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139,823 Literary Works • 672,772 Reviews
I really really love the format of this poem and how delicate word choices are for such a dark subject. The only thing I would say is that your imagery was so delicate that it was so hard to place what this poem was primarily about without seeing the description. The first 8 lines were a bit confusing and I had trouble correlating it with the rest but it was beautifully written. My favorite line was
"From night after night for year when you would hold me in the chill, years when you would sing Sinatra on my lips"
A very hauntingly beautiful line!
I loved this and will keep a look out for more of your work
Hi!
First, I want to express you how magnificent I truly think this piece is. You have woven a beautiful story of hurt and love. I commend you for the unique layout of this poem. What made you think of it? As a person who has suffered from abuse and went through the healing process, I can definitely relate to the feeling behind this poem. There were just a fews lines that confused me.
"to tell the truths as silken as i am worth love"
I'm not quite sure what you are implying here... comparing your worth to silk? Or telling the truth is your worth?
"from night after night for years when you would"
I don't think you need the words from night after night because in the line before this you had just written from the nights.
(I absolutely love the picture you draw with your words in this stanza though.)
This was beautiful and I can't wait to read more of your work!
<3 rascalover