Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
Sidney's P.O.V:
While at the restaurant, I was on a date with a handsome guy named Jeff Turner. We met at Jamie's party when Jamie introduced us. We laughed at each other's jokes and flirted with each other. I really enjoyed being with him, but I am not ready for another relationship. I decided to tell him.
As the waitress went to their table to get their cash and walked off, Jeff looked at Sidney as he get closer to her. Sidney got a bit nervous about what is going to happen. She felt him rubbing her thighs gently which it made her blushed. Jeff puts his face close to hers as she felt his light breathing on her neck.
"Sidney, you are a beautiful person. I really enjoyed this date with you," Jeff said.
"Oh, yeah, me too," Sidney replied.
"I think we need another date."
Jeff kept on rubbing her thighs as she blushed ever more. She really likes him, but she is just not ready for another date. She needs to tell him that she is not interested.
"Look, I need to tell you something..."
"Yes?"
Jeff gave her a gently smile.
"Jeff, you are a sweet and funny guy. I enjoyed our date, I really do. However, I think we should break up," Sidney explained.
Jeff got upset after Sidney told him that she is not interested. He wasn't mad or wants to punch her. He was upset and needs a another chance. Then, he got an idea. Sidney turned to leave, but Jeff grabbed her arm. Sidney stared back at him.
"Jeff, what are you-"
He started to sing a song for Sidney to give him another chance. She started to walk off to outside as Jeff followed her, singing. She wants him to leave her alone as she gets in her car. She started to drive off as Jeff stopped singing.
That was a great and embarrassing date.
Jessica's P.O.V
While our mum is on a date, we watch movies as we wait for our mum. Then, we heard the door opened and closed. We looked back and saw mum walked in. We hope that the date is great.
The family ran to their mum with excited. They were ready for answers. Is it good or not? Well, they don't know. They just want answers!
"So, mum, how's the date?" asked Stephanie.
Sidney looked at her children. She looked sleepy and tried.
"It was great..." Sidney said before she went to the stairs.
The children looked at each other. Mary went up to her mother.
"Mum, is your date terrible?" asked Mary.
Sidney looked at Mary and sighed.
"Mary, the date is not terrible. I just didn't want to go in a relationship with anyone else. I don't want to have more children like I did with my exes. I'm sorry. I just can't do it!"
Sidney ran upstairs and went to her room. The children looked at each other.
"What are we going to do? We know that our mum is lonely. She needs a boyfriend," said Eddie.
"I know, Eddie. We tried to get her hooked up, but she don't want to be in relationship with anyone. We got to have a plan," said Tinkerbelle.
"Well...how about we get our fathers to hook up with mum?" said Daisy nervously.
The children looked at Daisy.
"What?!" shouted all before Vera came out of the crowed toward Daisy.
"What?! Are you crazy?! Daisy, that's a bad idea! What happen if she don't even like them?" yelled Vera.
"Well, she have to. She doesn't like the guys who she is dating so how about she date one of our fathers. It is like a dating game. We need to wait if she likes one of them. It will be a great idea," replied Daisy.
"Well, that might be a great idea," said Harry as she put his hand on his mouth.
"What? Really?" questioned Mary as her eyebrow went up.
"Yeah, Daisy did have a good point. We just need to get our daddies to date her , and we will see if one of our daddies will be mum's boyfriends. Anyone agreed with Daisy's plan?"
Everyone agreed with Daisy. Harry smiled at them.
"Let's get mum a date!"
[Well, this is little terrible. Well, I tried my best.]
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hello Pinkie, Wolf here for a review.
I'm sorry to say, but this didn't seem very realistic at all. It didn't make very much sense, because as it seemed like this is their first day (maybe?) and he's already all over her. Also, the brake up is vey strange, I didn't even get that they were a couple.
Then the children? It's impossible to tell what ages they are, but I'm under the impression that they are young, like 5 to 8. I don't see the point of setting their mother up with a date, especially with their dads. I also assume that these are her biological children, so wasn't she already with their fathers? This just seems so confusing.
Alright, I wanted to mention as well that this story contains a lot of sentence starters in the same way. They all (for the most part) start with 'I did this. I did that. She did this.' Maybe you could use more variety, with dependent clauses and less pronouns. Don't worry though, lots of people have this problem and its overall, easy to fix.
I found it very odd that right in the middle of everything, the perspective was changed, and when it was changed not one Jessica was mentioned. I didn't see the point of this. It more over just confused me than anything else.
Your writing has a lot of potential, and I know you can grow to become a great writer! Just keep at if, and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare
I get it fix. Also, the story is about the children tried to get to date her exes to be who is the one for. And the some of them is older (26-14) and younger(12-6). Plus, I tried to make it funny. Finally, it is back story of them. Then, I tell the story about it.
SO. If a guy who I was dating after I had a series of serious relationships was stroking my leg during dinner, and I wasn't interested at all in him and wanted to end the relationship? I would NOT be amused and give him The Look so that he quickly deflated and stopped touching me. Seriously. And, he would probably guess that I wasn't happy and wanted to end the relationship in the first place, because I wouldn't be leading him on by being so happy when he stroked me. I would be nervous and calculating in my head, "Okay, so how should I end this without too much trouble?" And he would see that I really wasn't paying attention to him and think, "Something's wrong!" So, a chain reaction of awkwardness would totally happen.
Also, I think if someone were so prepared to have me break up with him that he would just start singing to get me back... that would a little odd. I mean, if he thought the date was actually GOING somewhere, he might be a little shocked and put off, not ready to serenade me! Though, it does make an amusing image. XD
ANYWAY. The date seemed a bit odd.
Also, it does seem a bit weird that her main reason for stopping the romance is because she doesn't want anymore children. Unless, they had previously talked about children before, and he was adamant of wanting children, and she wasn't. But, it doesn't look like a very deep relationship, especially since he asked her for another date. That happens for the first couple of dates, but after a while, you just go ahead and schedule it, because that's the cool thing to do!
Also, the kids' attempts are going to fail misssssssssssserably. xD I can just tell! How old are they anyway? Maybe it'll backfire on them and they'll get dates instead, if they are old enough? We can only hope!
Yeah, of course they are going to fail; however one of father will be one of Sidney's crushes. I can't tell you. Anyway, some of them is older and younger. Some of them have boyfriends and girlfriends. Also, I tried to make things weird. Glad you enjoyed it.