We are separated by colors. Gold is the highest color, and Pink is the lowest color. However, there are lower then Pink. The lowers are called Aurades, they are a band of misfits that have come together. They strongly oppose the color separation.
There are three groups within the Aurades, the TwoMarks, the Abandoned, and the rarest group, which currently has only one animal, the MultiColor.
TwoMarks are animals with two marks on either side of their face. Most TwoMarks are given up at an early age, but very few get the chance to be generals in the army of Colors. TwoMarks always get a dog tag that has the mark of another from the same color ranking. The TwoMarks are generally fast, and the color that gets them the most is Green. The color that gets them the least is Red.
Abandoneds are animals that are given up at birth due to a birth defect. They get a dog tag of an animal from a color higher than them. The animal they get their dog tag from has the job to hunt the Abandoned down, and kill them. Abandoneds are stealthy, and mostly hide in the shadows. The color that gets them the most is Blue. The color that gets them the least is Red.
The MultiColor is the leader of the Aurades. He is called Lava, and he has three colors. His name was given to him due to his three colors, which are Red, Orange, and Yellow. No one really knows much about him. He mostly gives orders to the two co-leaders. The most anyone really knows is his dog tag has a Red mark, which leads us to believe that he was born into the Red rank.
The Color rankings were determined long ago, by the founders of the ColorPool. The ColorPool compelled them to jump into the pool. They did as they thought was right, and they gained a marking that was the color of their eyes. There were 14 animals that did this deed.
The first was a Lion named Derouq. His eye color was Gold. He established the highest ranking color. The second was a Black Bear named Auberon. He made the second highest ranking color, Green. The third was a Raven named Myst. She made the third highest ranking color, Silver. The fourth was a Cobra named Fiero, and he established the Red rank, the fourth highest. The fifth was a Ram named Comet. He made the fifth rank, Black. Rider was the sixth, and he established the Orange rank. He was a Grey Wolf. The seventh was a Spotted Owl, with the name Opal, and she made the Blue rank. The eighth was a Horse with Grey eye color. She was named Xena. The ninth was a fox named Vixt, and he made the Yellow rank. The tenth was a Tiger that made the White rank, her name was Saber. The eleventh was Kakien, an Otter that made the Purple rank. The twelfth was a Raccoon named Arch, and she made the Pink rank.
The thirteenth was Dog named Haru. She got the color Red as well, but she was driven out by the others, because she got Two markings. The fourteenth was a Rabbit named Kain. He was missing a left paw, and he was also driven away.
Now everything is different then what the founders though it would be. The Gold's have taken over, and they are treated like royalty. The army is only made up of the first five colors, and any color under is either a normal animal, or they are tested for their strength. If they are chosen due to their strength, they become apart of the army.
The Aurades, started but Haru and Kain, have grown stronger, and they are a threat to the Colors now. The Gold's have finally taken notice of the rising threat, and they aim to finally wipe them out. To do this, they use the Dog tags that were given to the outcasts...
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Hello. I am Cookie64 and I will be reviewing.
You're story line is very entertaining and unique. I can't even begin to describe the absolute abstractness of this piece of work, but since I am writing a review, I must try.
I absolutely adore the idea of a rebellion in the mist of an unfair and quite unjust society. It makes me want to root for the underdog more than anything. It also opens the reader's mind to similar situations in the realistic world and for that, I am forever grateful for writers like you. I am also one that appreciates the many different colors of nature and when I found out that you were combining them into an entire color army, I just lost my mind. The names of your characters are also something that got my good foot. I have never heard any of these names before EVER! That constitutes the utmost creativity in a writer. I am very pleased to have read it and I hope you continue to use this much creativity in your works. Good day.
-Cookie64
Hello there.
Beginning this positive, this concept is captivating yet intriguing. But beware: class prejudice has been touched upon many times before, so be sure to keep the element of originality close at hand.
In terms of writing style, there's not much to be said. It's a prologue, and it's meant to draw the reader in. So I'd suggest a wider vocabulary. For instance, "that have come together" could be revised into "that have bonded in their rejection" or "that have united under their burden." Something like that. The reason you'd want to do this is because, as it is, the story is simply relaying information, without much flair. Phrases that invoke a mental image can usually tide the reader over until the action. It really depends on what style and mood you're going for, so ultimately, it's up to you.
I don't see any grammar mistakes, and spelling can easily be straightened out. Overall, this is an excellent concept, so far brilliantly portrayed, and one that I hope to see develop in the future. Cheers.
-Chaser
Okay, so as I usually review poems this novel thing is a sorta new thing for me, but I do want to review this piece to just give some feedback
. How about I shut up and start reviewing lol.
So, for creativity you recurve an A. I have never seen an idea like this before. It's so crazy that I loved it. This story has a lot of potential mostly because this idea has really never been seen before (for as much as I know) and that gives this story the extra edge it needs.
Because this is the prologue I totally understand that you have to get the information set before you start the actual story. I am glad that boy gave me, the reader, this information because otherwise I would most likely go into chapter one totally confused. So yeah, this is very helpful.
Because this is a lot of information I am happy that you made this shorter. While this topic is new and very exciting dropping an information bomb can be boring. So, I am glad that you left it at this length. It is in my opinion the perfect length.
As you go throughout your novel I just have a few suggestions. You obviously do not need to take them considering this is your piece. I suggest making an overall outline so writers block doesn't totally freak you out. I think that having an outline is super helpful and it gets all your ideas down on a paper rather than floating in your mind.
Next, never give up on your story. Writ g a novel is tough for me personally. I'm so hyped at the beginning and then I start to lose interest the further mad further I go into the story. I just want you to know that you shouldn't stop writing, especially because your idea is so uniqe and I think a lot of people would enjoy reading it!
Overall, you have fantastic ideas and I hope that you write more! I would love to read it!
Keep writing bro.
~#41