Young Writers Society

Yo, Kaizer.

The problems with this boil down to a horrendous issue with tense shifts and sentence composition. In total, it really holds no emotional or engaging intellectual merit for me, and I don't see any point coming of it with edits? All the same, if you know what it's all about, do tell me. Otherwise, I believe this may be one either for a drastic facelift or, given the lack of fresh images and concepts ( ? ) it may just need to be learned from.

Always aiming to improve,
Lumi

Hey there, NightKaizer. I'm just leaving a review for you

I'm honestly very confused by the meaning of the poem. I suspect the reason is that the sentence structure is rather ambiguous. Take these two lines for example:

Blazing fire reaching the sky,

Is blue but no longer.

Does peace settle among us,

Are traitors.