Running through a field of blazing fire, the man in the black suit was dodging bursts of flame that smelled like it was solid propane, which was fueling the flames towards him at an alarming rate. As the man dodged and zig-zagged, there was an explosion behind him and there were clicks and clacks.
Dropping down behind a rock, the man took out a pouch that had different kinds of explosives that he could make anything out of. Taking out three black squares, a roll of wire, and some batteries and duct tape, he put them all together and then duct taped them all together.
Putting the duct tape back in to the pouch, he stood up and started running as hard as he could, trying to distance himself from the flames that were already engulfing the rock that he had hid behind.
He ran in to a small canyon that was narrow enough that he could barely run without turning sideways to fit within the small area of the canyon. Hearing a bunch of clicking and clacking, he glanced back and saw that there were shapes pouring in to the narrow canyon that he had ran in to.
Trying to push himself faster so he could get away from these things, he did not notice that he was running in to a part of the canyon that was a dead end. When he skidded to a halt in the dead in, he glanced back to see that the little figures were swarming in to where he was, and that was only fifty yards away from him. Looking back to the wall, he thought back to his days of climbing, and he started to climb the wall as fast as he could without falling.
As he scaled the wall with ease, he seemed like he was going to get away from the figures, but then they started to pile up on each other and make a ladder to reach him. Pushing himself harder so he could get away, he climbed faster and faster and was pulling away from the figures that were laddering themselves.
Looking back, he was high enough to see the field that was engulfed, and there was just little flames that were left, and all of the explosions that made the flames were guttering out as the fuel that was feeding the flames ran out. With a jolt he realized that he had to climb before the shapes that were clicking and clacking and were using each other to make a living ladder.
As he reached the top of the wall, he jumped up and started to run as fast as his legs would allow him to without giving out, which they were close to giving out because of the long climb that he just put them through, then he was pushing them as hard as they could go to get away from the black shapes. As he ran, he felt elated like he just succeeded in a mission that would save the world. With a light heart, he ran on, out stripping the shapes that were in the middle of chasing him.
Waking up to the sound of crickets chirping, Karker jerked awake, trying to find out where he was because he was so disoriented. With the curtains drawn around the double decker bed, the bed was pitch black, even though there were no windows where Karkers room was.
Finally finding the split in the curtains that surrounded the double decker bed, Karker jumped out on to the floor to find that he was in a strange room that was freezing cold and the air was super dry.
Jumping around because the ground was so cold that his feet were already numb when he had already been on the floor for about three seconds, he stared around rubbing his stomach like his sister used to do when she was standing in front of the refrigerator looking for something to eat.
Then, all of the memories from the past day came back to him and Karker remembered where he was and why he was here and then he went over to the shelf to see if anybody had come in to his room while he was sleeping. To his relief, the bombs were still there and there was no sign that there had been any explosions so prove that someone had just made another.
Thinking about what he just dreamed, he walked in to the bathroom to get changed in to his clothes so he could go to his training and tests that the guy had said would take place today yesterday. Walking over to his bag that he had brought, he pulled out his speaker and his mp3 player that was like twenty years old.
Plugging it in to the outlet that was in there, he turned on some music while he was looking for some clothes to wear for the day so he did not tear his clothes up even more.
But there was nothing that he could really do to tear them up even more because they were all just tattered more than anybody would have ever worn.
While he was looking for some clothes, the favorite part of the song that he liked came on so he started rapping to it.
As he was rapping, he got dressed and got his boots, which were steal toed dark brown boots that were lace-ups that felt like they weighed fifteen or twenty pounds each.
Getting up and jumping around to see if the boots would work for him, Karker could see that they would hamper him and slow him down when he was running and jumping, but if he had to go through water or walk across something hot, he would excel at it.
While jumping, Karker went over to where his mp3 player and his speaker that was so, so old, he picked them up and then hopped over to his bed where he placed them on the underside of the double decker bed.
Thinking of a movie that he had watched and loved when he was a kid, he was picturing the scene of the movie that had a girl that had to obey anything that somebody told here to do, and the guy said, “hop to it then” and the girl had to hop to wherever she was going.
Laughing as he walked out of the door that led to his chamber, he found that there was somebody waiting outside his door.
As he looked at the guy, or it should be a kid, he saw that he was dressed in black from head to toe and had a pack on that was loaded with different kinds of shapes.
Looking up, the kid had a pair of bright green eyes that were burning with curiosity and excitement, small nose, thin lips, dirty blond hair with light brown eyebrows that made him look serious even though he was trying not to laugh at something.
“Hello, my name is Taz, well that is my code name. My real name is Levi, Levi Banes. I am here to get you to where you will train and take your tests, and I will be your partner when you go on your first mission.”
Looking at the kid, Karker asked, “How old are you?”
“I am 27 years old, the same age as you are. Why would you ask that, do I look like I could still be a teenager?”
“Well, yes. You do look like you are a teenager, around 18 or 19, but I guess that some people do not look their age.”
“Yeah, that is completely true, my dad hit puberty when he was a senior in high school, so he looked like he was at least five or six years younger than he really was.
I hit puberty when I was a junior, but I still look like I am ten years younger than I actually am. I guess it just runs in the genes, just like—never mind.”
Chuckling, Karker said, “So, should we get going to see what I have to do? I am anxious so see what I have to do for my first day.”
Also chuckling, Levi said, “I think that you would do good for the first test, just from that bomb that is on your bed, I think that you will ace the bomb making test.”
Turning sort of red, Karker walked in to get one of the bombs that he had made out of the few items that he had from that room. As soon as he got out Levi went nuts with excitement. He took one of the bombs and had that thing disassembled in no time flat.
“Holy cablootie, this is the most well put together bomb that I have ever seen other than one of the newest atomic bombs that are smartest bomb technicians have put together, and that was just a big hunk of C4 that was molded in to a ball and had about fifty detonators all over it.”
“Really? Well this is just what I found in the room that I found, that that is irrelevant, I bet it is nothing that I should have seen, but it is probably irrelevant.”
“Actually, it is not irrelevant, to get to the training, we have to go through the room that is behind the shelf to get there on time because we have been talking for so long.”
“Ok…” Karker said hesitantly. As they walked in to Karkers room, Karker went over to the shelf and grabbed the little bombs that he had made and pulled the little lever that makes the shelf slide over. As the shelf opened, he saw again all of the explosives and all of the deadly poisons that he had saw the night before.
As they walked in to the room, the shelf closed behind them, pitching them in to pitch blackness.
Rolling his eyes, Karker took one of the bombs that were in his hand and he took the little propane bottle off and slid a glass cover over the propane bottle and had the battery and all that outside the glass.
Taking the silver wire, he wired both ends of the wire on the chargers of the battery and they looped that around the glass cover.
Taking a piece of black marble, or what Karker thought was black marble, he loosened up the screw cap on the propane bottle, then put the open end of the glass on the piece of black marble.
Within five seconds, Karker had a little lamp that he could hold in his hand without it getting hot and without it getting to where he could not see because it was so bright.
This lantern emitted a faint glow that made it easy to see and it did not make the walls seem flat so that they had a hard time judging depth, it made it look like they just had a regular lamp, only it was homemade.
Taking off in a brisk walk, Karker heard Levi struggle to keep up with his long strides, which were long loping steps that really worked the stomach muscles.
“Where are we going exactly are we going Levi?”
Jogging to keep up, Levi responded while huffing and puffing, “We just follow this passage until we get to a fork, then we take the right fork and we just follow that out and we arrive at the training and testing center where they evaluate you.
Then they can see if you can keep up with your partner and or if your partner can keep up with you, and I can barely keep up with the pace that you are walking at.”
“Sorry,” Said Karker, “I have just trained myself to walk with long steps so my gut is stronger and when I am hit I do not crumple.”
“Really? Just taking longer steps will strengthen your gut muscles? Wow, I did not know that it was so simple to do that.
I will have to do that now because my gut muscles are always weak and when anything hits my gut, I get a huge stomach ache and I get a huge bruise.”
As they walked down the tunnel, their knees were sometimes giving out because the tunnel was blown out at an uneven rate, so there were huge gouges that hindered them as they were hurriedly walking to the place where they trained and got evaluated and so they were not late.
“Ok, I don’t know about you, but I am not going to be late, so I am going to run, just try to keep up with me.” Karker said.
Levi looked up, “I will leave you in the dust if you want to run, walking is the only thing that I am weak in, so prepare to eat my dust in the bucket loads.”
Laughing, Karker sped off, with Levi hot on his heels, and he was basically just trying to pass Karker, which was not easy because he was 5’11 and did not have a small bone structure, so he took up most of the tunnel.
Then you had the slanting sides and all that, so he was not easy to pass when you are in a restricted area.
Plus with his super long legs, he could cover the ground, and on top of that he had super long strides that were twice the length of Levi’s, so Levi had to work double time just to keep up with Karkers pace, and he wanted to pass him at the same time, so his strength was fading fast as he struggled to pass him.
Finally, they reached the fork in the tunnel and Karker took a right and sped up a little for distance because he kept tripping over Levi’s feet because they were sneaking up in between his legs, hoping to trip him.
Taking longer strides, Karker easily pulled away from Levi at a fast pace that Levi could not match, not even when he pushed himself as hard as he could.
Finally giving up and just going his own pace, Levi fell behind at a fast pace, while Karker just kept up his fast pace until he looked back and saw that he was leaving Levi in the dust, well, there was no dust, so it would be leaving him in the wind that you could not see, and never mind.
Slowing down, Karker let Levi catch up to him and then ran just in front of him, making sure that he had enough room to run without tripping over Karkers feet.
While they ran, Karker was wondering if he would be able to do the tests and the training that they would make him do.
And also wondering if he should just turn back now and let them find another person and not have to deal with him.
As they neared the end of the tunnel, the floor was so easy to run on, Karker just sped up out of habit, because when he was out on the streets, people would chase him away when he got too close to their stuff.
So he was a good runner and he was in incredible shape that clearly said that he was no stranger to running long distances.
Panting, Levi half yelled half squeaked out, “Will you slow down!! I am having a hard time from stopping, then you go and speed up on me, not cool man, well kind of cool because you can run super-duper fast which states that you are in very good shape. But not cool because you are leaving me behind which makes me look like I am out of shape and I am not, I am in the best shape that I have ever been in, and your lantern is going out.”
Looking down, Karker realized that he had let a gap in between the marble and the glass cover open, which allowed the air to circulate in there, which made the flame flicker that was right above the little propane bottle.
Getting the gap closed and making sure that he was more careful this time when he was running, he looked back and said,
“We have to run and go fast, or else we are going to run out of propane and then we have to go blindly through here, and I do not want that to happen, so shut your mouth and get to running or I will leave you in the dark and I will go ahead and wait for you at the end of the tunnel.
"Wherever it comes out, if it comes out, and when it will ever come out because I take after my father and I have claustrophobia, so I do not do well in the darkness, or if I know that there is no way out of this tunnel, then you are in big trouble because I will kill you so fast because I am mad, then I will regret it because you were the only company that I had.”
While he was going on his rant on how and what he was going to do when he got mad, he did not realize that they were almost at the end of the tunnel.
He was running backwards, so he did not see the light from the end of the tunnel, all that he saw was the light from the homemade lamp and Levi’s face.
The look on Levi’s face was priceless. It was a mixture of horror and surprise with a tinge of fear that made the whole look very funny and comical. The look almost made Karker laugh because it was so funny and comical and it was also different than any face that he had ever seen before.
So while fighting to keep a straight face in front of Levi, Karker turned around and tripped over his own feet, which flung the three bombs that were tied together out on to the floor in the middle of the training room.
When they hit the floor, they made an explosion that made dust fall from the roof, and it drew all of the attention to the scene in the middle of the floor. And that was a lot of people.
End of chapter
Continue to next chapter Invincible Chapter ThreePoints:
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hi it's me again!
let's go~
So I don't know how I feel about the dream yet, cause I haven't read the whole chapter, but I will say I would like more description on these figures. Mostly just clarify if they are human or animal like shapes, that would help a lot xD
okay, so it wouldn't be "even though". If you said it was bright in the room, then even though would work. But since you're saying it's pitch black, then it would make sense that there is no windows. how about "probably because of the fact that" or something like that?
you're very heavy on this "double decker" adjective following bed around, and it's getting super repetitive. just say bed, we get what you mean.
I don't really understand what you're saying at the end of this sentence. Consider making it a little more clear.
if he was speaking, this would be okay, but it doesn't quite work in the way it's said. try "that was probably about twenty years old."
this seems awkward, and it's unneeded info.
unneeded repetition, you already told us it was old.
I HAVE TO ASK. is this from Ella Enchanted????? cause i love that movie omg.
this should be "As he looked at the guy, or rather the kid,"
typo
[quote] well, there was no dust, so it would be leaving him in the wind that you could not see, and never mind.[quote]
add a comma after "and"
I like this Levi, and I'm starting to like the main character a lot more too. He seems very educated in what he's doing, I like that.
I like this chapter, it's good! And I'm getting more and more interested in what's coming, so that's good
off to the next!
- Del
Sorry It took so long to reply, I have been super busy, anyways yes it is off of Ella Enchanted. My sister and I love that movie so I just had to incorporate it.
Hello there!
did you notice?)
I have arrived to review this second chapter of Invincible. I apologize for not reviewing the Prologue and Chapter 1, but I figured a review would be better appreciated here. So, without further ado, let's get on with the review! (that rhymed
I don't have much to mention in the interest of grammar. You do quite well in this field, and whilst I was reading I did not find anything peculiar to comment on aside from one thing. Initially, you did not indent your paragraphs, but starting with the third paragraph, you began to indent them. Choose to either indent or not, and stay consistent with it. Personally, I prefer not indenting. But that's just me.
Throughout the story, you kept throwing in childish things as Levi and Karker encountered one another. For instance:
The silly, childish competitions the two get into were rather amusing, but helped to prove that beneath his unnatural knowledge of explosives, Karken has a bit of play in him. But that in turn bides the question: How does Karken know so much about explosives? (or did you mention that somewhere and I completely missed it...)
I believe that's about it from me! I am really enjoying this story! Well done! I'll see you very soon for Chapter Three!
Keep writing, my friend.
-Sis
Thanks for the review Sis, and thanks for the compliment. For the indenting, that is a mistake I take in editing for the format on this site. As for the childish bits, that is my personality put on paper so I hope you approve. And his unnatural knowledge of explosives comes from his engineering training, so he knows what is gonna go off and what is not. Chapter four will be up hopefully pretty soon. I have been super busy, so it has been hard to get on the computer and write and do other stuff. Thanks again for the review!
~Poetic Cowboy
Lol poor Karker! Dropping bombs everywhere... Levi is so cute! I love how he just rambles on! Oh and also this sentence:

"So prepare to eat my dust in the bucket loads.”
Are they going to be partners? I sure hope so! Also that was a super long tunnel. I wonder if Levi will ever want to go through it again...
I have the next 6 chapters mapped out with incidents and all that, you will see. I am so evil. Jk. The next chapter will come out Monday.
Looking forward to it!