You won't be satisfied
Until I've inhaled your carbon monoxide
-LQ
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
This is a really interesting piece! I'm no expert on poetry, so I don't have a lot of criticism to give on this. I do like the vagueness of it though. It isn't clear how it is meant to be interpenetrated and leaves the reader free to imagine for themselves the context of the words and the story behind them.
Overall, great work!
Never ever stop writing
-LittleFox
Thanks a lot.
Happy Review Day! I'm ComicalCrafty, and on behalf of the Reviewing Ravens, I bestow upon thee a review.
This is a very interesting piece! I've never read a couplet before, and I'm not sure how they're supposed to work, but I enjoyed reading this poem. It's short and snappy, and sounds like an eloquent insult towards somebody who has subjected the narrator to unpleasant things. Still, it makes me wonder in what context these words were spoken. The imagination can build an entire story around these words ... maybe a line of dialogue in a tense scene between two arguers? The possibilities are endless.
Have a wonderful rest of this glorious Review Day. Go teams!
Omg this is so short but says so much I didnt think that was possible till i read this. At first it really confused me then I kept re reading it and it start to slowly make sense to me. I would really like you to add more depth to this poem for future readers to clear anything up that may have been confusing to them. Sometimes less is more and in your case Less is definately more here. You can grasp more easily things that are over looked in other poems here in only 9 words. I like your poem and I would enjoy more of your idea like this.
Happy review day
Hey, Lioness. Happy Review Day from the Wicked Squids! This is Nonny here and I'll start off by saying that I really enjoy short poems. Impact that can be presented within just a few lines is the best impact that someone can give to someone. I didn't realize what your poem was about until you wrote that final line. The fact that Carbon Monoxide is toxic and your couplet writes that the person of interest is not satisfied until you inhale it, is incredibly intense. I think that you captured a couplet perfectly and the intensity is certainly there. I really hope to see more from you in the future and I'm probably going to head on over to your profile soon to check out the rest of your work if you have any. I'm sorry that this was so short but there isn't many things you can say about such a short poem, especially a well written one. Thank you so much for sharing with us and I hope that you are having a wonderful review day and may the best team win.