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Sorry for the (very) late review.
Anyways, now with the story. I loved it. So beautiful, the idea and the thought is very strong. You have used metaphors nicely, a quality I wish I'd master. They elevate the whole text. Being familiar with the concept of arranged marriage, I can relate to it. Your work is very poetic. The last paragraph is by far my favorite.

Geez, Lumi. Finally you write something in which I can actually sorta kinda maybe review for you.
You know poetry isn't my strength, lad. :3 But I can give your flash fiction a shot.

By the power of southern sweet tea and grits, let me go forth! <3

Alright, so maybe I'm not the only one. I'm a bit confused with what you were going for in this piece and what you mean as the overall message to it. It makes me think... I'm quite familiar with the arranged marriage concept for my culture also enjoys doing the daddy picks the groom thing. I had a similar arrangement last year where some guy's family was like, "Hello!" And I was like, "Goodbye!" 8D. Anyway, that's not the point.

The point is, I don't exactly get the marketplace scene and it looks like your headed towards something dark, some sort of passion which goes unquenched and then feeling the pain over losing yourself to a wrong path or demon. That's what I get out of this and yet, I feel like I'm wrong and there's something else to it. *Was never good at this.*

Your writing, however is very poetic and it's not surprising. I knew before I began that I was going to have to dive deep with this and probably might have to dissect each sentence. However, it is prose and you might need to settle down and try not to stuff too much wildness into a short passage. That's just me though, my advice is something you should take with three cents. Not two because I'm your southern buddy.

Overall, this is beautiful and painful, as said. You are gifted in writing things that are usually, always amazing and I never get tired of reading your works no matter how many times I have to go through to tear out the meaning, the reality that hides behind your blockade of wonderful words.

Much love,
-Pink
(And I know that wasn't very helpful but you get what I can give.)

Oh dear, this was quite the mouthful.

Not that that's a bad thing, or anything like that! After all, it is flash-fiction and every word counts. Which makes me enjoy how poetic this was. And it was very poetic. Rather than the harsh reality of what you tried to make happen in this, it had to be read a couple of times before any of the real plot kicked in, as the words and metaphors were stunning and gorgeous.

Which brings me to my first point. Did you use your wording effectually?

In this case, I feel that you tried to find beauty in madness. Rather, beauty in pain, and this felt very painful. That's a clever and interesting way of attacking something head-on, but it didn't do the story justice as prose. It has the mentality of a piece of poetry, capturing pretty images and extended metaphors to smother that initial shock of actuality. In prose, you don't need to muffle it all out.

As if goes, I found this confusing. And generally, prose is not confusing. It can be ironic and it can be shocking, but this lost me without really putting up any sort of a fight. You work very subtly here, making a very... well, provocative ideology either purposefully or by accident, and I'm starting to think it was the first of the two choices after having read it a couple more times. Its all rather visceral. And to think on that path would be rather shocking and disturbing.

I'm just not quite sure where I'm supposed to be going with this. There are two many specifics left out, and so much subtlety that I end up thinking that this is going in a certain direction whether it is or not. And it sure looks like it went in a very serious and very.. well, creepy direction.

That being said, other than all of what I've stated, I liked this. I like the realization, and the way the narration sounded even if I had to read it a couple of times to get past the beauty and see if for what it really is, or what it really could be. You have such an interesting way with words that even your prose comes out looking like a bouquet of flowers rather than one single flower. One facet. And prose usually has a very straight forward, single facet.

I'm definitely torn on this one.

~Walker

Hiya Lumi!

All I have to say is just wow! I really loved your story; I guess Joshua's competetion got us all into flashfiction! I'd normally start with critiques and then work my way through to some positive points, but the latter are all I have!

Your prose is so sharp, attuned, and defined. Your passages of prose are particularly enthralling in this piece. It flowed so smoothly and in such a lovely way.

The only nitpick I have is to do with this sentence here:

Lumi wrote:Only as a man approaches do I fear

Sorry if this is completely wrong but...was it to with an arranged Muslim marriage? I thought that where "Father" came in, because anywhere else it may have been a little weird.

I really enjoyed it, I love how she compares herself to a silken scarf and how you repeatedly come back to this point, it's really beautiful. Also the imagery of the markets is to die for, to be honest I love all of the imagery.

This is a beautiful piece, I am glad I've had the chance to read it. Was I right about the arranged marriage angle? Xxx