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140,179 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
I put tremendous thought into this and here is my opinion. What I got from this was pure affection and loyalty. I also think this has a compassionate appeal to it. "a gaze that sets me alight" I believe this particular line conveys that the gaze from her eyes comforts him during hard times her eyes are a reminder of true beauty and value of life. "And the crinkle that warms my cold heart" I really love this line because it tells me that when he feels down or evil minded , her eyes steers him back to the sweet and sensitive person that he really is. This is how I see it, although I believe this poem says so much more. This is awesome.
Thank you! I'm really honored. ^^
But it's a girl who's talking about a guy's eyes. Just wanted to put that out there.
Oh ok sorry
Wow, for not writing poetry really often it's very good. The poem is simple, but means a lot in the descriptions. My favorite line must be, "'And the crinkle that warms my cold heart.'" It reminds me of this book I read called the cupcake queen by Heather Helper. In the book, the main character notices every time this one guy smiles and whenever he does she thinks: Crinkle. Because his eyes crinkle when he smiles.
Anyways, great job. I encourage you to write more poetry.
-Jadefox
great job, you really decribed them and it was really well crafted keep writing poetry! Because you are great at it!!
Oh...what is your avatar of?
It's Naruto!
Great job! I enjoyed it! It's simple, beautiful, and absolutely heartwarming. You are a great writer, and I know you will get better and better (even though I don't know you
). The words helped paint a picture in my mind, and that is what I look for in the things I read, and your poem certainly did it! Keep writing!
I love it! :]
It's both simple and beautiful<3
And the flow of the poem is incredibly smooth. :]
Keep up the great work! ;D
Love your avatar! SO cute!!!
xD, thanks<3
Oooh, are you a Hetalia fan?
Beautiful truly beautiful you have a gift
That's so awesome! Write more poetry!
^^
D'awwww. It's adorable, and beautifully written. The lines flowed really well together, and for an area you don't find yourself particularly special in, it was very well done! I really liked it. Actually, I find it very relateable, personally.
Yours psychotically,
- thelocalmaniac
I'm glad you liked it!
Short and sweet. It's really good.
Really good details, although you got me slightly confused where you say "Sands, that swim around, beautifully blue" Are you saying this character has blue eyes, or sandy eyes?
Are you saying that there are different shades of blue, similar to sand grains... < this makes more sense to me, as you say "swim around" it's as though you are talking about that glitter glue that kids use... sorry to put it in those terms, but its the image that moulded together for me.
Other than that small confusion, this is a beautiful poem. Very romantic I would say.
Well done and good luck in your future writing!
Keep it up!
-Clarity.
Ps. The note at the start where you say you dont specialize in poems? Keep practicing. This is awesome, so if you can do this when its not your strongest point, then imagine what you're going to be able to do in a few years, if you just keep at it!
Wow. So many encouraging comments!
Oh, by that sand comment, I actually took reference from a close-up photo of an eye. If you check them up, you'll see that they're actually grainy swirls in some, and that reminded me of sand!
Thats the image i kind of had in my head! good description then!
good call on the last line....
eye crinkles are very endearing.
but... are the eyes blue or hazelish(sandy)
im a little unclear on that but otherwise this is a very short, cute little poem.
correction:
otherwise, it is a good poem.
and i know what you mean by not specializing in poems... i cant wrtite a poem to save my life. seriously: my poems are suckage major(lol- love that nerdy term.)
but youre pretty good at that!
I love it! When you find your soulmate, give this to them. It's so romantic...
I will!
I love poems that are short, but sweet, and poems like this are the reason. This manages to be descriptive, emotional, and beautiful all in one stanza. I can really picture the eyes, and that helps me feel the emotion that this poem is going for. If I were you, I would keep writing, especially if the rest of your work is anything like this.
Thanks! And don't worry, I'll keep writing! ^^
Okay. First off, I liked it. I really did. No jokes. Okay, on to the poem.
The first part:
"Haha, just felt like writing this, off true experiences. But I don't quite specialize in poems. Just prose. So, please take it easy on me. (Also, you can find this poem in my profile.)"
There is so much emotion, I can't explain. I loved that part so much, I wanted to visit your profile just to find your poem again.
The real poem:
"Forever, I will look upon your eyes
Unwavering, a gaze that sets me alight.
A sparkle that glitters, against all odds,
Sands, that swim around, beautifully blue
And the crinkle that warms my cold heart."
So much feeling. I want to see those eyes, cause they sound so beautiful. YOu really manage to put feelings into your handiwork, and that is shown throught the poem really clearly. Loved it.
Keep up the good work!
Love, Bob Walker!
Oh, thank you!
Pretty simple, but I like the kinda picture you make.
^u^
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