I wonder, when i die,
Would you even cry?
You said, you loved me enough,
To let me go.
I asked, "this is what love is,
........... to let go?"
You answered, "of course,
This is what it is."
But, I didn't believe you a bit.
For me,
Love is to keep,
to hold on to,
Close to your heart,
Even when you are apart.
I don't want you to stop your life for me,
I don't want you to be stuck.
I want you to go out and,
find love again.
But,
I also want you to remember me for eternity,
till your last breathe
But thats a wish,
that is too selfish to ask.
So,
All i ask of you,
is to give me a small place in your heart.
Remember me again,here and there in your life,
Remember me again, in my living days and not my dying ones.
And, to never let me go,
For i loved you first and the most.
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Hello friend! Ellie here to review this lovely poem of yours! Let's jump right in
I read this a few times, and this part really stood out to me. You ask the big question, "Would you even cry if I died?" but its the next part that really stood out. Time saying that they love you enough to let you go. That is such an interesting phrase. In my interpretation it's the same as saying "they dont love you enough to miss you" or something along those lines. Either way, I love how you phrases that part.
The writer of this letter (you or a character) says that they feel too selfish to ask to be remembered for eternity, so...
I think this really shows a lot of selflessness, not selfishness. Being remembered is not selfish, especially by someone who is dying in this situation. Just make sure you add a space after the word again/the comma, before here, on that last line above. Overall, this poem speaks of love and loss and death and letting go. I would love to know more about the characters and what has caused this dynamic in the relationship. But I loved how simply you write this and the statements you made like "For i loved you first and the most." So beautiful!
Your friend,
Ellie
Oh also!! I forgot- I was going to comment of your 'I's' and 'i's' some are capitalized and some are lowercase- I am not sure if this was intentional or not but that stood out to me too
this is very good! I feel like in this poem it shows how the person writing the letter is sad that they know they have to go and doesn't want to accept it. then towards the end they say how "I also want you to remember me for eternity," meaning they don't want them to forget them even though they inevitably will and they realize that when they say "that is too selfish to ask.". then at the end the writer says how they want the person they're writing too to remember them randomly and remember how much they meant to them and much they loved each other. but to also remember the writer in their best days and not in their worst because they only want their lover to have the best memories because the writer does not want to let go but has no choice but too. very good!
Thank you for sharing this amazing work. I feel that the line "I wonder, when I die, would you even cry?" is something that I really relate to. I often feel like people in general wouldn't care if I just disappeared, and I often wonder if that's true. I also don't want to be forgotten, which makes the line "I also want you to remember me for eternity." hit especially hard. However, I often feel that I'm not worth people's time, which makes the accompanying line "But that is a wish, that is too selfish to ask." add to it. overall this was a very relatable poem, and thanks again for sharing.
-Corp. Cleo Carson
Strong message about remembering and about love. What I find fascinating is the last verse that expresses strength and call to return the love that was given. This poem combines in an excellent way "giving" and "taking". It shows it very well through the contrast. Thank you for sharing this poem!