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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Text!!!!!!!!!!!
Plucked from the earth,
Spoiler
leaving only the flimsy, shuddering stem,
sticking out of the luscious grass and soil.
I was the dandelion, you were the firm hand,
grasping at my leaves
like I held your life and your destiny.
You made a wish on me,
I thought it meant I was beautiful,
but you blew at me,
brushed away my only pride,
swept it into the wind’s breath,
just to be squandered and squashed.
For us, life was just a crayon drawing,
our souls and minds bound to stick figures,
and we grew like semi-circle petaled flowers,
absorbing short dashes of sun rays.
It didn’t matter if we made an inch of a mistake,
coloring out of the lines.
That’s why you treated me like a weed,
taunting me, searching for four leaves,
when I was a clover cursed with three.
Because we knew the sky was watching,
but for us, it was a distance,
a line at the top of a page.
I'm just going to be honest and say I just woke up so my brain might not be entirely focused :>
I really like the flower metaphors. As a kid I picked dandelions a lot until I realized they withered within a day. Dandelions are often revered as plain or weeds. They crowd up places and they are bothersome to more "prettier" plants. People weed them out with curse words and sighs. But you know, a weed is a flower grown in the wrong place. Maybe the garden is no place for the "weed" and maybe the garden wants no dandelions in their patch. but out in the field, where no one could question, demand or even glance at, I'm sure lots of dandelions are able to grow in peace.
but the saddest part is is then you make a wish and drop it to the side. half the time you know the wish will never come true, so why kill off a dandelion when you know there is absolutely no use? the truth is, people want what they cant have. and what they have, they don't want until it's gone. so meet someone who appreciates a dandelion while its alive, rather than what they can use it for and have it wither away.
I'm sorry this wasn't much like a review. have a good day!
Thank you for the review! I like your interpretation of the dandelion.
you can thank my history class for teaching me that there's no true such thing as a weed XD but thanks for the appreciation.
Hai :3
Aaa this is so beautiful and bittersweet!! The metaphor with the dandelion really got to me ~~ Like, it perfectly captures that feeling of being something delicate, something people only see as useful for their own wishes or dreams, but not really valued for what it is. The transition from the dandelion metaphor to the crayon drawing is so vivid too!! You totally nailed that feeling of childhood simplicity, but you layered it so well with this deeper emotional weight!!
This soooo poignant!!
I can feel that moment of misplaced hope so clearly, like the narrator thought they were cherished, but nope, just used and discarded. That’s some devastating imagery right there, and the way you used the wind to symbolize that sense of being blown away, like scattered dreams or a lost identity, is so clever!! Like this line especially is so heartbreaking!! It adds a layer of frustration and heartache, like they’re almost enough, but not quite what the other person wanted.
This is such a powerful visual for how boxed-in or simplistic life can feel when you're treated like less than you are ~~ It's like a reminder of how life is often simplified or misunderstood. This whole poem feels so young to me, so childish and immature, but in the most beautiful way!! Reading this was like walking through all of my memories and reminiscing on my past, and it made me miss being a kid again!! That's truly so captivating to me, and it's so hard to evoke emotions in poetry like that!!
^^^ Though, in terms of the crayon imagery, I love the idea of "semi-circle petaled flowers" and "short dashes of sun rays," but I feel like a lot of your imagery is leaning a bit too much into common tropes. You’ve got such a unique voice here, so pushing those visuals into something more unexpected would really make them stand out!! There's no real weight of the realizations the narrator is having, so this child-like imagery doesn't have the effect it should. It doesn't hit me hard.
This is so cool, like the sky is this unreachable thing, always present but never really close or attainable. It’s such a strong closing image, leaving me with this ache of longing for something more!! I'm so in love with that idea!! ^_^
- Payton
Thank you so much for the review!