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His Name Was Turd

So, this poem is REALLY dumb but Facebook showed it to me in my memories from a status I posted many years ago. I couldn't resist sharing it.

I had a bird,

his name was Turd.

He went outside,

and then he died.

I had a hog

whose name was Dog.

He ate the bird

'cause dogs eat turds.

Comments

Points: 1983
Reviews: 176

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Sun Jan 29, 2017 11:50 am

sheysse wrote a review...

Hey yo! Shey here to review this thing, cause admittedly it's been in the green room too long.

As far as grammar and rhythm goes, this poem was pretty perfect. Humor was amazing. I genuinely laughed, and most humor just makes me smile and nod my head.

My only comment is the rhyming. It rhymed most of always, which added to humor. But dog and hog don't rhyme. Dog is pronounced dawg and hog is pronounced hahg. I'm not saying to fix it, just keep it in mind.

Overall, bravo on writing this humorous and creative poem. Adieu!

-Sheyren

Points: 35774
Reviews: 1274

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Fri Jan 13, 2017 7:18 pm

niteowl wrote a review...

Hi there Morrigun! Niteowl here to leave a quick review so this doesn't just hang out in the Green Room.

Overall, this is both humorous and has a strong rhyme scheme. The meter is strong and the rhymes don't feel forced.

I had a hog,

his name was Dog.

One tiny grammar thing: this is a comma splice. It would work just as well and be more grammatically sound with "I had a hog whose name was Dog."

Overall, this is silly but I liked it. Keep writing!