Serene Dream
Something so seldom seen,
Gleam and Glint
It was heaven sent,
Someday soon
Bride and groom,
Life Amazed,
To be wife was crazed
While strife held its gaze
My sorrow exhumed
You fled once my heart said,
Red bled now instead
Dread and loneliness wed,
Eyes cries as demise loomed
Bloom doom from gloom
As I let my rage fill the room,
Womb to tomb
Within my cage I am consumed
All the while
My mind's got that deep thought,
Frail the smile
While mine ought to keep not,
Drop of tears
Fears creep as I weep a lot,
Am I insane what is this pain?
Memories haunt
Look what my brain has brought.
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140,799 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
Hiya Philosopha (cool username). Here to review your poem~
So, I think the best part of this poem is how you've executed the rhyming here. I've read loads of poems where the rhyming feels forced and I'm always saying '/sometimes/ rhyming works', well I think that this is one of those times. Real good job, because although on the surface rhyming might look easy, it's actually pretty hard!
Moving onto improvements now,
I don't really like this line, because the language just seems a bit basic here compared to the rest and I think you could use something a bit more exciting.
I feel here that there needs to be a comma in between 'insane' and 'what'.
Also, I'm not quite understanding the message, like there are all these random words and phrases being used and I'm not entirely sure what the poem is about. Obviously with poetry is doesn't necessarily have to make sense, however there needs to be a meaning behind all of your choices and right now I'm not really seeing it. I mean how else with the kids in schools of the future analyse your poetry?
Generally, this was a really cool poem and you've executed the rhyming technique really well. Next steps would be to clear up the subject of it a bit more. I certainly hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions that you have or if you'd like another review.
Keep on writing!
-Arc x
Thanks for the feedback and I'm glad you have taken such a close look. Rhyming is a tricky business indeed
Hi there
Just keep writing 
I thought this was absolutely wonderful:) You're rhyming was great it felt very natural. The flow of the poem is very nice. And I like that you have three stanza with exactly the same length
The wording of the poem was just beautiful, I especially like the last stanza
The poem is very emotional, you are really good at getting feeling across, while it also descripes an event
The ending was very powerful, I liked it alot, the perfect way to end it
Overall, amazing job, I look forward to reaading more from you
Thanks for the feedback
I really appreciate it 
Thanks for the feedback
I really appreciate it 
Love the way it is so descriptive and the depth and feeling it brings when reading it. Well done indeed!
Thanks, that means a lot
I really appreciate the exterior simplicity of this poem that actually hides a lot of emotional depth. Those sort of poems are really breathtaking and additive to read.
Spot on.
Thanks for the feedback
I'm happy you liked it.
I liked it, I see that you probably put a lot of effort into this poem. I'm not sure of how poetry is taught where you're from but in Iceland we have many forms and rules we need to follow in poetry.
I can see many forms of poetry in just one poem here. I find it very amusing, for my teacher would have me on my knees for this (no, not literally). For example
"My sorrow exhumed
You fled once my heart said,
Red bled now instead
Dread and loneliness wed,
Eyes cries as demise loomed
Bloom doom from gloom
As I let my rage fill the room,
Womb to tomb
Within my cage I am consumed"
This is one form where you rhyme two lines in a row and then you,
"All the while
My mind's got that deep thought,
Frail the smile
While mine ought to keep not,
Drop of tears
Fears creep as I weep a lot,
Am I insane what is this pain?
Memories haunt
Look what my brain has brought."
do this and rhyme every other line. This was a great poem don't misunderstand me. Good punctuation, grammar and vocabulary!
Great job! -IceSaga
Those two stanzas were actually separate pieces before. I tried to tweak it a bit, but I couldn't resist combining the two with the new first stanza. Overall I think it melded together quite well. Thanks for the review
I appreciate it.
I love this! The rhyming is really great
Thanks! Happy to hear your feedback