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Young Writers Society



'Cause I Love You

by PixieStix


'Cause I love you

There’s something ‘bout the way you look at me,
Those eyes, drive me crazy,
I swear I would do anything to see them,
Everyday

There’s something ‘bout the way you touch me,
Those hands fit perfectly in mine,
I swear I would do anything to feel them,
Everyday

It’s not complicated,
No baby, don’t go away,
There’s nothing to figure out,

‘Cause I’m myself when I’m with you,
You make me feel safe,
Calm me down,
Oh but baby, those eyes,
You got to know I love blue,
And that I love you

There’s something ‘bout the way you kiss me,
Those lips are tempting,
I swear I would do anything to kiss them,
Everyday

There’s something ‘bout the way you hold me,
Those arms make me feel safe,
I swear I would do anything to hug you,
Everyday

It’s not complicated,
No baby, don’t go away,
There’s nothing to figure out

And I’ve been waiting,
To hear those three words,
That makes my heart beat fast,
And make me love you even more

‘Cause I’m myself when I’m with you,
You make me feel safe,
Calm me down,
Oh but baby, those eyes,
You got to know I love blue,
And that I love you

And when I’m alone with you,
I spend the time with a smile,
Loving how you say my name,
Kiss my cheek,
And I’ll do anything you want to,
Because I love you

Oh yeah baby, ‘cause I love you.

 


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12 Reviews


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Sun Dec 15, 2013 10:40 am
FloralFlower wrote a review...



Hello!

This is very different to most other poems I've read, not that I've read many...

I like the idea of it, it's interesting.

Those lyrics are very simply, but I sill like it. We all know what love is. I also write lyrics about my life, experience, mistakes, man etc. It's really interesting to meet other lyricist here in this site. You said you want to record this song. It would be nice to hear how it could sound. I also want to record my songs. I have posted here only one song, but i have more. If you want you can check out them. I hope you will write more lyrics soon! Keep going!

- Ophelia




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Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:12 pm
Rydia wrote a review...



Hello! I decided to take a look at your lyrics for my second review :)

Specifics

1. I like the refrain of everyday, it's very simple, but effective and has a nice finality to it so good work there. I think some of the other lines are a bit over-used though like 'drive me crazy' or 'hands fit perfectly in mine'. These are big cliches and you're not adding a new touch to them. Instead, you need to make these characters real people with their own quirks and think of what is personal to them.

2. I like the line 'I'm myself when I'm with you' and it makes me think you should have a stanza about who she/ he is when not with their other half! That would give you a chance to show some deeper level of personality.

3. There's a sense of conflict behind this 'no don't go away' and I wonder if you couldn't show more reason behind that. Why is the persona afraid their lover will leave them?

Overall

Okay so you have a good rhythm here and there were a few lines and ideas I liked, but I found this very difficult to engage with because it was nothing out of the ordinary. The two lovers could be anyone and there isn't anything new here or particularly catchy. It's a bit slow and boring to be honest. A love song these days needs something more to it, either a conflict to be resolved or some interesting personality quirks and details.

I hope that give you some ideas.

Just keep writing!

Heather xx




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Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:37 pm
hudakp says...



Hello, I like the first 11 lines. I said myself that it is really interesting lyrics. But after that it all became boring and cheap. I'm not saying that it is all wrong, but I miss the originality in your lyrics.

The best thing for me is the rhythm. You did a nice work there.




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Sun Jun 30, 2013 9:00 pm
NicoleBri wrote a review...



Hello Katie, pandabear7 here to review for you! < 3
Wow, I just love, love songs :)
They are always beautiful, well if you know how to write it, which YOU do!
I don't see any mistakes here :) and I just love the flow of it.
It sounds like it would be a beautiful song to be sung, and I really would like to hear a melody, but by far, it's not possible.
Well put it on YouTube with you singing it!!! < 3 that would be amazing!
Now that I'm looking at it I see something weird.
I don't want to be mean, I mean this is your song but I just don't understand why its called 'cause I love you, you only say that about twice in the whole song.
I figured it would be "I love you" just because you say I love you a lot.
:) that's not a bad thing though!
But I guess maybe that is just the way I think, but above all it is very sweet!

Keep up the good work!!!



-Pandabear < 3




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Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:13 am
ERZA wrote a review...



Hey Katie! I am here to review this first thing in the morning! Its like this...I woke up just now and ended up hunched over the phone writing your review! :-) :-)

So what you have here is a love song right? I really liked your song. This reminds me of Taylor Swift's songs. Its these lyrics I guess but these are really nice.
Your flow..the way you wrote this is just perfect and after reading these I can tell that it is definitely a very good song. It has rhythm and so much unity in it like it has the right amount of details and the chorus was done perfectly and overall this is awesome! I don't think there are any mistakes here. I really liked how you managed to express your feelings in the song. The song is all flowy calming types I think but it expresses such intense feelings! Small packet big boom! You' ve totally nailed it girl! Keep up the awesome work! :-) :-D




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Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:47 am
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi KatieHalltiner! Niteowl here to put in a review for Team Dreamwave!

Now, overall, this has a good flow and rhythm. This sounds like it could flow very nicely. And I rather like this section of the chorus:

Oh but baby, those eyes,
You got to know I love blue,
And that I love you


The blue eyes are a fairly common description in love songs, but I like the way you phrased it. It really rolls off the tongue.

That said, much of this feels very overdone. I can think of several songs that express the same idea using the same or similar lines. "There's something about you", "our hands fit perfectly", "you drive me crazy", etc. It's been done before to the point where it's not that interesting.

What does seem to have potential to me are the lines that introduce conflict: "It's not complicated", "waiting to hear those three words". Yet they're currently glossed over by all the mushy stuff. These emotions are more intriguing. What is it like to love someone but they won't say "I love you"? That could be interesting to explore.

To develop this, I'd get more specific in the verses. How does the speaker feel safe with "you"? What places or objects symbolize the relationship? An actual storyline would make this more unique and connect with the reader/listener better.

One more minor critique: you mention kissing the cheek at the end, which seemed strange to me. It's more platonic-sounding than romantic. Some cultures kiss on the cheek as a standard greeting.

Overall, this song has a good flow, but I think it could be more developed to make it stand out from the many many love songs already out there. Keep writing! :)




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Sun Jun 30, 2013 12:20 am
ArcticMonkey wrote a review...



Hiya Katie! I will be reviewing your lyrics this fine review day :D

Okay, so firstly I usually have this thing against love songs. I mean I know essentially basically all songs are love songs, but the more obvious ones really get to me (gosh, I sound miserable xD) but I thought that this one was actually really nice! Although there are a few things I didn’t particularly like about it which I’ll mention later, I thought it was really sweet. I think it was something which is relatable so your fans would be singing along, and a really nice message!

As for critiques, I really don’t wanna say this but I thought it was a bit cheesy. I mean the lyrics’ main message is ‘I love you’ but is it possible this could be said in a different way? I’m not saying using a different phrase, but using this as the main repetition part- I’ve seen this too many times! I think it should be mentioned, but not as the main part? And maybe with the rest of this lyrics you can add more of a personal touch rather than things I’ve heard people say before.

Another thing I want to mention, now it’s not much of a concern because generally it was alright, but sometimes I thought the metre and flow was a bit off. And because this is a song, you want to make sure it works the melody and the music.
I hope this helped! If you do have a melody for this, I’d love to hear it! I’m somewhat of a song-writer too :P

Keep lyricing!
-Arc x





The mind of man is capable of anything - because everything is in it, all the past as well as all the future.
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness