Young Writers Society

This is such a beautifully written poem. I've definitely been in relationships like this, and not just romantic ones. You can't be happy because the other person isn't happy. Its very sad how some relationships are like this, when silence on both ends leads to a perpetual cycle of both parties thinking, "am I good enough, do i make them happy." Anyway, amazing poem and it captures a lot in a few short lines.

oh damn that is so beautifully written like wow that is really some nice work like the soul it holds filled w love like saying that

"I don't want you to feel pain,
But... how should I explain?
If you're not happy with me,
You shouldn't be with me."

oh this really explains all the love that this poetry has it's such a beautiful line it's painful to be without the person you love but yea letting go of them if they are not happy with you is such a lovely act courageous one.This line made you poem wow for me fr.

"I don't want you to be sad,
But only when it starts to get bad.
You have to feel the sad to be happy.
I hope that the sad isn't too bad."


man what? nah cuz this is so good like yes we will never know how being happy feels if we will never feel the sad true but being sad hurts right no one wanna be sad but the truth is truth that u will never know really happiness without it and the u said "I hope that sad isn't too bad" oh such a pretty line that yes we still can't see our loved one in pain so this line is really nice.


How we always wanna see our loved one happy and make them relies on their worth that yes you can do anything and you are loved and if anything, then I'm here I'll always admire you, this poetry got it all so beautifully.

keep it up
It was a nice one fr
Arohi

Hey, coming in to review this really cool poem!
I really loved this--it showed the back-and-forth of wanting someone to be happy but also loving them so much it hurts. It’s laced with wanting the best for someone, but also wanting them to feel comfortable in themselves. I almost felt anxiety reading this, as though the narrator is talking to their person and constantly second-guessing themself. In that way, I guess it even shows how addressing someone you love can be nerve-wracking!
This poem also could have benefited from some more vivid words. You’ve already painted a picture of the narrator wanting their person to be happy, but it could pain an even more vivid picture with some varied words. I notice you use “sad” a lot, and while it makes sense, you could also use some deeper synonyms and descriptive words--”sad” could mean a lot of things, and as the reader I’m curious as to what “type” of sad the person is feeling. The same goes for some other words--they could be more specific and add a lot of interest to the poem!
I also feel like the rhyme scheme could have been more organized, right now it feels like almost every line rhymes, but there are some exceptions.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this! It describes the feeling of wanting someone to be alright so well, and really captures the narrator’s love for this person. Can’t wait to read more of your poetry!
<3, Meenal (theromanticchemist)