I hate my life. I hate my school. I hate my parents. I loathe life. I’m sad. Why... I’m not sure. I should be happy. I have straight A’s in all of my classes, I just watched my favorite sit-com, and I finally finished my project after procrastination. So why am I so damn upset? It doesn’t make any sense now. Maybe it has to do with it being Valentine’s Day and no one gave me a backwards glance. Maybe it’s because no one sits within three seats of me at lunch. Maybe it’s the terrible weather always hanging about my head. Or all of them. I can’t even be sure. It was easier in elementary school to deal with this. Why do I need anyone? My Barbie friends were always enough to satisfy me. Even back then no one liked me. I always wondered why, but then my Barbie would call me back.
But now it’s harder. I can’t bring my Barbies; else an adult will take them away. I already lost Vanessa here. Sure I got her back later, but still. It was hard to go the lunch- and the rest of the day- without a Barbie. I can’t even bring a yo-yo to lunch. I’m always so god-damned lonely. It’s like a bug; every time you think you can live without… human friends, it bites me and brings me back to reality.
That’s why I’m thinking of becoming a novelist. I’ll barely ever have to communicate with anyone. I’ll become Lillian Amsterbop, my pen-name for everything, instead of boring, stupid Day (my name). I’ll become famous and I’ll be king of the hill. No- Lillian will be. Me? I’ll just be plain old, boring, Day. The one who no one sits by during lunch.
~ Day Lillian Amsterbop- MilkNCookies
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140,843 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
Milky. I am here as requested. ^^
First off, upon reading this I have to say that it was very well-written for the most part. I'm not quite sure if it would be a story so much as a journal entry or a... I'm not sure. Something you'd put in 'other' perhaps? A story technically has a sequence of events, something happening. But anyways, I suppose that that's beside the point.
As soon as I finished your first sentence, I let out a loud sigh and thought, "angst-fest." Of course, I suppose that it's understandable that people do feel like this, it just irritates me. (I have always forced myself to look on the bright side of things, find a little light, all that jazz. People who say that their lives suck? Well, it gets to me. But that's all really beside the point.)
I'm not quite sure what I think of this, to be completely honest. It was well-written, and there's really nothing to nitpick since it's not really a story of sorts... I can't analyze characters or point of grammatical errors, so this review is pretty short and pointless.
My apologies. xD
Love!
~~Cass
Short and somewhat bittersweet. I enjoyed this a lot (sort of, it's hard to enjoy feelings like that, but I like the way you bring them to the reader), perhaps because I've come into contact with an issue similar to the one you seem to be wrestling with. The struggle to remain a socially self-sufficient adult is, alas, doomed from the start. However, your writing is really solid, especially your grip on imagery and metaphors. Keep with it, you're only going to get better.
I like your pen-name, how did you come by it?
That was very well written!
I really appreciate young talent and that is why i appreciate you'r style of writing. At this age you usually develop you'r skills or at least sharpen them but i see you have a very good base and yes the piece does bring strong emotions to the reader. My advice to you is to keep it up and try more innovative ideas because you write good just add more to it!
James
The semicolon in the beginning of the second paragraph is used incorrectly.
I really like how you touched on the topic of Barbies, because I can totally relate to that whole deal. It's like... You're not quite an adult, but you're not a kid anymore, ya know?
You should probably find someone to talk to, because you're obviously having some issues atm.
Best wishes,
Lena
Ireally like this. It deeply shows how growing up is rough. I can easily connect with this, and I'm sure almost everyone here can too.
I really like how there's a problem, explanation, and a solution. No one likes being the alone person in society, so when you find you're passion, you feel at home.
This is very deep, but it's good. keep writing
I really enjoyed reading this. It was sad, but I liked how you said in the spoiler that it is how your soul feels. I frequently write things that show what my soul feels...even when they are not particularly true.
-Kayde
Very powerful. I even read the spoiler and I couldn't stand but feel sad! It means it's really good... I think.