Invisibility
Friends
They’re supposed to care.
Supposed to show you
How good you can be
But not for me.
As you can see.
Invisibility
It’s a power I possess.
In conversation, every day.
Most inconvenient
Not so lenient
Not in my agreement.
Convenient? No.
I feel invisible all the time.
Either right or wrong
No reason or rhyme.
But it’s the time
In this world of mine.
Who? No matter.
What friends I share
Who I talk to.
Just treat me
Oversee me
With invisibility.
Time is now
Can’t go on like this
It’s unfair and frustrating.
But I must cage
My fruitless rage
And turn the page.
Moving on is hard
Especially for me,
But this is the hardest.
To let go.
To say no.
To duck down low.
Below harsh society
And clueless family
And ignorant friends.
Who’ve I treated so great
It’s time for me to contemplate.
Shall I go or shall I wait?
No
Wait
Just a little while more.
As we pass through an open door
That leads to the core
Of my invisibility, never more.
Social Sense
A social sense of many
Is not true to me
As worthless as a penny
As useful as a key
Some may like to talk
Or text some one a lot
They may take a walk
Or see someone they fought
Not me, oh no
Not my by a long shot
Me, I duck down low
And I socialize not
It's a problem I admit
For me, myself, and I
I seem to be in a pit
Stuck in until I die
I seem stiff, rigid, and tense
But it's only my social sense.
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140,541 Literary Works • 673,412 Reviews
Hi, NympheaLily! Mage here to review your poem! So let's get to it, shall we?
I really like how you conveyed this message. It's one that I can relate to myself; some of us just fade into the background when we're going through our own troubles, despite always being there for our loved ones. It's hard to find a way to change that, and even harder to tell them the truth about how we've been feeling.
Your writing flows together nicely, and I couldn't spot any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes. You also did a wonderful job with the formatting of the poem, separating it into parts that should be grouped together.
Keep up the good work - which I doubt you'll have trouble with - and good luck on your writing endeavors! Have a great day/night!
Thanks Mage!
You're welcome!
Very lovely and a sort of harmony to it that flows so beautifully. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, I completely understand and relate. If this is how you feel, the best poetry comes from the writer's true thoughts, then know you have someone who will listen. The idea of being invisible I think is truly terrifying, from the person that can no longer be seen to the people who can't see. We as humans hate the unknown and practically beg for understanding. When we find something that doesn't make sense, we struggle to make it work. In H.G. Wells "The Invisible Man" he addresses this topic and I think you have found a similar way to make it send shivers up your spine. All around, amazing work.
Thanks!
Oh my god. This is wonderful, the rhythm, the feeling. Just wow maaaan. How did you write that? And make it so long for that matter. Guess who can't poem? ME! So it's hard for me to fathom doing more then 3 lines of one, but you've gone above and beyond that! And woot woot to you! Also, and a less annoyingly peppy note, I know how it is to be in a one sided friendship, in fact that's why I just joined this website. My "friends" couldn't care less about my fantasy epic, but here I'm hoping to find people who do. And you've found that because I empathize in ways I can't even describe with this poem.
Yeah. I kinda feel that way too. Except for Junel down there
First of all this is really great. The way that you are able to connect with the reader so well is amazing. That is not always easy. Your rhyming is also very well done and not to overwhelming. Your vocabulary is great and shows your intelligence. I saw no errors and I read over it multiple times.
I didn't realize it was you who wrote this until I looked back up, but even before I did you were one of the first people I thought of as I read it. I didn't realize you were such a great poet! I hope to read lots more of poetry done by you.