"Don't you like it?" As the phantom voice spoke, I realized the face I was making may have been rather off-putting. I was looking in a mirror , my old mirror from my old house. Looking around, I saw the purple I had grown accustomed to as a child. The color that was smeared over the walls of her old house. Everything here was from my old house, the old black and purple four poster bed, the cherry-stained bookshelf and even the brown leather jacket and boots that I always left on the floor. It was all here, in this place.
"Where am I? Why? How? Why am I in this place and how in the world did this place come to pass? It - this - it all - burned!" At my last word, as I faced the past, sobs shook my body and tears fell. They kept falling what felt hours, then days. Even when my eyes couldn't cry anymore, dry sobs broke through my haggard body.
Every time she so much as blinked, she saw images. Images of fire and strife, of that day and that hardship that struck my family. The image of my father crawling out of that building as the flames fell around him. The image of my mother in his arms, limp and not breathing.
Though when her eyes were open, she had to look at the place she lost that day.
End of chapter
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140,830 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
I really enjoyed this entry. There is definitely a very mysteriously feel to it. I enjoyed the superb imagery . For example, ''The image of my father crawling out of that building as the flames fell around him. The image of my mother in his arms, limp and not breathing.'' It does a very good job of showing and not telling, as it never outright states that the house burned down, but is apparent since she saw ''Fire and strife" and her father ''crawling out of that building as the flames fell around him.'' I'm really excited to find out what happens next, since although this chapter was short, it does a good job of setting the mood and tone for the piece. I also want to find out who the phantom is, and how he/her/it relates to the main character, and why they saved her from "Damnation"
Short. Simple. Beautiful. I really enjoyed this. Gave some hints and a little back story. This seems 1st person so I thought I might point out that one. Part isn't.
"The color that was smeared over the walls of her old house."
I feel that, if this is first person, that her should be my. Anyways nothing more and still really good. I hope to read more!
P.S. Forgot to say, welcome to YWS!
-Mydnyt
thanks i didn't even know it posted but hey, I didn't have much to add. I really appreciate everything and I'm glad you liked it