My eyes are dry as a desertscape; no more tears to cry.
I’m lying on the floorboards all alone.
My heart is burned as a match’s tail, lessons have been learned.
I’m trying to show the world how much I’ve grown.
So
Bring on the rain!
Wash away the pain!
Wet my eyes so they might shine,
Saturate this heart of mine.
Renew this weary spirit to the core,
Oh Petrichor!
💧
My hands are raw as worn-down leather,
feeble as a straw,
I wrap them up and try to stand once more.
My legs are weak as broken tree limbs,
crooked as a creek,
I rise and set my mind to reach the door.
So
Bring on the rain!
Wash away the pain!
Sanitize these cuts of mine,
Weld my legs to walk straight lines.
Renew this weary body to the core.
Oh Petrichor!
💧
Cleanse me of my weary sores.
Bouy me by lapping shores
Water seeds of joy and faith,
Drown my own self-doubt in rain.
Revive in me the strength
to reach for more.
Oh Petrichor!
SONG VIDEO - https://youtu.be/7sqSGBbYnzg?si=ZKxLnEJ1TxLuKw8V
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Hi Messenger, I have come for another of your poems 😊
Petrichor, the smell right before or after rain…
I really like how the lyrical narrator motivates themselves from “no more tears to cry” and an enitre paragraph that seemed like they were ready to give in but then comes the “showing the world how much I’ve grown” part and it… feels like the poem itself becomes more triumphant, with the many exclamations! I especially like the rhyme to Petrichor!
Ah and the pattern repeats, with a more downtrodden first half. I rly like this: “I wrap them up and try to stand once more.” Because it shows that even in this section the narrator is working on themselves!
And I am rly intrigued by this: “Weld my legs to walk straight lines.” It gives the entire thing a mechanical feel. Let’s me think of cybernetics but it’s probably a metaphor that I’m missing. Either way, I really like it.
Great poem and thank you for sharing :3
[Also I apologize for any typos I missed in this review, I had to type it half blind because the cat decided to block half the screen ^^°]
Ah the welding of legs was juat because I had an original lije using another water metaphor and I just rhought it sounded really bad when spoken out loud lol
Hi Messy!
Sincere apologies for the delay in getting to this! I hadn't forgotten, but I've just been crazy busy. I had it up as one of my million tabs so I wouldn't forget
So, first, I read the lyrics and then I watched the video - just to give you some context into how I approached this review. I also don't review lyrics very often - so bear with me.
First of all, I absolutely love the word "petrichor". The meaning behind it is quite beautiful and the word itself just sounds so strong. So I was really excited when I saw the title of your song! With regards to the lyrics, I loved how you really embraced the meaning behind "petrichor" - there's the dry, desert element, followed by rain, and that refreshing post-rain smell which hints at rejuvenation. The lyrics are so visceral which I found quite unique, as I usually find songs tend to be lacking in strong imagery. I particularly appreciated these lines:
I think near the end I would have appreciated more evolution, if that makes sense? Like, at the start it makes a lot of sense that there is concept of pain being washed away, followed by a sense of relief. But I'm wondering if, at the end, there is somewhat of a resolution? To me, that would follow sensibly considering this idea of petrichor. But that could be just me!
When I listened to/watched the video, I was pleasantly surprised. It is so different than the last song you shared, and I actually think this one is more powerful with the music. It obviously imbued more emotion and changed some interpretation of the lyrics itself. I really thought that was well done. Sorry that I can't provide more constructive criticism on the music itself - after all, I'm a simple poet. BUT - like Genevieve said, it is so different and in a really good way.
Looking forward to the next songs you come up with!
<3
Lav
I somehow never saw this..... but tha k yiu for the feedback! This song was pretty personal when my wife was very pregnant and summer was ending and the resolution was more about that tome ending and the season itself just being a relief than me doing anything. But I get what youre saying about more of a resolution about what gets done after standing again.
I put SO much time into that music video lol im glad it was worth it.
This piece is so different from the first piece It's Finally Fall! that it felt really interesting and dynamic listening to them back-to-back! Not gonna lie, perhaps it's my lack of vocab but I did have to look up what petrichor meant lol! Glad to know now! This song felt really dramatic, and somehow still fit into the every-changing dynamic of fall. Your first song felt fun and playful with the brightness of the colors, while thing one felt more cold and moody to match the tone of rain. Yet even so, your lyrics feel unique and authentic to your writing style. I love that it didn't feel basic or simple. It flowed well, felt dynamic, was sung beautifully by Yara Liz, and was overall a well-written song and great to listen to! Can't wait to see, and hear, what you come out with next
Not sure if this even constitutes as a review or not but I'm just gonna make it a comment.