THEY ARE ALL NAMED AFTER PLACES IN CANADA IM WHEEZING
Lady Alberta Parapluie was practicing harp in her bedroom when a loud knock on the door made her jump.
“Funny,” she muttered to herself. “I don’t recall the Brampton Minuet for a Solo Harpist calling for percussion.” Smiling at her little joke, she rose off of the stool, her heavy skirts following her. She opened the door only a crack before a figure came barrelling in. Alberta barely registered that it was her maid, Nova, before she began talking quite frantically.
“I know this is hardly proper, milady, but I just didn’t know where else to go! You see, I’ve been here, and I’ve been there, and the prince isn’t, and— oh, the king! He’s devastated, and I can’t help him, even though he thinks— he thinks— augh!” She ended her small speech with a wail.
“Please, Nova, slow down! What’s this about King Quebec?” Alberta ushered her friend over to a tufted armchair in the corner. “And you mentioned Prince Toronto as well?”
Nova sank into the armchair, her starch-white apron making the color in her cheeks more pronounced. She took a deep breath before beginning, her eyes wide and watery.
“Prince Toronto is missing,” Nova began, “and King Quebec thinks I’m to blame.”
Alberta scoffed. “What, like you tied him up and threw a sack over his head and tossed him in the wine cellar?”
Nova nodded, her mouth a straight line of solemnity. “That’s exactly what he thinks happened.”
Alberta blinked. “Well, that’s ridiculous.”
“Is it?” Nova’s hands fiddled in her lap. “Maybe it did happen.”
“Well, you would know, wouldn’t you?” Alberta asked absently. Her mind was already back to the C major progressions in the Brampton Minuet. It seemed ridiculous that anyone would suspect sweet Nova, the favorite maid of all the royal court, of kidnapping Prince Toronto. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must—”
“That’s the thing!” Nova wailed, so loudly that it made Alberta abruptly shut up. “I don’t know if I did it or not!”
Alberta frowned. “Well, that’s peculiar. How can you not know?”
Nova took a shaky breath. “Every memory I have this morning is fuzzy. I know I must’ve done my maid duties because no one has complained, but I can’t actually recall doing them. And that means I must’ve seen Prince Toronto at some point today, but the most recent thing I remember clearly is King Quebec accusing me of kidnapping the prince.” She sniffed. “Isn’t that terrible? I was the last to see him, and I can’t even remember it!”
“I can see why that would be regarded as suspicious,” Alberta commented. While she did want to perfect her minuet, it seemed that Nova needed her help more. “Ah, well, you’ve convinced me. I’ll help you.”
Nova looked surprised. “Oh! I thank you, milady, but I’d only come in here because—”
“Nonsense.” Alberta shut her up with a wave of her hand. “I’m now invested. Just call me Detective Alberta now.”
“I think you need credentials for things like that, milady.”
Alberta waved her statement away. “Ah, no. There’s only one thing you need, and it’s not credentials.”
Nova gave a surreptitious cough. “And what’s that, milad—Detective?”
Alberta grinned. “The right clothes.”
-
Alberta saw Nova smile as she emerged from her chamber, trench coat neatly belted at her waist, deerstalker hat perched jauntily atop her coiffed head.
“That’s quite a spiffy coat, milady,” Nova said, looking her up and down.
Alberta gave her a twirl, smiling too. “And the hat?”
“The hat… ah… it’s very you, milady.”
Alberta grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment. Now,” she continued, clapping her hands once. “I think we owe a visit to Lord Ottawa.”
“The court mage?” Nova asked. “Forgive me, milady, but what role does he play in all of this?”
“Your memory loss,” Alberta said simply. “They don’t just disappear like that. This has magic written all over it.”
“Still, I’m not sure we should bother him. I’m sure he’s got many important things to do.”
“Ah, he’ll manage.” Alberta grabbed Nova’s arm. “Let’s go!”
-
Alberta only knocked once before barging right into Lord Ottawa’s rooms. Immediately it felt like she’d wandered into a fantasyland. While the rest of the castle was stony and covered in heavy, dusty tapestries in faded jewel tones, the mage’s domed ceiling had glowing stars dangling from strings, rich silks swathed the walls and furniture, and glass bottles filled with alluring liquids stood perched and pert on rustic wooden shelves. The mage himself was stretched out on the floor, waist-length blond hair draped over a spiral-spangled satin pillow, forehead wrinkled with frustration.
Alberta made her way through the numerous cushions on the ground until she reached his side. She leaned over him. “Lord Ottawa?”
“Leave me in peace.” He groaned. “Do I appear to be in a mood for chatter, Lady Alberta?”
“It’s Detective Alberta now,” she said.
“Oh really? Have you got the certifications?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Is the deerstalker not enough?”
He stared at her. “No.” He then rolled onto his stomach, long hair dragging across the floor. With his face buried in the pillow, he gave a muffled “leave me alone.”
Alberta gave Nova a conspiratorial look. “The plot thickens.” She nudged Lord Ottowa with her toe. “Lord Ottawa? What’s the matter?’
The sound of faint grumbling came from below. After sharing another look, Alberta and Nova kelt by his side.
“We won’t bite, you know,” Alberta said. After some hesitation, the mage rolled over once more.
“Someone’s gone and stolen all my healing potions, and I’ve got the most terrible headache. I normally keep spares on me, but I forgot today, for some reason.”
Alberta’s eyebrows raised. “How uncanny! We’re here for help with memory issues, specifically Miss Scotia’s. She’s been accused of kidnapping the prince, and can’t speak in her own favor as she’s slightly succumbed to amnesia. We were wondering if you had anything to counter her bout of memory loss, or even if you could tell us what spell or potion someone might have used on her.”
If Lord Ottawa was shocked by the fact that Prince Toronto was missing, he didn’t show it. Instead, he simply frowned. “Could you lower your voice? And I would help if I could. This splitting headache means I can’t do much of anything right now, I’m afraid.”
Nova looked dejected, but Alberta pressed on. “If we found a way to cure you of this headache, could you help us?”
“Of course. Though I’m not sure you could… well. Actually…”
“What?” Alberta had forgotten about Lord Ottawa’s request for silence, and hastily apologized when he winced.
“Well, as I was saying, I think there might be a way to procure some more healing potion. I left… ah, it doesn’t matter what, but I think Ontario—that is, Sir Province—should have some. You know, the royal portraitist?”
Alberta nodded. “I know. But why would Sir Province have some of your healing potions?”
Lord Ottawa faintly blushed. “Never you mind. Just get it for me, and then I might be able to help you and Miss Scotia.”
Hello! This is Foxmaster!!!🦊
I personally think this is very interesting and I am definitely going to continue this. Well, some of the ideas in this were very interesting and original. The title of this also really caught my eye.
Nova took a shaky breath. “Every memory I have this morning is fuzzy. I know I must’ve done my maid duties because no one has complained, but I can’t actually recall doing them. And that means I must’ve seen Prince Toronto at some point today, but the most recent thing I remember clearly is King Quebec accusing me of kidnapping the prince.” She sniffed. “Isn’t that terrible? I was the last to see him, and I can’t even remember it!”
“Your memory loss,” Alberta said simply. “They don’t just disappear like that. This has magic written all over it.”
ooh, so it does have to do with magic, I wonder where it leads us.
Alberta’s eyebrows raised. “How uncanny! We’re here for help with memory issues, specifically Miss Scotia’s. She’s been accused of kidnapping the prince, and can’t speak in her own favor as she’s slightly succumbed to amnesia. We were wondering if you had anything to counter her bout of memory loss, or even if you could tell us what spell or potion someone might have used on her.”
dudeeeeeee i LOVE the mystery in this! it’s so interesting in a unique way. 
at first i suspected of the maid being the culprit, but the case took a pretty twisted turn and i then changed my mind, which i like twists like that!
can’t wait to find out who the culprit really is. good job!
(btw i agree with the Sherlock Holmes and John Watson comments below mine, it’s so mysterious and…omg i lOvE iT.)
Hi Plume, I thought I'd leave a quick review.
Like Mailice mentioned below, Alberta and Nova remind me of Sherlock and Watson. Their personalities are dynamic and expressed very well through the dialogue. I think Nova's gentle disposition constrasts really well with Alberta's quirkiness and their tag team effort to solve the mystery of the prince's disappearance is intriguing.
In fact, the bit that initially hooked my attention was Alberta's joke muttered to herself in the beginning. Starting off with strong use of dialogue is such a great way to begin a story because the reader immediately gets a glimpse into what the character is like. The writing style flowed very well, being descriptive but not too wordy. The fast-paced rhythm kept me engaged until the very end. However there were a few sentences that sounded a bit awkward or broke the rhythm:
"Lady Alberta Parapluie was practicing harp in her bedroom when a loud knock on the door made her jump."
("playing harp" sounded a little odd to me and I can understand not wanting to place "her" between the words because that word is already in the sentence a few times. But maybe rephrasing it to address the harp as hers would make it flow better.)
'Alberta scoffed. “What, like you tied him up and threw a sack over his head and tossed him in the wine cellar?”'
(there is an overuse of the word "and" in this sentence that sounds awkward. Perhaps removing the first "and" as well as replacing it with a comma will improve reading flow.)
'“Nonsense.” Alberta shut her up with a wave of her hand. “I’m now invested. Just call me Detective Alberta now.”'
(You used "now" twice and very close to each other which makes it sound superfluous. I think just removing "now" from the end of the second sentence would remove the unnecessary repetition and improve reading flow.)
Overall I really enjoyed your story and I saw that you posted a part two so I'm gonna go read that now.
Thanks for sharing,
Poetry Misfit
Hey Plume!
RandomTalks here with a short review!
This was a really interesting first part to the story. It was funny and light and exactly what I needed to read at the end of a long day.
I love the sporadic way you have introduced your characters - there was nothing intentional or purposeful about it. Some characters like Nova, simply barged into the story, others like the mage were introduced to us lying on the ground. I liked the fact that you do not give us any prior information about these characters before involving us in the story. We simply follow them into new situations and learn more along the way, albeit not very much. However, the lack of background for the characters seemed to oddly work in favor of this particular story. It made it feel even more unpredictable, and made the readers react more effectively to the characters.
“Nonsense.” Alberta shut her up with a wave of her hand. “I’m now invested. Just call me Detective Alberta now.”
Immediately it felt like she’d wandered into a fantasyland.
She raised an eyebrow. “Is the deerstalker not enough?”
He stared at her. “No.”
Hi Plume,
Mailice here with a short review! 
For the first part, you create a good opening into the story and the introduction of the characters. Let's jump right into the story.
I really like the dynamic between Alberta and Nova. It seems a bit like Holmes and Watson. Whereas I also assume that Nova seems a little more clumsy. That's my impression after there was a certain hecticness, especially in the first half, precisely because Nova didn't really know what was going on, and Alberta tries to connect everything with some clear calculation and develops a certain interest. I especially liked how she became a detective at this point.
The dialogues, as already mentioned a bit - because of Nova - gave out a certain hecticness. I thought it was good that you always added some small details about what the characters were doing. I think without these points, it would become quite confusing at a certain point, especially because this is a short story.
It also remains in the back of my mind that despite the little information we get about the different characters, we already have a good view of them. But I also think that this is my own imagination, because when I see the names I immediately have a certain kind of person in front of me, who probably have some kind of personification. I think it's good, though, because at the same time it gives a very playful undertone, which is good for the story.
Other points I noticed while reading:
“I don’t recall the Brampton Minuet for a Solo Harpist calling for percussion.” Smiling at her little joke,
“Please, Nova, slow down! What’s this about King Quebec?” Alberta
Alberta only knocked once before barging right into Lord Ottawa’s rooms. Immediately it felt like she’d wandered into a fantasyland. While the rest of the castle was stony and covered in heavy, dusty tapestries in faded jewel tones, the mage’s domed ceiling had glowing stars dangling from strings, rich silks swathed the walls and furniture, and glass bottles filled with alluring liquids stood perched and pert on rustic wooden shelves.
“Leave me in peace.” He groaned. “Do I appear to be in a mood for chatter, Lady Alberta?”“It’s Detective Alberta now,” she said.
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