Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Okay one more review
Don't I know the feeling?
Clever.
This is cute. I'd agree, not the most sensational or thought provoking piece but sometimes stuff like this is what we need to clear our minds. I write like this all the time, trying to move the pencil myself and hoping the words will form themselves that way. I'm a big fan of repetition and I think you use that line repeatedly well. Sometimes lines can get over/misused when they have an intent like this but this line is good. There's some obvious spelling mistakes and there's grammar that needs to be corrected but it's all minor, I could still figure out what you were getting at and figured you could fix it on your own through an edit. Good job though, I hoped it opened the block
Change says peace!
Haha thanks! I think I wrote this 1- 1 1/2 years ago. I think. Thanks for the tips! Glad you liked it!
Writer's block can be the mother of the silliest and the most beautiful things. Now I can't say this is one of those beautiful mind blowing pieces, but it made me smile and gave a reminder that writer's block is NOT the immortal weapon designed by the supervillain known as But really a point where you aren't sure where to take an idea, if you have one yet that is. Thank you, keep writing
Thanks very much! Glad sumone liked this... Heh. ^ _^
Hello.
So, I like the overall concept of the poem. It's simple and cute, much like a child's poem. Good job. There are some grammar problems though. Please read my review and consider fixing these issues.
Nitpick 1: [quote="PeaceLuvPoems]
Maybe an adventure?
Or one of them mysteries?
I could have a sword,
a fighting a dragon.[/quote]
The things in bold, you need to get rid of because they are incorrect and they make no sense.
Nitpick 2:
The stanzas with the one word: I really didn't like those. Now, if it was one word only that ended with an exclaimation mark, question mark, or period, now that's a different story. See, those would be independant clauses and could stand on their own. But the ones ending in a comma, those just ruin the entire verse in my opinion. I think it would be wise if you continues on after te comma instead of starting another stanza.
That's really all I have to say. Nice work on everything and keep writing.
- Ariel.<3
Well I messed up on the quoted part. But you get the idea, no? xD
Yeah, I get it. Thank you very much for the feed back. I'll fix it. But I am really glad that you liked most of it!
Okay, so I fixed all stuff you pointed out (And I'm glad you did! I wasn't quite sure about the flow of this poem before...) and I hope you like it even more now! Again, thank you sooo much for the feedback!