A song was running in my head,
A thought I couldn’t stay.
But now that I am ready
It seems to have gone away.
.
A story was swimming in my heart,
Strange and fathomless.
Settled down on paper,
It’s changed to dreariness.
.
It won’t be convenient,
I have to fight for every line.
Either it flows like water,
Or
it’s all a climb.
.
An hour I’ve been sitting here,
Bored out of my mind.
This poem won’t be written,
Not even one line.
.
I thought of wine and water.
Of beginnings and ends.
I messed around with crossroads.
With women and men.
.
Five pages of lines,
None of which connect.
Just mere outlines of stories
That
died out of neglect.
.
As I go to burn the papers,
The papers I now hate,
I hope it goes up quickly.
Better sooner than late.
.
As flames eat the edges,
My mind fills with light.
The words flow together
Before rising up into the night.
.
Oops.
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139,231 Literary Works • 672,517 Reviews
Haha I love this poem. Its pretty funny and I think it describes the feeling of what we all feel.
Thanks, and btw I actually have five pages of random bits of poetry. I was trying to write, but it ended up not to work. But at least I got this out of it, right?
Aww, yeah. This is good.
Thanks!
Welcome .
Hello Pickled Chrissy,
I connect with this poem on a spiritual level. Especially the first two stanzas. There's really nothing I can say that hasn't already been said for critiquing. But as for praise, I'm full of that. I agree with mountainclimber that the imagery is especially strong in this poem, which makes it all that better. And I love the ending how one word can be so simple yet carry the weight of all the forgotten stories in your brain.
Great humorous poem, it made me chuckle!
-Incohesive Scribbles
Thanks, Scribbles! I hadn't actually intended to post it, but someone was nagging me to, so I did. I guess it was better than I thought.
This is so true! I pretty much agree with everyone else, this is a great way to describe writer's block! I also agree with Tigerlily37 on the third stanza, a bit of rewording to straighten it out a bit? But anyways, I really don't have any suggestions. I loved the imagery you used in each stanza and how creative you were. I hope you keep writing, you did a great job!
Thanks, Mountainclimber! I'll take a look at the third stanza.
This is a great way to show writers block. I also like how you incorporated flowing like water or a climb. I feel the same way about writing just not as poetic. Loved it.
-Aylisha
Thanks, Aylisha! Welcome to YWS!
I think this is a really great way to describe how frustrating writing can be. Having all these thoughts going through your head, but not at the time when it's most convenient. I like the imagery, and how each stanza (is that correct? hopefully..) has it's own mood and mindset. Good job I really enjoyed this, sorry I don't have any "constructive criticism"
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it, and yes that is correct. It's called a stanza. Welcome to YWS, btw.
I think this is a really great way to describe how frustrating writing can be. Having all these thoughts going through your head, but not at the time when it's most convenient. I like the imagery, and how each stanza (is that correct? hopefully..) has it's own mood and mindset. Good job I really enjoyed this, sorry I don't have any "constructive criticism"
This was a brilliant way to describe how frustrated we can get as writers. One thought after the next, yet none of it really seems to come together or even sound right. Great job with your description!
As for the nitpicks, I feel like in the third stanza,
"It wont be convenient,
I have to fight for every line.
Either it flows like water,
Or its all a climb."
I feel like the last line somehow interrupts the flow... Perhaps a change of wording would help a bit.
Anyways, you did an excellent job! Keep writing, I look forward to reading more of your works.
Thanks, Tigerlilly! I'll take a look at it and see what I can do.
No problem, it was a pleasure to read it! If you change it, just leave a message on my wall and I'll come take another look at it.
Okay!