What Would You Do?

Ha! This story needs to be fleshed out and expanded! Like, who is, or what is, this creature? How did the young man get into his predicament in the first place? Where’s family? Does he even have one? Were they killed? Are in some post apocalypse? So many questions. I bet this story could be epic if it was worked on. Thank you for sharing it.

I like this - it's a fun concept. I think the twist pays off and is funny - you've balanced horror+comedy well in my opinion, so props for that
i almost feel stupid writing a real review for this (as it's clearly comedy) but that's what i'm about to do, so here goes

After reading your first story, I assumed this would be a similar kind of story with horror +horror-related imagery - which definitely helped the joke pay off lol. The use of second person's usually not used (and usually for good reason), but it really works here, due to the short length and comedy aspect (second person can also be really good for horror too - which is part of what makes the first paragraph so effective)

I like the similies for descriptions in the first paragraph. You also create a really good atmosphere + convey the fear/panic the protagonist is feeling in the second paragraph

this is a simple +funny story, thanks for sharing I'll definitely be checking out stuff you write in the future

I honestly wasn't sure whether to be shocked or laugh when the creature first introduced themselves. I loved the plot twist near the end. I was honestly expecting for the main character to get eaten alive, but nope. Trivia. The creature also has a sudden mood change, which I also liked. In the beginning, we think we're in immediate danger, and t the end, we're still questioning whether we're in true danger or not. You've managed to change my mood on the story in such a short amount of time. Overall, it's a really good story.

Hi OneMage Army, Broady here with a quick review.

Firstly, just wanna say that this is a really interesting story. The story immediately begins in the introduction without any proper opening, which intrigues us readers to read on. In addition to that, from the first paragraph, I can tell the story is really thrilling, since the main character was already running and seemingly trying to avoid being caught by an unknown pursuer.

Secondly, the short story is really descriptive, especially in the second paragraph.

"You slam the door shut, and lock it, your body moving faster and faster as the seconds pass, with your heart quaking and pumping fear into your veins instead of blood. Your body resists its urge to freeze in terror, and you force your heavy arms to jam the keys into their place and start the car."

It brings out the main part of this short story, in a sense, and also perfectly shows us that the main character was in a state of frenzy and panic, trying to get the car moving and escape the scene. But, moving on deeper into the story, the main character was eventually caught by the pursuer.

Finally, that cliffhanger is excellent. It attracts and intrigues us readers to want to read more about the story, so that we can find out what happens next to the main character, and why the creature said "Why did you get involved?".

Overall, a fantastic short story, keep up the good work man!

Hi,

This is an exciting snippet of a story. After reading it, I felt like it was a nightmare that the main character could possibly be having with a game show left running on TV somewhere in the background ( which explains the game show host-like introduction: “I’m John Quinones! And this is ‘What Would You Do?’”)

The story is fast-paced and I like that. I did feel like the sentence length and the divisions within the sentences slowed the pace. Shorter ones would quicken the pace more.
I felt that this "...and yet it feels like years. " was hyperbolic. Maybe, you could have described it some other way, like, "it's only a few seconds to get to your car but it feels like your feet fail to run as fast as you want them to"... or..."It's only a few seconds to get to your car but the distance suddenly seems increased as you keep running, taking longer and longer to reach your car." Just an opinion, feel free to ignore it.

Overall, it's a cool story. If it were a more developed one, it would definitely be a gripping read.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well, this story really intrigued me here...especially the use of second person which I can safely say that I've never run into before in something other than a choose your adventure story. Its was really interesting.

Anyway let's get right to it,

You dash out of the rotting cabin like it's on fire, jumping over the few porch steps and land running onto old, worn stone and do your best not to slip. It's only a few seconds before you get to your car, and yet it feels like years. But once you finally get there you quickly unlock the driver’s side door and frantically stuff yourself into the seat.

You slam the door shut, and lock it, your body moving faster and faster as the seconds pass, with your heart quaking and pumping fear into your veins instead of blood. Your body resists its urge to freeze in terror, and you force your heavy arms to jam the keys into their place and start the car. But just as soon as your engine rumbles with life, the driver’s side door is ripped off and thrown away. It’s too late. The creature grabs you by the throat and yanks you out with ease, holding you in front of it just off the ground.

It hoists you up higher, inspecting you like the prey you are, and it grins widely.

“Hi!” its charming voice says, clear as day. “I’m John Quinones! And this is ‘What Would You Do?’”

He grips your throat tighter, cutting off all access to oxygen His tone switched from charismatic, to angry.

“So tell me…”

His eyes lock with yours and your soul is pierced by them. Pierced to its very core.

“Why did you get involved?”

Hi there! Lezuli here with a short review for you. Now, to start off, I would like to say that I enjoyed this story. It was short, but it still had a great story(and a nice branching point for a larger story). You did a fine job of instilling a frantic vibe and the 'game-show host' energy the monster has is a nice contrast to the rest of the story.
And now for my reviews.
So, let's start out with a simple grammatical one.

He grips your throat tighter, cutting off all access to oxygen His tone switched from charismatic, to angry.

His eyes lock with yours and your soul is pierced by them. Pierced to its very core.

Hi, hello, good morning good evening, good afternoon and goodnight as well as all the other pleasant things one expects in a greeting.
I don't often read short stories but yours drew me in. It was not what I expected from the title but it did not disappoint! Its short, its sweet, its funny it gives you just what you need in a story of this length. One suggestion I have, and its a fairly large one, is to instead of telling the story as if the reader is the character tell it from the perspective of an actual fictional character. It just might help the story flow a little bit better but as always whether you want to do that or not is entirely up to you. Thanks for the laugh your story gave me!

as always,
Wolf