Hello, I'm Abby! I'm a golden retriever, around five years old. My family and I live in rural California on a a few hundred acres. My master farms smelly orange spheres that they eat a lot. His mate is a woman with a swollen stomach- I thik she;s going to have another human-puppy.She already has two. One is around three seasons old and the other is about four years.
I came to this home when I was three. I was a stray, and found by mean, big people who put me in a cage. My master had just lost their dog, so they got me. I had to ride on a ginormous metal thing with wings that went in the air, like a bird. Different people took me to my master's farm, where I've been for two years.
I remember when my master said I saved them all. It was about three seasons ago, when the newest puppy-child was still in her stomach.
Speckles had rubbed against my leg, worried.
"Abby! Do you feel that?" He asked, tense as she swayed. He seemed to be overwhelmed, almost drunk in a way.
"What? I don't feel anything, cat." I replied.
"To the west- no, the east! Oh, it's coming from everywhere!" My feline companion yelped. I peered around the house, as if a monster would appear.
"What is it, Speckles?" I asked, lowering my shaggy head to his level.
"Q-Q-Q-Q-"
"Spit it out!" I growled.
"QUAKE!" He exclaimed.
The big, burly farmer- my master- burst in. "What's all that yowling, kitty?" He asked innocently. He didn't feel it like Speckles did!
"Abby, get the humans underground, into the bubble!" We had always thought of the basement as a protective bubble. I sprinted to my master's mate, who was as big as a hippo.
I began to tug her hand with all my might, but not clamping down hard enough to harm her.
"Abby, Abby!" She shrieked. "Stop, you dog!"
"We have to go!" I whined. Like usual, my words went unheard- or at least, not understand. She heard it as strange yowls, like gibberish.
My master, with the spazzing cat in his hands, rushed in. "Abby, heel!" He barked. I disobeyed him, I admit it. This quake seemed to be really bad, even though I didn't know what it was. Dogs act on instinct, and it was my first instinct to follow Speckles' orders.
"C'mon, just downstairs! It's urgent, Speckles said it was coming, a quake-thing! Please!" I cried, dropping the flustered woman to tug on my master.
"Abby, what's gotten into you?!" He yelled, wincing.
"PLEASE!" I cried.
Then, I got it. If I had pups, I would follow someone for them, right? I had to try!
I drooped his hand and rushed towards their 3 year old son. I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and ran as fast as I could. I ran,k ran, RAN to the basement door.
"ABBY!" My master bellowed, outraged. I began to paw at the wooden door, the giggling child in my mouth, praying he would let me in.
"Huh?" The man asked, staring at me peculiarly.
"God, it's getting close!" Speckles moaned, yowling and turning in my master's hands. He was a pitiful creature when frightened.
"Open the door." My master's mate demanded, wobbling like a penguin towards us.
"What?! No!" He replied feverishly.
"Open it!"
My master obeyed his mate, turning a strange, golden, shiny knob as the door swung open.
"No time to loose!'' Speckled yelped, jumping from my flustered master's hands With his tail waving like a flag behind him, he trotted down the stairs. My master followed, screaming a string of strange words I didn't understand. The only word I recognized was 'bitch', but I wondered what my mother and myself had to do with any of the other words.
Slowly, the woman followed behind. I launched myself to the opposite end of the room as soon as I could. The man followed, dust stirring in his trail. Virtually the second- the millisecond- the lady's foot hit ground,the ground leaped treacherously. I was thrown into the vanity, while my Master caught his mate. Everyone bu Speckles- he has amazing balance, that cat- stumbled onto the floor. The pup-human smacked the ground lightly, before I floped him onto my upturned belly. He seemed, overall, unharmed.
The ground shook like an angry bull. I risked letting go of the toddler to grip a heavy metal leg to the bed in the basement. The child was on my stomach, wailing. I wanted to put my paws over my ears but couldn't. They were locked around the child. Yea, I'm smart!
Soon, the tremor was over. I hesitantly got back up, dumping the screaming child. The ground tumbled one more time, sending us sprawling. I leaped for the child, through before I could reach him, the tremor was over. IHe hit a wall, but screamed all the louder. At least he was okay. The earth finally settled, as if in defeat.
"Abby, silly girl, you saved us!" My master yelled, scooping his son up. I got extra food that night, but gave it mostly to Speckles. He was the one who really did the saving.
Speckles says we gave it to ourselves, this ability to sense disasters. He says we're so much more advanced then the humans. Me? Well, I just think God spent a bit more time on us.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This was so sweet. I loved it.
It was nicely written, apart from the grammatical errors. But I will not nitpick at those now. I'll simply go straight into what I liked. I don't think I've really read anything on this site that was in the perspective of an animal. So I enjoyed what you did with this.
One part I didn't quite understand though was this:
I would follow someone for them? This is the part I didn't understand. It seemed out of place. Probably because you didn't word yourself correctly as the way you had meant to. Maybe you should rewrite this part. The ending was great. I like how you can see animals in this way. I very much agree.
Hi! This is a pretty cute little story :D
I can see what you were going for, they farm oranges, right? It just seems a bit strange considering the dog has the name name as the fruit!
I think it would be interesting if we knew a little bit about what happened to Abby between being with her abusive owners, and her new ones. Was she in a shelter, and is that how her current master found her? You could have something like a cute scene where they first see her in the pound.
Is that meant to be a he, rather than a she?
I think it would be worth you having another look through this, there are quite a few spelling errors and places where spaces have been missed out, particularly after commas.
One thing that did bother me a little bit, is that Abby seems to talk a lot like you might expect a child to. I can see what you were going for, but it made me wonder -- if Abby is five years old, how old would that be in dog years? Would it be more appropriate if she had a voice that was a little older?
Also, I dunno, it seems a bit weird to me that she doesn't have her own names for the family. The man is her master, but the woman is just lady, and child is just child, or toddler. She refers to the cat by his given name, why not any of the people?
Anyway, this was a pretty cute and sweet story. I think the cat was the character that I liked the most :D I hope I've been of some use to you, if you have any questions or anything, just shoot me a PM!
-Tinny
That was a cute story. I really liked the voice you gave to the dog.
The only problem I have is with this sentence:
One of the "grounds" should be changed to a different word. Other than that, I enjoyed this.
Joyce
That was a really sweet story. I like how the dog didn't know everything that we knew, like how she didn't know what a baby was called. Pardon my language, but I especially liked the, "bitch" line because the dog thought it was her mother! xDThat was great! Nice job!