A sonnet

This is a nicely written sonnet. You have kept the form, rhythm and metre to a high degree and your rhymes are nicely chosen. The last two lines, however, are by far the strongest (maybe because heroic couplets sound better). I don't understand the second line - I would consider re-writing it. Otherwise a solid poem!

Sonnet! My tutor last year was obsessed with sonnets and I've always been a bit off and on with them so when he told us we had to write one, I was really obnoxious and reversed the iamb so that I could write a sonnet about hate and of course I wrote something witty about how I really didn't like writing sonnets. Out of respect to my tutor it never made it into my final portfolio and was in fact deleted from my computer. But! Weirdly enough I'm now vaguely fond of the form so I'm more than happy to review one!

Specifics

1. The first line is a tad awkward. I'm struggling to think of suggestions to improve it though. Perhaps it's the word 'darling' or the reverse syntax? I'm not sure! Oh, it's the practised and dark that isn't working - read it out loud. So to fix it, how about something like 'My darling trained in dark arts I am sure'.

2. I'm not sure about the tap of keys reference. I love a good writing metaphor as much as the next person, but it seems oddly modern here as tap suggests a laptop/ computer. If it was the press of keys, that would be more universal and lean closer to a piano or organ which would be more fitting with the sonnet format.

3. The fourth line is very awkward and difficult to read. I think you need to replace 'thinking' with 'but think' to smooth out the flow.

4. Lines five and six are fine rhythmically but not as interesting as the others. Those are probably your weakest.

5. Who is this 'she' suddenly introduced in line seven? That comes out of nowhere and I have no idea who it's referring to so you need to tidy that up.

6. I have no fault with bliss! Change the 'just' in the last line for 'but' and you've got yourself a solid ending.

Overall

I like it! I only have a few things to complain about and I've covered them all in the specifics. For the most part your rhythm is good and it has a strong theme, mostly easy to follow and a nice play on wit/ tone throughout. Good stuff!

Keep it up and feel free to ask any questions you might have,

Heather xxx

Hey, Piegeon, I loved this sonnet! I've been toying with the notion of writing one myself, in fact, and I have a vague idea in mind, but putting pen-to-paper has proven to be my downfall so far.

Anyway, I'm digressing, I'll review instead now!

- The imagery was excellent throughout the poem and the aural imagery of "first tap of keys" really sets up an intimate tone, but not overtly so, rather in a pleasant, unobtrusive way.
Well, like I've already mentioned the references to magic and the dark arts just adds that little '4th dimension' to this piece that love, or falling in love, tends to allude to.
I could go on, but I think I'll stop after saying that the imagery really is top-class and helps create a rich, neat piece.

- I'm glad that you chose iambic pentameter and decided to stick with it. Gosh, from experience I know how hard it is to switch words, or omit words, in order to keep the rhythm of the poem and not upset the flow, but gladly that didn't occur here. Your poem flows gracefully, to the great benefit of the piece as a whole - so well done!

- The tone? Love. What more needs said?

I think I've said enough, already and despite trying I don't think I can pick a fault in this sonnet, it truly is terrific!

Don't stop writing!

This is breathtaking, i have studied sonnets for over a year, and i can assure you they are really hard to master, but you did a wonderful job.
Your language is profound in meaning and simple in understanding.

I can see that you know your sonnet, the iambic feet is correct , the rhyme scheme, the couplets and the quatrains.

I have only one request : WRITE MORE!!! I loved it and i can not wait to see more of your sonnets don't stop.
you'll get reviewed a lot and sometimes it will be harsh but never stop writing.
keep going buddy

Grinning like a maniac. #everyoneshipsJemaia