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The story of a bird and a fish

by Lolita18


I liked the ocean 

You liked the sky

Both so blue,

Both so deep 

But still,

I felt a connection

A connection so strong

That it broke

I needed to swim low 

You needed to fly high

I tried to come to you 

You tried to come to me

But we both failed

And that was when 

I finally understood,

That we were never meant to be 

Because,

I liked the ocean

And

You liked the sky


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31 Reviews

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Reviews: 31

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Fri Apr 19, 2024 6:21 pm
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KaavyaK wrote a review...



Wow, this is an awesome poem written by the poet.

"I finally understood,
That we were never meant to be
Because,
I liked the ocean
And
You liked the sky"
Yes, there is always a love story which never fulfills because 'Opposite always attracts'.

This is more like a couplet telling how affectionate and passionate the lovers are, but few differences make them apart.
Such an amazing poem in which each and every line is so powerful and effective.

Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.




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270 Reviews

Points: 18727
Reviews: 270

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Mon Apr 15, 2024 11:38 pm
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EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

I ADORE how you used the image of sea and sky in this poem!

I liked the ocean

You liked the sky

Both so blue,

Both so deep


Two people. One is meant for the sky and the other, the ocean. I absolutely love the detail you included. yes, they are both blue, they are similar and may seem right for each other, but in the end, they are not and never will be. sometimes it is these unchanging details that hurt the most. we want to be meant for the ocean, but really we are not.

ahh, these lines!!

I felt a connection

A connection so strong

That it broke



sometimes its the strongest emotions (love and hate) that are what break us. we always think that it is only the hatred that is the enemy, but really it is so much more. love kills too.

I needed to swim low

You needed to fly high

I tried to come to you

You tried to come to me

But we both failed


we try to compromise. we try to change. we try to be who others want us to do, but in the end, that always fails. it might be possible, but that does not mean that it is meant to be. how beautiful is this metaphor?! this truly is beautiful, incredible job!

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

in my opinion, breaking this poem into stanzas and adding some commas and periods to transform this into a more sentence-like structure could really shape it into an even more mature piece. i would absolutely LOVE to see a poem written from the perspective of the person who likes the sky :)

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

this ending really pulled my heart strings!

I finally understood,

That we were never meant to be

Because,

I liked the ocean

And

You liked the sky


that is an incredibly mature realization. i love the progression of this poem, from trying to make it work, to ultimately realizing that possible does not mean meant to be. gorgeous!

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

I adore this poem so so much. Keep writing! Cannot wait for more!

Your friend,
Ellie

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!




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78 Reviews

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Reviews: 78

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Mon Apr 15, 2024 2:18 pm
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goodolnoah wrote a review...



Ooo, this is very nice! I've never seen a poem similar to this where Birds and Fish are used in a metaphor relating to love. I think you achieved the idea of an "unworkable" love :)

I felt a connection

A connection so strong

That it broke

I needed to swim low

You needed to fly high

I tried to come to you

You tried to come to me


The middle of this poem in particular is my favorite part, I like the alliteration(?) here where the same idea is repeated multiple times from two different perspectives to show how lovers may drift apart!




Lolita18 says...


Thank you%u0964
I am really happy that you enjoyed it




This looks like a really bad episode of Green Acres.
— David Letterman