seasoned skin

Happy Review Day, Falconer! I'm Ari and I shall be writing you a nice review on this glorious day! Something that I really liked about this is that you used punctuation! YAY! There are so many people on here who will just all out ignore punctuation as if it never existed. YOU, sister, are not one of them! I congratulate you on that. However, capitalization was not used it here. What's up with that, sister? Capitalization is just as important as punctuation for proper English. Now, I may be being a little hypocritical here, as I am not very goof with punctuation AT ALL! But I still write and you still write as well. Very admirable you are! Now, I feel like this poem is about self harm with a line supporting my claim such as " mu arms and legs grew lacerated with cut and scars and battle wounds, burned in the heat but in an armor of bronze skin." Actually, while we are talking about this line, may I point out how you could have worded this better? I feel like this could have sounded so much better if you were to have wrote " cuts, scars, and battle wounds" rather than "cut and scars and battle wounds". Also, I assume that you wanted "cut" to be plural here. As you already know, the plural for cut is cuts. There was a typo right there. ALWAYS proof read your work before you publish it! You never know if you may have made a mistake without noticing! Anyway, I didn't really enjoy this poem as it gave me major OCD attacks. But overall, I think you tried and that is all that matters! Keep writing, Falconer! Have a beautiful day/night! JESUS LOVES YOU!!!!!

Until The End
-Ari

This is Nikayla here dropping in for a review on this lovely Review day!

Hi there Falc. I always enjoy tearing into your poetry because the writing always interests me enough to keep me going. This poem does pretty well with imagery--at the very least, it's a little bare-boned at places. I also wanted to mention starting off that the structure of this poem is nice and neat. Two long stanzas forming the whole poem? Sweet. I can also see these beings maybe stanzas of seven or so lines, though that's your choice.

Since it seems that you're possibly unaware of how to format poetry via the Publishing Center (judging from this and another poem or two that I checked) I'll go ahead and explain that a little bit. There's the first option, which is what's here by just letting the lines have space between them and then having more space between stanzas. The second option is to put a dash or a '~' between stanzas and finally, the third and most ideal option is to line up the whole stanza and then hit shift+enter where you're wanting the line breaks and repeat until the poem is done.

Moving on from that little lesson, the first semicolon that's used in this poem isn't used correctly. What I mean by this is that the second part after the semicolon is a dependent clause, not an independent clause. This could've been continued better with a comma or even nothing. No punctuation at all would've been fine.

Overall, this poem is pretty solid! The flow is a little weird at points though the imagery is strong and the theme is a little shaky because we don't know who this vague other person is--the point is still gotten across nonetheless with the ending (even if we don't get a taste for the personality of this other person, the reader is able to self-insert into the poem which seems to be what you're going for).

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask! I hope I helped and have a great day.

Wow this poem was so great! I love how you slowly made your way to the final point of your poem keeping the reader guessing on what you're message is. The last two lines are so amazing and perfectly end the poem.
That being said, I just have a few small notes.

I feel like some of your lines are a bit choppy. One place is the first two lines. It'd be less of a jolt if they were just one line.

There are also some lines that end with a word like "and" or "in" or other 'bridging' words. (If that makes any sense. Like they bridge two parts of a sentence?) Those lines also seem like they got interrupted.

Yeah that's it! Honestly this is one of my favorite poems I've found on here. I hope this review was helpful!

Hey there its just hipstersquid here for another poetry review.
First I want to start by saying that this poem could have had more put into it. Meaning more words to emphasize the tone and the picture that is trying to be painted. Overall it was a nice poem just could have used a little more of a push to soothe everything.

Small to little grammatical mistakes or errors. To me it came off as a little safe. With the choice of words changing or altering a few words would have popped it some more. I do wish to see more of your poetry in the future. I see great potential