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125,003 Literary Works • 672,791 Reviews
I really loved it even though I thought it was kinda cliche. It was very beautifully written. It was cheesy, but in a good way. But there is one thing that I would like to point out
So stay with love
And keep a warm heart
So send love
And make someone smile
So keep love
And feel whole
I agree with LittleFox and there shouldn't be so many so's, but other than that, I think it is a wonderful poem! Keep writing!
That really means a lot. Thank you. The feed back was great! %u2665
Its cheesy and cliche but I still enjoyed reading it. I can relate to this with the relationship I have right now. I enjoyed how you matched up your first three paragraphs with your last three paragraphs and how you did everything in groups of threes which keeps the reader more entertained.
I know, I know cheesy and cliche... I'm working on it! Thanks for the feedback!
Don't worry too much about your works being cheesy, sometimes cheesy is really very sweet. And if what you're writing is true, then so what if its a bit cheesy? I like this poem a lot and I think almost everyone can agree with it. I don't espeacialy like the last six lines, I think it'd sound a tad bit better without the so's. But that's not my call. Overall I think this is very well written and very true. For a first, this is great. My first poem was so...messy, haha.
Thank you sooooo much for the feedback! I'll edit it... ^_^ <3
P.S. Thanks for not making me feel bad about the chessieness... tehe
I got rid of a lot of the so's hope it better now...