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Bitter Goodbye

by Panda11


Aghhh... I feel like I did very poorly on this one, but it was a heat of the moment thing, and I really felt the need to share it. So I hope you enjoy, despite the many flaws.

~~~~~

All the thoughts I wasted on you

All the times I shouldn't have cried.

You don't get to push me around no more

You don't get to make me feel that way, no.

I'm looking for a new beginning

I need you to see how mean your being.

Thank you for the time you gave me

Thank you for the memories.

Lets move along now, forget the past and leave it behind.

'Cause i don't want to lose you

But i won't let you pull me down, so

I might always love you

But i don't fell I'll ever be yours, my friend

 this don't have to be a bitter goodbye.


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45 Reviews


Points: 2501
Reviews: 45

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Fri May 19, 2017 9:39 pm
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Jurelixranoanad wrote a review...



Hi, J here for a review.
I enjoyed this poem because you did a good job expressing emotion in a releatable way. My favorite line in this poem was the last one, it adds a ton of effect and ties the flow together. In general this was a beautiful, well-written, and lyrical poem that I enjoyed in full. There was a few spelling and grammar mistakes but I think DragonNoir covered them all. Over all this was an amazing piece worthy of praise!

Good Job and Keep Writing!!




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36 Reviews


Points: 384
Reviews: 36

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Fri May 19, 2017 8:54 pm
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DragonNoir wrote a review...



Hello! DragonNoir here for a review!

I really like the theme you used here, it's kind of relateable in a way. That last line is awesome and has a lot of effect. In general, the entire poem is awesome! However, I did see a few mistakes:
"this don't have to..." The 't' in 'this' should be capitalised.
"... how mean your being." 'your' should be changed to 'you're'.
"But i don't fell..." The 'i' needs to be capitalised and 'fell' is probably supposed to mean 'feel'.
"Lets move along..." 'Lets' is short for 'let us', so it should have a apostrophe after the 't'.
Another mistake is you wrote this in a rush. You should never write things in a rush, otherwise you will end up making silly mistakes. Give yourself more time next time.

But don't let your mistakes keep you down! This piece absolutely amazing in almost every way!

Overall, a great poem, but you can try to not write things in a hurry to prevent any mistakes.
I hope my review helped! :)





Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.
— Sir James Dewar, Scientist