z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Faith.

by Nishi196


She hummed the tune of ''with or without you" on that bright, sunny April morning as she worked in her faded blue jeans and pink blouse; protected against the explosion of white flour and dough by her delicate, flowery apron.

Plain Vanilla cake with strawberries and melted chocolate. His favourite desert. She set the cake to bake, and stood there, imagining his arrival.

He would first enter the kitchen, knowing her so well. The way his green-blue eyes would lit up seeing her and the one-dimple smile over his square jaw. She imagined his crew cut, his straight posture and the warm air of safety around him. "Hey, You." were always his first words before the hug, walking over and just looking at her for a while.

The oven timer went off,calling her back to reality and she resumed her humming. This week was finally here. The one week his regiment got days off, the 7 days they saw each other, spending 358 days apart.

She picked up the ladle from the mixing bowl to pile it up with the other dishes when her eyes fell upon the navy blue file. On the cover was one label "Faith Johannson" below the "St. Marks Hospital" sign. She immediately placed it in the bottom-most drawer taken aback by her carelessness. He must not know why she looked so frail and tired, the black spots appearing on her arms, her unexplained weight loss, her hair falling in lumps. She wasn't ready for him to know just yet, they only had so little time together.

She resumed her cleaning, and smiled when she heard him step in the kitchen, standing there exactly as she had imagined, with his crew cut and straight posture.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
333 Reviews


Points: 189
Reviews: 333

Donate
Sun May 04, 2014 8:28 pm
retrodisco666 wrote a review...



Hey Retro here for a review!

Now, I don't usually review prose at all so please bare with me! :D I'm going to do a few nitpicks then talk about what I liked, okay? :)

'The way his green-blue eyes would lit up seeing her'

I'm pretty sure it should be 'light' not lit. Or if you did mean lit then i think you need to get rid of the would :)

I know I said nitpicks but it was really just the one thing. I must say this is beautiful. I think your imagery is really good. I love the idea and concept. I love the contrast between reality, and everything going on. I like how everything is constructed. Overall I think this is pretty damn fantastic, so you get a like!

Congrats!
Keep writing,
~Retro



Random avatar
Nishi196 says...


Oh my, not at all !
Thank you so much for pointing that out. I really appreciate it. :D
Im gonna ensure I dont repeat that.
Thank again.
I really appreciate the time you took to read it and pass a review. :)



User avatar
32 Reviews


Points: 1942
Reviews: 32

Donate
Sat May 03, 2014 9:36 pm
BrilliantMustaches wrote a review...



This is really good. Its beautiful. It takes you on this emotional ride and it makes you wonder about a lot of things. This can be a start of a story with so many twists. I love your details it made me actually see what was going on and you didn't over detail so it went on and on. I absolutely love how in your description it was everyone has that faith in that one person then her name is Faith, I don't know it makes me happy because of that, haha. Please add on to this story it is brilliant and I would love to know more about it. Pm if you write something again! :)



Random avatar
Nishi196 says...


Thankyou so much !
I really appreciate the time you took you read this and pass the review.
I actually only meant it as a passage, so the reader can add a beginning and the end as they like. :)




the button war, the egg being featured member, and santa necro-liking halloween-esque works are the reasons i love yws
— Carina