Chapter Three
Everybody looked up at Karker and Levi, which was only about fifty people, most of them were either in scientist coats or they were in suits and ties that clearly stated that they were the judges and not the ones that were taking the tests and training. Some of the people were dressed in black like Levi was, and some were just in shorts and a tank top that was very…. Colorful.
Standing up to his full height, Karker felt his cheeks go red with embarrassment at the explosion that off in the middle of the room where they were training and testing. Looking at where the bombs went off, Karker was surprised to find that the bomb had blown a hole in the ground that was at least three feet deep.
Running some calculations through his head, Karker estimated that the bombs would at least make a crater if they would have been linked with some C4 or some bigger propane bottles.
A guy with about three inch long dark brown hair walked over to Karker and Levi and held out his hand. He had brown with a tinge of hazel for his eyes, thin lips, a regular nose with some of the most off-set eyebrows that Karker had ever seen.
They were a light blonde that had some streaks of dark brown that looked like it could be black if you really looked close at it, but in the present time, Karker could not look at them closely.
“Hello. You two must be the new recruits that we hired. My name is S.K., but that is just my code name, which everybody has around here. My real name is, well you can call me Dev.”
Before Karker could get one tine peep out of his mouth, Levi was bursting with questions that Karker thought would never stop, and they were some of the most random things.
“Why are your eyebrows like that? What does S.K. stand for? Why are we the two new recruits? Did you see what his bombs di--” Cutting him off in the middle of his sentence, Karker said,
“Hello, my name is Karker, this is Levi, or as he told me, Taz. I do not have a code name yet that I know of so you guys will have to call me by my first name, which is Karker.”
“That is alright that you do not have a code name.” Turning around he yelled, “Back to work people, we have tests and training to do so get a move on. We have little time to spare, in fact, we have no time to spare on dinking around, so get your buttocks moving now or I will talk to the big man and you will have to explain to him why you are not doing your jobs!”
As he said what he did to the people that were working there, he had an air of command that told Karker that he was of importance in the food chain that was there.
As soon as he said what he did, all of the people turned around and started to do some things that they looked like they were supposed to be doing and not staring at the scene that they had been staring at this whole time that Dev was saying what he did.
“And to answer your questions Levi, my eyebrows are like that because I can change my facial appearances at will. S.K. stands for Silent Killer, even though I kill with a humongous bang that can be heard in China from Texas.
You two are the new recruits because we just got you guys and you guys are new. And yes I did see what did bombs did, and that will stink because we are all out of dry concrete so we cannot fill it in for a while.”
“Sorry about the floor, I did not mean to fling the bombs on to the floor, but I am surprised at what they did for just having made them real quick last night before I went to bed.”
“You just whipped these things up real quick before you went to bed? Well, why did you make them and how did you make them because they were pretty good bombs that blew a pretty good size hole in the concrete that is ten feet thick!”
“It was just a size C battery and a little propane bottle and then I wrapped that in some silver wire, then wrapped that in tin foil to create a charge. Then I took and used some silver wire and wired three of them together to create a chain reaction charge that would wake me up if someone came in to my room through the shelf.”
“It freaked you out with finding the shelf on your first night? Well, I found it on the first night and I got counted off because I followed it to the training room and did not wait for someone else to come with me. You will probably not get counted off because of it, but, I would not count on it.”
Walking to one side of the round room to where there was a place that looked like it was outside by the design of it, Dev walked over to a button that made some walls come up out of the ground to make it look like it was a dead end of a hallway and you had to climb up it.
Walking to the next place that was three time as big as the other one, Dev pushed another button and bushes and little men with guns popped up that shot little pebbles that looked like they hurt.
While they walked, Dev explained what each one was for. “This one,” Indicating the first room that he had punched the button for that made the walls come up, “Is for climbing and exercise and agility.
This one is for keeping you in good shape and gets you used to what you are supposed to do, which is save this country from the people who want to bomb it and want to kill all of the people that are on the face of the U.S.A..
“We already have forty people out across the United States protecting our citizens on what can, will, and are happening. Such as,” He said, motioning to a map that was pinned to a table in another room that was filled with tons and tons of papers and maps.
“These places that people hear about on the news that are explosions that are happening to the bombers that are trying to bomb our country, that is what we do, and what we do at our best, if that makes sense to you.”
“It kind of makes sense,” Levi said, “I hear all about these and how they are threatening our country because they are experimental tests of the explosives that the bombers are using to try to destroy this country.
I do not think that we are hearing the whole story because it barely makes sense, and it also makes me suspicious of the government because I think that they are trying to hide something from us, which is kind of upsetting to me.”
“Well, you are right in some ways and some in other ways. You are not hearing the whole stories and the ‘accidental bombing accidents of experimental bombing’ or the ABAEB as we call it is not true. These ABAEB’s are actually doings of us, the people who are trying to stop these bombers from ruining our country.
“We go to where these bomber people have their explosives hidden and stored and we blow them up, leaving these bomber man people without any resources that they have, which forces them to go and buy all of this stuff, which in turn is where the Secret Service comes in because they can track these people and catch them in the act of trying to hurt the citizens of the United States and the lively hood of us.”
“Wow” Said both Karker and Levi at the same exact time, which in turn made Dev chuckle because they were amazed at what the government was able to hide from them, and what they were doing to save the country that our fathers fought for to free from the tyranny that Great Britain had over us. It was quite amazing what these people were risking just to stop some people that had entered our country just to try and destroy it.
“It is pretty amazing what we do, but we do it for a joint cause, but we are the only place that does it so it makes it even more spectacular when you find out that only two people have destroyed at least ten or twelve bombings apiece.
Just because they blew up a storehouse that the bomber people were using which was the only explosives that they had. It is kind of confusing though how they spread out even further when one of the storehouses are blown up because then we find them easier.
“Honestly, they are like fire-ants the way that they scatter when one of the storehouses are blown up. There was one person that we had pinpointed his location, then we blew up another one of his accomplishes storehouses, which made him scatter and leave his den which in turn we caught him in the next day that he escaped, which was foolish because he was in the Mexican territory, so he was safe and we could not do anything about it.”
“Really?” Levi said, his mouth hanging open at the regularity that Dev was talking about all of this to Karker and him. Turning to Karker and saying, “Just think, that could be us in a matter of time!”
Giving Levi a weird look and edging around the table from him Karker said, “Aaaaakkkkwwaaaarrrrd!” Looking at the faces of Karker and Levi, Dev started laughing at the sight and the meaning of what Karker had taken it and also taking in the meaning of what Levi had meant it, it just made it a really funny and awkward situation that he was watching.
“So, what we are going to do,” Said Dev, “Is you guys go through different series of training and testing and showing what you can do, then we give you your code names and you are then educated on what you are supposed to do, then we equip you and brief you on your mission then we send you out on a mission that can save countless lives.”
Both Levi and Karker looked at each other and grinned at each other, a sure sign that they were on board, then they whipped their heads around to where De was looking at them. They both nodded. Grinning, Dev beckoned to them to follow him and he walked over to another room across the circular main room to where there were different tables set up.
One of the tables had different kind of pouches and backpacks that looked very advanced and did not look out of the ordinary if you did not see the little round vents that were sticking out of the bottom of the packs, or the attachable gun holster that made the whole pack look like it was meant for someone that was really good at what he did.
Picking one of the packs up Dev said, “Your first test is to fill these with food and supplies that will last you for a week, then you need to fill it with weapons that can help you out when you are on missions and you do not have very much stuff that is of use to you on a mission.
So, take one of these backpacks and pouches,” He said throwing one of each to each of them, “And when I say go, fill them with what you need, and you only have five minutes, now go!!!!”
When he said go, both of them raced off to see what they needed and what they could use to help them do whatever they were needed to do.
Karker immediately went over to where there was some explosives that were small and could easily be concealed when needed, and it also did not take up much room at all. Looking at some vials, he picked a velvet case up that had springs on it to make it to where the thing inside it did not explode if it was dropped or ruffled around, then he filled it with little vials that had some red liquid in them that bubbled faintly.
Next he went over to the food where Levi had gone to first and grabbed some dried food that would not take up that much space and it was dry. Then he went back to the explosives and filled the rest of the pack and the pouch up with C4 and other explosives.
Also Karker had put a bunch of little packs of water that would sustain a person for at least a week if needed. Now that stinking backpack was so heavy he had to put it on his back in order to get all of the stuff that he needed to make sure that he had a defense and so that he could just throw something at somebody if he needed to, which he was thinking that it would be necessary if you had some people coming at you with some AK-47’s shooting at you like these bullets were going to go out of style tomorrow.
Now Levi was a different story. He had gone over to where there was a bunch of pop and other stuff and grabbed carbonated water and pop and bug packs of water that were clumsy to carry. He had also gone to the dried food and gotten as much of that as he could without breaking the seams on the compartment on and in the backpack.
“Finish!” Dev cried, holding his hand up. “Bring your bags and pouches over here and let me evaluate them and see what you have done and what you could have done to do it better. Hey Levi! You need to bring your little pouch too so I can look in that too.”
Running back to get his pouch, Karker and Levi brought their stuff up for Dev to evaluate and to see what they had done good and was perfect and what they had not done good and if they were below par or above par. Reaching for Levi’s backpack, he unzipped it and pulled out the huge water pack and shook it.
“This young man was a mistake. You need little packs of water so they take up less room and you do not have to take the time to reseal them. Also you do not need this pop I do not think, unless you are going to put it in a small area with some explosive gas or propane and throw it, which would make it explode, or if you were to drink it, which you should not when you are trying to lose weight and trying to get fit and muscular.
“Ok, now you have a good array of explosives that you can use in times of trouble and on your missions, also you have some so if you need to make an explosive, you can whip one up in a jiffy. Some of these are technical, and some of these are not too hard to put together, but I commend you on using the little gas caps, which are awesome if you need to throw somebody or something somewhere or just to make a fire easily.
“Your choice of food is pretty good, although it is kind of hard to reseal these packages, so I would recommend less of the bigger portions, and I would also recommend that you used more of the smaller portions because they take up less space and you do not have to waste time trying to reseal them. All in all, good job, there are just little things that need to be changed. Now, for your pouch.”
Pulling Levi’s pouch towards him, he opened it up, only to have it burst in to flames. As he held it, it sent out different fireworks and stuff like that, making the whiskers on his chin burn off. Looking up at Levi, Dev said, “What in the heck did you put in this stinking pouch!?” He yelled at Levi.
“It was just a bunch of little gas caps that had little sparks on them. I thought that they would be a good edition because they would make for an easy fire start.”
“Well, they are not, once they have been ruffled around, they explode when they are in contact with oxygen, which is abundant in this chamber, so it will burst in to flame and sear off any hair that it comes close to. Not cool man, not cool at all.”
Pulling Karkers backpack towards him he unzipped it and was surprised to see this bag chalk full of different kinds of explosives and other things that would make the Empire State Building turn in to a big ball of ash that would spread itself out all over the country.
“Holy cow!! What, Where, and How did you get all of this stuff in here so neat and organized? It would of taken me three hours to get all of this stuff packed in to here, and none of it will be in danger of exploding because they are separated by different kinds of food and water.
“I mean, look at the kinds of explosives that you have in here! You have C4, propane, gas caps, lighters, silver wire, batteries, mirrors, lasers, and detonators that would make the atomic bomb look like it was just a little Black Cat compared to what these little vials would do if they were put together with the propane and the gas caps.”
“What are those little vials, what do they do, and how dangerous are they?” Karker asked.
“Well, they are called the atomic essence, which is pretty cool. What they do is they are like little death things that are convenient to carry around and are almost undetectable. How dangerous they are? Well, I will tell you. One little vial is like one atomic bomb that you can carry around in your pocket, and the glass is shatterproof. So you have to take the top off in able to make it explode, and it is detonated when it comes in to contact with hydrogen.
“These little things are what we rely on the most when we need to do a job real quick. All you have to do is take and put the opening on the top of a propane tank or little lighter, and then throw that in to a building and it will go up in a flash that will destroy anything that is near it.
“Ok, back to evaluating. Your food is in good choice, so is the little water packs. You do need some more of the food so you have plenty of it when you need to support your partner if they are injured, and if they need attention with medical stuff, they need something to keep their mind off of the pain and what you are doing to help them.
“Also you have room for some stuff that you find that you need to bring back to us and you also have good recourses and places to stash stuff where it cannot be found and or spilled. Over all you have good things that will come in handy if you need them really bad in this backpack, the only thing that you need in here is some medical stuff. Good job though.
“Now for this,” Dev said, pulling open Karkers pouch gingerly, “Woah.” Both Dev and Levi exclaimed at the same time.
“You are almost perfect with everything. You have different kinds of healing oil, different kinds of wrap in here if you have to bandage a wound up on the go. You have different kinds of cleaning lotions and pastes; also you have disinfecting stuff if you need to clean out an infected cut or something.
“And you also have some bacterial spray for abrasions that are bad colors, and you have some glow sticks and some spray that erases your enemy’s memory and some mirrors to jam the probing rays of the tracking devices that are abundant in the people who are trying to bomb the United States.
“You have one of the most organized packs and pouches that I have ever seen, and you have probably the first perfect score for when you have just started in here, and do not worry Levi, you were almost up there with Karker. Karker got a one hundred percent, but you were at a ninety-eight percent, which is pretty darn good for your first time.”
Giving them each a high-five, Dev walked over to a table and set their stuff down and hit another button that would make a training room appear.
Letting out a gasp each, Karker and Levi stared in wonder at the fantastic stuff that was on the tables.
“Well boys, time for you to show me what you have in those brains of yours, and time to put that in to action with making me some bombs and other stuff to blow me away!”
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okay, last one!
this seems forced, and weird. I don't know your preferences, but I kinda wish he used some actual curse words, but I understand if that's not something you want in your writing.
typo.
and what does he mean when he says he can change his appearance at will? like a supernatural power? or sarcastically?
typo.
okay. so the biggest problem I'm noticing is your dialogue. You're very weird with word structure, like you're trying to hard. just make it like a normal person would say it, haha. And you repeat unneeded information A LOT. It makes it boring to read when you do that, so watch out for that.
other than that, really good chapter!
I hope my reviews have helped in some way!
- Del
Thanks Lylas, and the reason why I don't use curse words is because I don't like myself represented as a person who uses a lot of curse words. Thats why I don't use them, other than a few like Dammit or stupid dumb dumbo and ones like that.
that's totally fine! Like I said, all about preference.
Hello there! I have returned!
Once again, this was a very intriguing chapter. Let's jump into the review, shall we?
Grammar/Spelling:
You have relatively good grammar for being 14. There were a few things that I noticed in this chapter though, so I'll go on ahead and point those out. The areas in bold are the areas where I've found an error.
Okay, so first off I believe the word you were going for here is resources. Second, you forgot the end quotation at the end, after the second bold section.
What I'm about to mention is a consistent mistake I found throughout the chapter. I'll use this as an example.
What you've done here is you've had Dev speaking, and you started him off with quotation marks at the beginning of what he's saying. At the end of that "paragraph", where the word something is, you did not close the quotation, but instead opened a new one, with the same character talk in the new paragraph. A simple way to fix this is by adding in dialogue in-between Dev's critiques.
I, once again, have thoroughly enjoyed reading your work. Kudos to this piece. I will see you for Chapter Four.
Keep writing, my friend.
-Sis