Astorian Myths - Part 2

by Messenger

Published March 29, 2016

In Astorian Myths

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Before the sun was up the next morn, Taven was already at work. She cleaned the stall, tidied up the shed, and was placing a fresh vase of mixed flowers on the table in the cabin, when her father awoke. He was dressed in his usual: a bland tunic with a belt tied around his waist and a robe in his left arm, which Taven helped him to put on.

“So,” Taven began, as she scrounged around the small kitchen area, making a simple breakfast of fresh bread and fruit, “what are you going to do today? I’d like to go visit Jenny before Mathias arrives. Will you need any help?”

Her father shook his head and took a seat. “No. Go ahead dear. Just make sure you’re back by noon, or Mathias may be one hungry man with no meal!”

They both laughed lightly.

“I’ll be off then! I’ve already had breakfast, and I’ve packed a lunch.” She gave him a peck on the cheek and waved as she left the cabin.

Jenny lived about three miles away, due east. As Taven headed towards the glowing horizon, the forest woke about her. The birds had already been singing for an hour or so, but now Taven could hear and the see the rabbits and squirrels as they hurried about. The squirrels were especially active, she noted, saving up for winter.

Glad I brought my fleece jacket, Taven thought, as she felt a breeze with a slightly nip in it swirl through the air.

Despite the fact that the world was lighting up for another day, and the animals seemed to be excited and happy, Taven had a bit of fear to her as she recalled the story of how her friend Jenny had been kidnapped and assaulted by an Emerald mage. The story went that the mage had been sent on a quest to find a missing artifact from a century ago, but upon discovering its location in Rivendale Forest, and more specifically, the little village of Wenshire, he had arrived with a pompous attitude, and had quite disturbed the place.

Now, both Jenny and Taven lived several miles from the village, but they did occasionally stop by to buy supplies. The story went that when the mage found what he believed was the artifact, it was in actuality a family heirloom that Jenny as a necklace. It was a stone of deep blue, and it caught the mage’s eye. When Jenny wouldn’t hand the stone over he had dragged her into an alley and tried to take it from her. Victor, an often drunk man, saw the event unfold and called for help. In the confusion of subduing the mage he cast something magical that had hit Jenny.

Since that event she’d been keeping to herself at her family’s farm, and was struggling with strange dreams and nightmares almost every night. As a result it was no surprise when Taven arrived at the cabin nestled among the trees, that Jenny looked exhausted. She had bags under her eyes; her whole body seemed to be absent of strength. Just a few weeks ago she had been as fast as a hare, happy as a bird. Now she looked like she wanted to curl up on ground in despair.

She was in a rocking chair on the verandah of the log cabin, blanket wrapped around her. She offered the weakest of smiles to Taven and motioned for her little brother, a spry lad of seven, to go inside. As he went inside Taven waved at him and smiled, then turned to Jenny.

“Hey Jenny,” she said, stooping down and running her hands through jenny’s tangled chocolate-colored hair. “You’ve got a loyal protector there,” she said, nodding her head towards the cabin entrance where the boy had gone, and was now peeking his head around the corner.

Jenny’s eyes twinkled and her lips curled up. It was the best thing to agreeing as she could do without talking, which was in and of itself tiresome.

“I brought lunch,” Taven said, pulling over a small stool and sitting on it. “Eaten anything this morning?”

Jenny shook her head. Her lip trembled. “I feel awful Tave. I’m scared.”

“More nightmares,” Taven said, pulling out a jar of berries she’d picked that morning. She held one up to Jenny’s mouth. “You gotta eat Jen. You have to keep your strength.”

“I just don’t feel like it,” Jenny said, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. Her voice shook. “The dreams are getting worse. I see horrible things. Horrible!” she moaned, and the tears rolled silently down her cheek.

Taven set the berries aside and gripped Jenny’s weak arm. “Everything will be ok.”

Taven felt like such a liar, saying things that she didn’t even believe. Jenny can’t lose hope though. I have to believe for her.

“Will it though? Tave. What if I really was cursed? There’s nobody with the sort of power to remove for hundreds of miles!” She struggled to keep her breathing steady.

Taven had no answer. She’s right. Unless…

“Then I’ll go find someone who can.”

“Taven you’re crazy. You don’t even know who would, or could do it. There’s no mages or wizards around here.”

Taven shook her head. “I have to try. You’re my best friend. I’m not going to let you suffer like this if I can help.”

Jenny didn’t have the willpower to argue. “Where will you go?” she asked in a quiet voice.

“The Emerald. Th-“

“No!” Jenny blurted out, grasping Taven’s hand. “They’re the ones who did this to me! They’ll hurt you to!”

Taven jumped at the rebuke but recovered. “Listen. Jen, you have to trust me. They’re the only people who know how to heal you.” She hesitated. “Maybe they’re not all bad.”

What am I saying? Of course they are! But Jenny can’t think that.

Jen wiped her eyes. “But if they are?”

“You’ll just have to hope they aren’t. Now, I’ve made up my decision. I’m going. But if you don’t do your best to stay strong over here, then it won’t be worth anything. “

“Tave,” Jenny said, with an absolute sincerity and determination in her voice, “I’ve been as strong as I can be. But I’m losing it. I want to believe I’ll be okay, but I might not. I probably won’t. I don’t want to have you on my conscious if that happens.”

It was Taven’s turn to keep herself calm. “I won’t let anything happen. I’ll get someone to help you and you’ll get better. “ She looked straight into Jenny’s deep, grey eyes. “I promise.”

Comments & reviews · 2
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Brigadier
Review
Brigadier wrote a review Review · Apr 3, 2016

Hey there Messenger. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

Note before I begin that I have not read the previous chapter. It will be obvious from my questions but I feel the need to put it in my reviews for the just in case factor. After I finish this review, I'll only have one more until my fourth star. so enough with my chit chat and let's get on with it.

Some of your sentences are really long which caused the paragraphs to be really long. The only place this bothered me was the paragraph that begin with "Despite". That entire paragraph was made up of two or three sentences. I feel that it needs to be split somewhere but I'm not sure how. I won't quote it down here because it is so long and also because my phone is being a pain and won't let me copy and paste.

I haven't written much for my spelling, grammar, and typos category lately so I guess I've been lucky. I just found a couple of typos. When Taven first greets Jenny, her name has a capital J. A couple of sentences down the J wasn't capitalized. I'm pretty sure it was meant to be caps because I've never seen capitalization stylistic choices within a novel. There was a part of the dialogue I wanted to talk about but I can't find it again. Huh. If I find it later I'll come back and edit my review.

Of what little story that happened I enjoyed. You seem to rely very heavily on the different descriptions throughout the piece. So when Taven is thinking about Jenny is she sort of going into flashback mode? What I mean is do her thoughts align with the story you're telling. I think my explanation just made my question even more confusing. Oh cow. I am glad that you separated some of her thoughts with italics. That really gets on my nerves when the thoughts can't be identified from the actual dialogue.

Well that's about all I have for this review. Sorry if I couldn't offer anymore comments but there wasn't that much to comment on. I didn't want to make this completely praise and it would ended up that way if I continued.
Happy Review Day!
Lizzy
Queen of the Book Clubs
This is my 149th review!

Youngwriter724 wrote a review Review · Apr 2, 2016

Wonderful story, I love how you describe the morning probably the most. I really love how well written your dialoge is. And how you describe your charicters. I really felt as if I knew Taven, the sweet and innocent girl. Along with her friend Jenny. Though I am curious about there parents, or how old they are.
Anyway this is part two and I havnt read the first so there is know telling what I have missed. Curious though do you explain how wizards are perceived in your story? You know like how in some wizards are mighty and wise and respected by all. it sounds like maybe there a little more evil in your story.
I loved the story, and hope to read more soon. Keep up the amazing work (;

thanks for the review! yes, there is going to be a lot more on magic and wizardry :)

~Messy



You wanna be a writer? You don't know how or when? Find a quiet place, use a humble pen.
— Paul Simon