I wanted her love,
she wanted me to leave,
we had loved each other so much,
that it overflowed,
and one day,
that love was not enough,
anymore,
Three years of marriage,
two years of love,
one year of friendship,
And we made zero efforts to save it all,
She thinks, I will move on soon,
She thinks, I will forget her,
And maybe,
I want that too.
But,
How can I forget about our first meeting in the library?
How can I forget about our late night beach walks?
How can I forget about our baking together?
How can I forget that you're allergic to nuts?
How can I forget that you are still wearing the necklace that i gave to you?
You tell me!!
How can I do that to us?
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Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Hey friend! I am here to leave a review on this fantastic poem of yours! I hope you have a lovely day. Let’s not waste any time and let’s jump right into the review:
First of all, I absolutely love what this poem is about, I love the reflective tone that you use throughout the entire piece. It seems like this poem reflects on a lost, love, perhaps someone that you were even married to or wanted to be married to. use this listing type of talk. You list the three years of marriage. two years of love, and one year friendship. I love how you did this. You write about this really powerful feeling of losing someone and having them move on, but you yourself, not feeling ready.
in the second half of this poem, one thing that you did that I really like is how you asked so many questions to the readers. Although I can tell that you were speaking to this person who you love, this makes me feel like someone is speaking to me, and makes me reflect on things that I have done in the past to hurt other. I enjoyed you list all of these specific things about this person, such as their all and walks that you took together at a time when things were better. You really ask the question, what did I do to deserve this? Or at least, that’s how I interpreted it. It’s such an interesting mix of love and anger and resentment and hurt from the past. I enjoyed your poem because it was easy to follow along, but also very engaging and relatable. You touch on a lot of powerfully emotions and I think you did a fantastic job. Overall, I love this and I hope that you write more that I can read soon! Keep on writing and have a lovely day friend !
Your friend,
Ellie
Hello, My Friend!
You wrote an incredible piece here. Each line rings with emotion, bringing it through to the reader. Alongside each vivid detail that was included, they tell a unique story about having loved and lost. It's just incredible.
*ahem, as for a more technical review, I have little to complain about. Structure and content were both great. As a very minor recommendation, I don't think those lines toward the end need commas after the question marks, but that's a very minor thing. Great writing job ~
As I read, one of my favorite parts was when the poem transitioned from the subject of moving on to all the details, putting more focus on how hard that is. I was also captivated by the way you describe the relationship with this line:
The idea of an "overflow," of it becoming too much before not enough, was just a fascinating poetic detail that, again, made this piece feel very unique and authentic.
Overall, this was a lovely poem. Thank you for sharing it with us ~
Thank you so much for your review. i am glad you liked this piece. (-:
also, i wanted to ask how do you do this...ummm.....thing like bold double inverted commas and the darkened color with the copied texts?
I am new to the online world so i dont know much. sometimes i feel like i have a generational gap between me and my age people. ok look at me rambling, forget it.
so, thanks again and please answer whenever you are free.
No problem!
And the formatting is different on YWS, I'm still getting used to it myself lol. For the quote format, it's a code you have to put in. So if you want to quote something, you would type this, but without the asterisks:
[*quote] Write whatever you want to quote here [/quote*]
This is also how you do bold type [b], italics [i], and even spoiler boxes [spoiler]. The post linked below makes a great reference sheet if you want more specifics. Hope this helps ^^
The Big Book of YWS Codes
[* so thank u, again for teaching me]
Hi, you're poetry is nice. I don't know about poetry rhythm. But about the meaning, it's a love song and that when relationship brake up its memories will left. In a friendship one may want to brake up but the other one still have feeling to the other one. If you tried and you're works wasn't successful, you would try again. That's alright sometime don't get the results you want.Writing is a good skill.
Thanks a lot for the review. glad you liked it.
Writing is a good skill. Hope you be successful in it.
thank you for your best wishes. hope you have a great day/night.