed this, it is very good! A few mistakes here and there, but it is good!

I always feel like I have so many ideas in my head, then when I get to the point where I need to or want to write them down, I never get the same results in my head. It never turns out the way I want it to. Maybe that's just writers block in a different form I am unsure XD

Anyway, I love this! There are some lines that are kind of forced, and maybe could use some work (I suggest before you post anything on here, have a friend or two look over it and tell you if you need to make any changes) the flow is weird, maybe change it up?

Okay thats all I got, grammar is not my forte, so im outta here!

Keep writing!


Izzy <3




User avatar
126 Reviews


Points: 624
Reviews: 126

Donate
Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:12 pm
Thisislegacy wrote a review...



Legacy here for a review.

I love this poem. I know the struggle of wanting to write so many words to seemingly having no reason. This is so strongly worded and the rhyming isn't forced (I hate forced rhymes). I don't think there is much that could be added to this except maybe stanza breaks when you start talking about a slightly different topic or idea since right now it starts to bleed together and it can be hard for some people to read (such as myself, but you don't have to change it if you don't want to.)

I love how you describe how when you write, the words are like what is keeping your soul together (I haven't seen that kinds of simile yet and it is amazing.)

Sorry I wasn't more helpful. Keep writing though. Legacy out.





“I'd much rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea.”
— Carrie Bradshaw